(Closed) Depression and Friendship

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
220 posts
Helper bee

anonhbp2015:  a true friend would have understood, if all you said was “there was a death in my family” (no questions asked).  

The fact that you’re dealing with trauma from 2 deaths, one being a truly horrific situation and she STILL can’t understand?  You don’t need friends like these.  If anything, she should be crawling back to you, begging for your forgiveness for being so cold and callous – but either way, you don’t need her. 

Post # 32
3 posts
  • Wedding: June 2015

That is the most bridezilla thing I have ever heard. I’m so sorry she is being so awful.

It’s normal to have a delayed reaction. If you were my friend and you “seemed fine” I would be expecting the day to eventually come when you weren’t and you needed me.

as others have said, [email protected]@k her.

Post # 33
112 posts
Blushing bee

Your friend is an idiot, and this is just another situation where people see mentalillness as a joke. If you had just had a stroke, or wer going through chemo would she have called you selfish and awful? If anyone had the ‘right’ to be depressed, its you, after what you’ve gone through. (Not saying one must go through horrible life circumstances to be depressed, but I would think given a murder in the family, a broken engagement and another death, your friend might be more understanding?!) She obviously is uneducated on mental health, and I hope for her sake she nor anyone she loves has to deal with it, because clearly has no understanding of it.

Post # 35
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Post # 36
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

anonhbp2015:  Wow… well if she doesn’t believe in depression, does she at least believe in grief?!… as in, when your grandfather dies, you might need some ‘quiet time’ to come to terms with it? I mean, seriously, even if you hadn’t been through what you had been through with losing your father, any death in the familiy is more than a good enough excuse to miss someone’s bachelorette party.

Hugs.. I’m sorry she’s beeing such a bad friend and I hope that you’re surrounded with supportive people who have some common sense and understand. 

Post # 37
234 posts
Helper bee

You did the right thing. What a fucking bitch she is being. Moving on and focusing on the good is the right mindset, props to you!

Post # 38
40 posts
  • Wedding: Loon Lake Lodge, Lakeville, MA

Wow. There was someone recently that said on tv that bipolar is not real either. It just makes me sad. Having supportive people means the world in a depressed person, like me. 

Post # 39
102 posts
Blushing bee

I think your friends does not actually understand what mental illness is. I personally would just move on from this friendship, she is ignorant and cold-hearted. If you do feel like trying to reconcile, I think you need to explain that your bout of depression during her bachelorette party is no different than any other medical problem or emergency that would have made you unavailable. She wouldn’t have been pissed if you had a heart attack and missed her party, a bout of depression is just as uncontrollable and debilitating. 

ETA: I read your update, your friend isn’t going to budge on her opinion about depression, just dump her as a friend and move on. I personally could not be friends with someone who has NO empathy.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  megan.daisy.
Post # 41
10972 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

If you lose this “friendship”, I don’t think you’ve lost much.

I’ve suffered through the kind of depression you describe & no way could I have participated in anything during the worst of it.

Take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself.  Sending you warm cyber hugs from SoCal.

Post # 42
533 posts
Busy bee

Glad to hear you are feeling better and moving forward.

I wish not believing in stuff made it not exist. (Don’t think the IRS will go for it though.) This is a major health crisis you, the Doctor, are experiencing. Even insurance companies acknowledge AND COVER mental health related illnesses like depression.  

Unfortunately, the only thing that does not exist in this situation is the good, kind, reasonably intelligent friend you thought this person to be.  (From experience: Don’t be surprised if you find yourself grieving for the person you thought her to be and angry at the real person for taking your illusionary friend away.)

Major silver lining, you know (not just believe) that your fiance and M are true blue.


Post # 43
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Unfortunately, a lot of people that have not suffered through severe grief are not able to understand when someone they know is going through it. I have learned this through personal experience, I had a broken engagement myself and went through a weird grieving process for about a year and a half (I still think I might be going through it) where somedays I would be fine, somedays I would be depressed, some days I would lash out. I noticed that the least supportive people in my life were the ones who had not gone through severe grief. 


I’m hoping your friend will come around, but at this time I’m not sure she will be able to understand the situation. I’m just going by my personal experiences.

The topic ‘Depression and Friendship’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors