Post # 1
Hello, my husband and I are going to start trying for a baby in a couple of months. We got married last August. To prepare for pregnancy, I went off my antidepressant medication (Lexapro) in January. Unfortunately, things haven’t been going too well. When I was on my medication, I was so excited to be getting married and then to be trying for a baby, but now that I’m off my medication, all I can think about is leaving my husband. When we first got together, I wasn’t very attracted to him, but he was really nice and “ticked all the boxes on paper” (ie. good job, nice house, etc). We started dating because he pursued me until I said yes! I actually broke up with him a few weeks in, but then we talked things out and got together again. I moved in with him after six months mostly because I was at a point in my life when I needed to move (was leaving the town I’d been in for the past two years for work) and my choices seemed to be either to move in with my boyfriend or move back in with my parents. So I chose the grown-up decision and moved in with my boyfriend. Things were pretty good at first, but then I was feeling anxiety so went on my medication after a couple of months. I stayed on the medication from May 2010 until January this year. Now I’m worried that my initial feelings of anxiety about the relationship have come true and I’m feeling what I felt when I broke up with him almost four years ago. I’m worried that I’ve stayed in this relationship this whole time just because I felt that “no chemistry” or “I’m just not feeling it” wasn’t a good enough reason to call it quits. Now we’re about to try for a baby and I’m not sure what to do. I think after we have a baby, if I go back on my medication, then I’ll be really happy with our situation. I think if I leave him, then start taking medication again, I’ll regret my decision. I don’t know what to do! I wish I could just go back on the medication now and take it throughout pregnancy, but I know that’s not an option.
Post # 3
I have depression, occasional anxiety and a mood disorder. I was on medication pre pregnancy and I’m on medication now that I’m pregnant. Did you talk to your doc before going off your meds? When I told my doc I was thinking about maybe TTC she changed my antidepressant . Once I got pregnant my ob actually took me off of my sleeping pills and my mood stabilizer. I thought it would be hard but so far I’ve done pretty well. If you need to be on medication during your pregnancy your docs will find something that’s ok for you to take. In my opinion and take it for what it’s worth, it’s better to take the medication than put the added stress of how you are coping on your baby.
Post # 4
@scottishbride: I’m so sorry, I know how you feel. I haven’t been diagnosed with depression but I do have anxiety. Currently 13 weeks and pregnant and anxious over the fact that I am worried about taking medication. Seriously, who stresses out and gets anxious because they may get panicky and not be able to take medication? This girl 🙂
Our cases sound very similar though, when I am on medication I am able to make it through life easier and able to relax a bit. My OB informed me that I am on such a low dosage that she doesn’t see any issues with taking medication as needed but of course I question it because that’s what I do best…worry!
I had an appt today for something else and talked with a different Dr who showed a little more concern but said she would look into other options that may be safer for the baby. Is this an option for you? I just wonder if you have discussed this with a health care provider because there may be something else you can take. Both providers I have seen have also said that soemtimes the benefits from the medication outweigh the risks. When I am stressed out, I am stressing the baby out and that can be just as harmful.
It isn’t an easy place to be, I completely understand you and feel for you. To just be normal and give our babies the best environment possible…but we still can it may just be a little different than the next person.
Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk, you aren’t alone.
Post # 5
@scottishbride: You need to go back to your psychiatrist and tell them what you told us and talk it out with them. They understand the effects of the medication better than you because they are professionals. Good luck to you and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Depression and anxiety suck and anyone who’s experienced them or suffers from them knows how debilitating they can make you feel.
Post # 6
Thanks for your responses. I have discussed this with my doctor, but my last appointment with him was just after I stopped my medication, and I wasn’t experiencing any bad symptoms yet. I have another appointment with him next week and will discuss my issues further. I really really don’t want to have to take medication during pregnancy, but I’m open to that option if I’m on something that deemed safe for the baby. My doctor doesn’t think Lexapro is very safe.
Post # 7
Honey I’m so sorry. I suffer from major depression, too, and am currently in the process of dosing down in preparation for TTC. It’s scary, and I’ve been going through some tough emotional rides.
Do you love your husband? I mean truly deep down in your heart love him? Do you truly want children? I have a feeling your answers are yes. You can’t let the depression and anxiety take complete control. Unfortunately, if your doctor can’t find a safe medication to take during pregnancy, then you’re going to have to wrestle that control back. I’m not saying that it’s easy or something you can start doing right now, just sharing from my own experiences.
Are you in talk therapy as well as seeing someone for the meds? Is it the same doc? It might be a good idea to do weekly appointments. Maybe for the next couple of months, if you can afford it, you can even try going twice a week to help with the adjustment period. I’ve had to do that in the past when even my medication wasn’t helping me through certain times. ((Hugs)) Please feel free to message me any time if you need a shoulder or an ear.
Post # 8
Thank you for your message and support. I think you’re right. I think it’s the depression taking over and making me think this way. I know when I’m on medication I feel much better and happier in my life and with my husband. A few months ago I was so excited to start trying for a baby! Now I’m wondering if I even want to have children (even though I know deep down the answer is yes and it’s just the depression making me feel this way). When I speak to my doctor next week I will ask him about counsellors and also medication that may be safe during pregnancy.
Post # 9
Honestly, I think the biggest mistake that I made was going off of my medication when I was TTC/newly pregnant. I was completely miserable, irrational, moody and depressed (generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder).
I would get back on your meds, give them a few weeks to sink in again (or try a pregnancy-safe anti-depressant), and hold off on making any major life decisions until then.
Hope all goes well for you
Post # 10
I agree, see if you can try a pregnancy-approved antidepressant. I tried going off mine but couldn’t. My doctor wanted to keep me on it (celexa) since it was a lower dose and I did terribly off it! D: I’ve known many women who took it their entire pregnancies and it helped them a ton! I know I wouldn’t be the same person if I had to quit- depression can play dirty tricks on your body and baby’s health, too. For me it was one of those things that’s worth the tiny risk vs having the results of deep depression affect my baby during pregnancy. My doctor thought so too.
Post # 11
I have anxiety and depression and experienced the same thing but when I started the pill. I know with the bc i used there is a hormonal difference. I hated my partner when I was taking them, but now that I am off there is such a difference. Talk to your doctor about your meds because if not properly weened off they can cause more damage than you started with. Have you tried natural supplements for depression?