(Closed) Desperately needing advice

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
8435 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Augbride47:  Not sure what advice you’re seeking.  It seems like you see things pretty clearly, you just have to decide if this is something you want or not.

Post # 4
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Augbride47:  I would tread very carefully. He sounds really immature and possibly not ready for marriage. Does he not get that marriage is a partnership with joint finances??

You need to do a budget and sit down with him. Explain to him how much things cost and how he needs to contribute etc. If he isn’t even willing to do that, it’s a huge red flag IMO.

After my last relationship I will simply not put up with financial mismanagement. Think long and hard before you marry this guy. A lot of marriages end due to financial problems (including my own parents’ marriage).

All is not lost, though. Obviously we don’t have a lot to go on by reading this one post. If he’s a hard worker and saving is important to him (and he doesn’t just spend all the income he makes), then maybe he just needs a push in the right direction. If he loves to spend and glosses over real life expenses, then you might want to run.

Post # 5
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s totally fair and reasonable to want to know what the other person would be contributing financially to the relationship after marriage.  Finances is definatly something you should try to sort out BEFORE you get married.  


Good luck

Post # 6
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
@Starshine32:  +1


You took the words right out of my mouth! 🙂

Post # 7
1074 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds to me like he may be trying to cover up debt he and his brother share, or he feels insecure that you will likely be the breadwinner of the house. It may be hard for him to admit but I think laying your financial cards out on the table before marriage is crucial! 

Post # 8
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Time to postpone the wedding. So many issues here: Cultural and financial. This may be showing you that you dont view money the same way.

Post # 10
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply

Marriage does not make problems go away it just magnifies them…I think you two definitely need to be on the same page with this issue BEFORE getting married.

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