Post # 1
I’m not writing this to try to say “poor me”. I’m writing this wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
I just wanted to start off by saying I got post partum depression after my first pregnancy. I’ve never been diagnosed by a doctor for depression, partly because I feel like it’s something I can handle and partly because I’m embarrassed.
So here it goes.
In previous posts I have stated our struggles recently with our car, jobs, family, etc. Seems never ending I swear. Well today I was talking to my mom(step) whom struggles with depression and she asked me if I was okay. She said I sounded tired and worn out. I told her that I don’t know why it’s hard for me to get out of bed in the morning because I sleep close to 12 hours every night. No joke. 8:30-7:45 in the morning. I haven’t cared to eat latley but when I do..I devour food. I used to want to go out and see my friends but now I dread it. I cry on a dime and get pissed so easily. I mean for goodness sake, I picked DH up from the airport 2 days ago and I bawled because he didn’t give me a hug. Seriously, full on water works and temper tantrum. I’m jumpy lately. Ever since my car accident, I have panic attacks in the car and have to close my eyes when DH drives.
I thought this pregnancy would be a happy time in our lives. I love the little girl who is growing and kicking inside but I feel like I’m not ready at all for a newborn. I have anxiety attacks thinking we have nothing for her. We have a bassinet, crib with all the bells and whistles, changing table, clothes that could go on for miles, diapers, and a bath tub. I see all this stuff and still feel I’m not ready for this.
My mom asked me if I felt depressed. I didn’t know how to answer. I looked up depression during pregnancy and these were the symptoms.
- A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun anymore Yes
- Feeling blue, sad, or “empty” for most of the day, every day Yes
- It’s harder to concentrate Yes
- Extreme irritability or agitation or excessive crying Yes
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping all the time Yes
- Extreme or never-ending fatigue Yes
- A desire to eat all the time or not wanting to eat at all Yes
- Inappropriate guilt or feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness Yes
Anyone else deal with this? I don’t want to talk to anyone about it. I just want to hide in my little corner sleep,eat, and cry.
Post # 3
I am so sorry you are going through this. I don’t have experience from my own personal life, but my best friend suffers from depression. She suffered terribly while pregnant wtih her son and is on medication to relieve her panic attacks, etc.
Honestly, if you can, go for a consult with your doctor. Please don’t be embarassed – they see this every day and can help you feel better, and treat what is going on. I know it’s hard to do, but I think for your own sake, the sake of your baby & family, and the remainder of your pregnancy, it’s important that you do.
You deserve to be enjoying this time in your life, and know what’s going on. If you are depressed (and it sounds like you are, you’ve been through the ringer) there are lots of options for you to treat it and feel better.
I hope you can find the courage to speak to someone and get the help you need and deserve, you don’t need to suffer alone and I’m glad you reached out to us bee’s 🙂
Please keep us posted, and please – make an appt with your doctor and at least see what he/she thinks. 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@figgnewton: You’re not the only one, it actually has a name: antepartum depression. Do not be embarassed about depression; most people will experience depression at some point in their life. Now that you have identified it, it’s time to do something about it.
Here are some resources and support:
Post # 5
I am sorry you are going thru this. I suffer from anxiety so I know how debiliating it can be when you don’t feel like yourself. You should be proud of yourself for recognizing that something is wrong even if you are only posting it here on the bee. Talk to your step mom and mom and tell them you want help. Don’t be ashamed, depression is an illness. You can get help now and be in good shape by the time the new baby arrives.
Post # 6
Sorry you’re having a hard time. I just want to give you a big hug.
I suffer from depression (and anxiety) pre-pregnancy. I’m doing fairly well but I have my moments. My horrible skin has gotten me really depressed lately. I look like a freak and feel like everyone stares. I cry several times a week over it and feel like I’m going to look like a freak for the rest of my life (due to the scarring).
Post # 7
@StaceyA: I have my next check up in a week so I will ask then. Thank you for your kind words.
@beachbride1216: Loved the links! Thank you!
@OhBeeHive84: I always thought growing up that depression was just a state of mind. Meaning I could change it if I wanted. I’m going to talk to my doctor and my mom. Thank you!
@Lyndzo: Post partum depression was rough, but this time feels way worse. I’ve prayed that I will go into labor now so that this will all be over. That’s a bad thing to pray for. I feel guilty wishing I could have her now instead of wait but I feel like that’s the only thing that will help. We can cry together! lol My worst fear happened and I’m swollen. I feel like a hot air balloon.
Post # 8
I am definitely having my ups an downs durin this pregnancy. I have never struggled with depression in my life, and it has been very hard for me to be okay with the lows that I have been experiencing. I feel like it was a lot worse during my first trimester, but I’m still struggling during my second. I’m no stranger to depression, my DH has it and I have studied all about it because I have my degree in psychology. What is hard for me is that I feel like I should be able to fix it on my own.
Post # 9
@Cory_loves_this_girl: I’m right there with ya on feeling like I should be able to fix it on my own. I was always taught growing up it’s a state of mind and you can change it whenever you like. It’s not that easy though):
Post # 10
I am due with my third child any time now. I have struggled with depression and anxiety during each pregnancy and post partum. I also have a history of depression and anxiety. In the past six years though, I have been much better except while pregnant and for a few months after delivery.
I don’t do the meds/therapy route because it never worked for me growing up and I feel like it’s something I need to work out myself. I don’t have anything particularly helpful to say, but it’s more common than you think.
I’ve had a really rough pregnancy and have found myself really upset with gender disappointment, uninterested in naming/purchasing baby things, and disinterested in many other things I previously was. I’m just counting down the months… I figure I’ll be better by 3-6 months post partum.
Post # 11
@figgnewton: Well if it helps any, you don’t look swollen. Every time you post a picture I admire how awesome you look!
Post # 12
I’ve been lucky enough not to get pregnancy depression (yet), but I suffered from major depressive episodes for years.
It’s not your fault, you can’t “think yourself out of it” (and anyone who says you can is woefully ignorant of how severe major depressive episodes can be).
But you can get help, and there’s NO shame in getting help!