(Closed) Desparately need advice…. please help!

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Advice on how to tell your fiance or advice on how to be happy with what you have?

Post # 4
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Honestly it shouldnt matter how big or small your ring is, its simply just what the ring represents. Although if you wont be hapy with what you have Kays always has a trade up program, so if you trade in the ring that you have, you have to spend at least double that amount, but then you only pay the difference, you get a credit for what the ring originally cost before tax. Be honest with him if you feel like you need a bigger one for whatever reason, honesty is teh best policy. 

Post # 5
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

You could upgrade later for an anniversary. Or if you don’t want to wait and your bf is OK with it, pay for it yourself.

Post # 6
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I’m wondering, since he “was only able to afford a medium grade 1/4 carat from Kay’s” how you think he can afford a larger diamond? Has his financial situation improved since he bought your ring?

If not, maybe you should think about an upgrade at a later date when finances improve, but please don’t pressure him to get you a ring he can’t afford right now. You’re only going to make him feel bad if he can’t get you something that he feels is important to you. He’s going to sense that you are ashamed of your ring–something he gave you that probably has more meaning than any other gift he’s ever given anyone. Do you really want to do that to the man you love?

Don’t worry about what others think. Wear that ring proudly. If anyone is so rude as to say something disparaging about your ring, look down your nose at them and say something like “I’m sorry it’s not right for you, because it’s perfect for me. It’s really a good thing I’m wearing it and not you, isn’t it? ” They can’t reply to that, now, can they?

Others can only make you feel bad if you let them.

 

Post # 7
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Man, I hope no one would make fun of a girl for wearing a ring that her fiance worked hard to get for her. If anyone does, promptly remove them from your life. Don’t worry about cruel or jealous people’s unwanted opinions. You have a man who loves you, and the ring – no matter how big or small – is a symbol of that. Personally, I think having a smaller diamond will be nice for us, one day we’ll look back and see how far we’ve come together and how successful we’ve been (hopefully). I don’t care how small someone’s diamond is, every woman should be proud of their ring.

If it’s a matter of personal taste and your fiance wants input, suggest a ring with a smaller center stone with a halo of tiny stones around it, I also know Kay has a ring that’s got 4 small diamonds placed in a square together to look like one larger princess cut, and it’s also surrounded by a halo. There’s always the option of a non-diamond center stone.

Just work with him, let him know how much you appreciate that he wants to get you a ring but that there’s no reason why you have to adhere to the traditional diamond engagement ring, unless that’s very important to you.

Post # 8
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A ring is a symbol of love and a promise of a future together. Too many people put too much emphasis on the ring. I would have said yes if he had proposed to me with a rubber band!!

I have a .50 carat princess cut solitaire and no, it isn’t the biggest, and yes, my friends and cousins have bigger ones but it’s a stunning diamond and he picked it out all by himself and thought it would be perfect for me. And it is. I love it because he loved me enough to get it for me. I would have loved it just as much if it was a plain gold band or a 7 carat diamond. That doesn’t matter to me. What matters is the love he has for me and the excitment of knowing we have out whole lives together. If you’re worried about what other people think about it, you’re being silly. Love what he gets your because regardless of what kind if ring it is, it comes from the heart so that makes is prefect.

Post # 9
Member
764 posts
Busy bee

You say boyfriend, as if you aren’t engaged yet. Have you ever considered looking online? Kays has quite a mark up and you might find something more your taste on Amazon or overstock.com or even through pricescope.com. OR have you looked into moissanite?

Post # 10
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

From a girl who has upgraded her ring just be honest… (I still have my old ring and wear it on a chain sometimes) I ended up getting a moissantie (because they are so pretty and sparkly) Fi didnt like my ring either so you never know… I thought he would be hurt but he didnt care at all!

Post # 11
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If he cannot afford larger right now, you need to decide what you want more, to be engaged sooner, or to have a bigger stone in your ring.

You also need to consider WHY you have gone from being ok with this to freaking out about wanting larger.

Oh, and WHY would anyone ever make fun of your e-ring?

 

 

Post # 12
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

You have to decide which is more important to you–getting engaged as soon as you can or getting the ring you want.  

I do want to interject that most chain stores are total ripoffs–if you want the most bang for your buck you should look into a locally operated jeweler or a reputable online dealer like bluenile.

If you want to get engaged now you still have options.  You can discuss upgrading later, you can look into other stones besides diamonds (which are marked up way more than they are worth imo), you can look into other stones and then upgrade that later.  Moissanite and Asha are both terrific diamond looking alternatives that are eco friendly(mining is terrible for the environment) and you’ll know that no little kids got their fingers cut off to bring that stone to you.  Since they are less expensive, you can get the size and setting you like and not pay a zillion dollars for it.  You can get a 1 ct solitaire for under $800 on moissaniteco.com.  You can change it out to a diamond later when you can afford it if you want to.

If getting the diamond ring you want is more important, then talk to your bf about waiting longer.  It’s not like he’s going anywhere.

For me–I don’t want to upgrade and I would rather get engaged sooner rather than later.  I also am an extremely responsible purchaser and would never get a diamond (or any other stone) that was not conflict free and mined in an eco friendly way unless it was an antique.  Since we can’t afford to accomodate my taste and sense of responsibility for preserving the world we live in–we went for moissanite. The ring is being made at our local jewelers. It’s what we can afford and it’s exactly my taste and it should be done in a month.

Post # 14
Member
11394 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My ring is 1/5th carat. & My wedding band has diamond’s in it. They look lovely together if you ask me. 🙂 No one makes fun of my ring, at all. I don’t think its to small, I picked it over a .50 carat diamond solitaire. Someone some where will have something bad to say about any ring. Its to big, its to small, its not real, its ugly. They don’t have to wear it, you do so get what you want & don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. 🙂 If you want to later on down the road you can always upgrade & turn your ring into a necklace or give it to one of your future children if you want kids. 🙂

Here are my rings:

& Pictures on my hand, I really need new ones. This are crappy. lol I wear a size 7. Different shapes will appear different on different hands also.

 

Post # 15
Member
4418 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Can we see a picture of your ring? I’m sure it’s beautiful, and I can’t imagine anyone making fun of your ring.

This summer I met a dear friend’s fiancee. Because I had seen pictures of the proposal, I immediately asked to see her ring. Her diamond was much smaller than the diamond in my ring, but my friend is in a different financial situation than we are, so he had bought her a beautiful ring that he could afford–and it was beautiful and I told her it was beautiful. 

There was nothing to make fun of or any reason to comment on the size, because she had a beautiful ring. And my friend was obviously very proud of his fiancee and the ring he had chosen.

It never occured to me to say anything negative about her ring, because I was so happy for the two of them. You’ll probably experience the same thing, that people will be so happy for you that they’ll only say nice things. 

 

Post # 16
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It really doesn’t matter what your ring looks like SOMEONE is going to snark about it behind your back… that’s just how it is.  Too small, too big, gemstone instead of diamond, rose gold instead of white… Look at Kim Kardashian… biggest ring I’ve ever seen, and people make fun of it.  Just pick what you love, and can afford, and focus on your happy marriage.

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