Depression, pain, and medications, husband disapproval

posted 3 weeks ago in Wellness
Post # 2
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

As a physician and a human, please let me tell you that your husband sounds like a terrible partner and medical professional. Divorce and an SNRI would probably do wonders for you!

Post # 4
Member
11140 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

selissal :  

OMG, Bee.  You have an empathy-free PA.

It’s horrifying that he treats innocent, unsuspecting patients.  

It’s not hard to see why you’re depressed and anxious.  Being married to such a dreadful human must be hell.  I hope you don’t have children with this guy.

Keep taking care of yourself, Bee.  Talk to your therapist, stay on the meds that are helping you.

The absolutely best thing you can possibly do for your physical and mental health is get the hell away from your husband.  Unfortunately, the medical profession is right at the upper edges of the list of jobs that attract the personality disordered.  Researchers can tally up yet one more.

Post # 5
Member
5108 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m so sorry to hear all this. Your husband has lost all empathy and compassion.  Anxiety and depression are very real and a herniated disk is very real and verifiable. It’s weird he doesn’t think it’s real when there’s an MRI.

Also not to be pedantic but he’s not a radiologist nor even an MD or orthopedic MD he has no business giving a medical opinion on an MRI. I wonder if he feels threatened because he’s not an actual MD. Yes his profession is honorable in it’s own right but MD it is not. 

He sounds like an awful medical professional as well. Unfortunately this is dealbreaker stuff for me. One xanax does not make an addict. I took it regularly for awhile for a period of time as needed. And did not get addicted. Yes people do but it’s also a very necessary drug for panic disorders.  I would hate to have him as my ER provider.  Yikes.  

 

Post # 6
Member
4619 posts
Honey bee

Your husband must be a wonderful PA. I’m sure his patients love him. I know that mine would be absolutely thrilled if I told them they were drug addicts because they take an SSRI or a tramadol when their arthritis flares up. And if they told me they were depressed, rather than question them further I know they’d really appreciate if I told them to stop complaining and just be grateful. 

And then there’s the real world.

Your husband sounds like an ass who has obviously never had to deal with pain, either psychic or somatic. I’d have him come along to your next doctor appt and have the MD explain to Mr Know-it-all why you need your medications.  But I will caution you about taking a benzodiazepine on top of other medications. There could be drug interactions or your friend might give you the wrong pill by mistake. Too many things can go wrong.

Post # 7
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

selissal :  I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful, but wow your husband sounds like such a dick.  It’s completely unconscionable that any husband would treat his wife this way, LET ALONE a medical professional.  He should have his license taken away for being that callous towards pain, chronic conditions, and mental illness.  You deserve way better.

Post # 8
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

selissal :  if only the former were that simple

What is preventing you from divorcing this emotionally abusive bully?  Divorce sucks.  Been there, done that.  Life after a divorce is AWESOME.  You owe it to your future self to explore how you can get away from this shitty abusive husband.

Post # 10
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

selissal :  Not to completely derail this thread: that’s a horrible way for your husband to treat anyone, and the fact that he’s a PA seems a bit scary to me.

Have you ever been to a chronic pain physical therapist? I’m not saying it works for everyone, but it’s a conversation you should have with your doctor. You never know if it’ll work unless you try! 

Post # 12
Member
6530 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Your husband sounds like such a jackass, OP, just terrible. His inability to recognize that his experience is his alone and not everyone’s, his lack of compassion and empathy (most people who are physically, emotionally or mentally healthy aren’t just looking for medications- there’s usually a reason for it). It’s all so bad.

If I were you, I would recommend that he read the book The Deepest Well by Dr. Nadine Burke-Harris. I think it should be required reading for anyone in medical, healing professions. Maybe he can pull his head out of his ass for a bit.

As for you, you need to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. If that means pain shots, therapy or divorce, then that’s what they mean. His behavior is completely out of line and if his work has negatively impacted him to this degree, maybe he needs to be thinking about other options for himself. He sounds like he must be a complete shit at work. He sounds like he’s such a shit at home.

I’m curious what he has said in response to you when you’ve pointed out that he’s being a shit? Does he get more aggressive or bullying? Does he back down? Does he just keep nagging at you? It sounds a bit like you have tried to hide some of these things to keep him from knowing about them, which makes sense if you are trying to avoid conflict with a jackass, but also looks like you think you are doing something wrong, too (and could give him a sense of righteousness about his position).

Post # 13
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

The best thing you can do for your mental health is get away from a bully like this.

 

Do you have family you can stay with while you finish school? I can’t even imagine having to live with someone so lacking in empathy (and medical knowledge, frankly) for that much longer.

Post # 15
Member
11140 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

sunburn :  

My doctor once had me on Celexa, Abilify, Wellbutrin, and Xanax all at the same time with zero interactions. Benzos and SSRIs seem to get along all right.

I have found that pharmacists can be a really good source of info about meds.

Also, at drugs.com, they have an interaction checker where you can put in the names of your meds and it will tell you if there is the possibility of an interaction and how severe.  Pretty useful.

 

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