(Closed) Designing my response cards….guests with children…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1916 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think it’s a little confusing.  Do you want them to use the RSVP card or RSVP online?  If you want them to visit your wedding website, I would put the information on a card that they are not mailing back to you. 

Also I wouldn’t list children as an option.  I think it leaves too much room for your guests to respond with children.  You should just address the invitation to the guests invited and let them indicate the number of guests attending.  Since you clearly indicate that they should list the names of the guests attending, then it should be obvious which ones were children.  You may want to include two lines for people to write their names out. 

Post # 4
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@FutureMrsClayshulte:  i wouldn’t use the adults/children breakdown.  keep it as # of guests.   it will be too confusing for those guests whose children are not invited.

clearly on your invitation envelope you will include the names of those guests whom you are inviting.  you will know whether or not they are adults or children.  if a child is on the cusp of child meal/adult meal, simply ask the parents how old the child is.  usually age 10 is the cutoff point.

Post # 5
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would leave out the children/adults thing. You should be able to tell if kids are attending based on the names written in the blank you provided.

Post # 7
4370 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@FutureMrsClayshulte:  My RSVP card asked for the names of those attending, and I did get a few back that just had “Decline” circled with no names (and apparently people don’t put return addresses on envelopes?).  We eventually figured out who they were by the postmarks and process of elimination, but it was an issue.

A tip I saw here (that I forgot to use!) was to write a number on the back of each card, so if you recieve a blank RSVP, you can check the number to figure out who it was.


Post # 8
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

So the way the card is written right now it almost reads as if you need to RSVP both via card and via the internet, instead of either or. Also, if your guest sends in their RSVP card, but then wants to check the website for info, they will no longer have the address because it was written on the card they sent to you. I know you sent them save the dates with the info on it, but I’m assuming that was a while ago and probably not everyone still has theirs. I’d maybe consider an extra insert (you can even make it a business card, they go for free all the time on Vista Print) that has the website and says something like “For more information, and the option to RSVP online instead, please visit http://www.weddingstuff.com” or something like that.

Post # 10
3267 posts
Sugar bee

This hasn’t yet be addressed, but I wanted to say that you can’t politely force guests to get a certain meal because of their age.

You provide it as an option to the guests for their benefit, but if a young guest wanted to get the steak, because they hated chicken fingers and fries, I don’t think you could force them.

(Well I guess you can, but it certainly wouldn’t be good hosting, or polite)

Post # 11
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@andielovesj:  I disagree. If they are a child, I think they need to have a children’s meal. Anything over age 10 and I’d agree with you-they should choose.

I fail to see how “forcing” a 4 year old to eat chicken nuggets could be considered rude

Post # 13
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@MissFireFlower:  Would it be polite to have all guests over the age of 75 be forced to eat a pureed meal?  Of course not. 

Just because your guests are younger, doesn’t mean that you can force them to eat something they do not like or want.

It is an option for parents, whose children would prefer to eat chicken nuggets (and there are loads of kids who would prefer that), but there are also kids who don’t eat processed crap, and who woudln’t like fries.


Post # 14
1696 posts
Bumble bee

Speaking entirely as a member of that grand-parent generation who are always being  labelled as  so computer-illiterate; since you are printing them yourself, why not learn how to do a mail-mere with your guest-list spreadsheet or (better) format the cards as a report out of your guestlist database, and send the cards with the names already printed?

Then on the invitation proper in the lower left corner, in small print write



Thus the website address will be on the card that your guests retain and will be associated by proximity with the R.s.v.p. I do not think you need to worry about people thinking they need to reply twice, given how much trouble brides on this board have convincing their guests to reply even once.

And do not worry about us stuffy oldster manners-types. We are just going to throw out your r.s.v.p. card, ignore your website, and reply properly on our own stationery.

The topic ‘Designing my response cards….guests with children…’ is closed to new replies.

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