Post # 1
I’m Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friend’s upcoming June wedding. I’m in the process of planning her bridal shower and the guest list has recently doubled (from 25 to 50) and the bride and her mother don’t feel comfortable making any further cuts. Not a huge problem, but because I am hosting by myself, I am trying to make a few changes to keep things affordable.
Originally I was planning on hosting a brunch at my house for everyone, but now I’m leaning more towards a dessert party in the afternoon (probably with wine & cheese, as well…). I was wondering if it would be acceptable to ask everyone to bring a dessert to share (along with the recipe… kind of like a recipe exchange potluck!) Obviously I would still provide some desserts, as well as any other food/beverages, etc. I guess I’m just not too familiar with the etiquette for this sort of thing… Is it tacky to ask them to bring something since technically I’m the one hosting? Help me out, hive!
Thanks in advance for any/all help!
Post # 3
I would only ask Bridesmaids to bring something….not any of the guests.
Post # 4
Hmm… I’m with futureMrs.L, I don’t think guests should be expected to bring food to a shower. If you want to cut costs, I’d skip the wine and cheese, and just do desserts, punch, and iced tea and water.
Post # 5
In this case I’d maybe just ask a few key guests to bring a potluck dish vs. including the request on the invitation. Close friends, maybe her mother and an aunt/cousin or two who wouldn’t mind. I haven’t seen this done before, but a dessert party with wine sounds fun!
Post # 6
If I’m invited to a party or wedding where I’m expected to bring a gift, I do NOT expect to provide food for people.
Post # 7
My best friend did this at her shower and while the food was fantastic – it was tough to put my outfit together, get the gift together, drive an hour AND prepare/bring a dish with me.
I love her, so I’d do it 1000 times over – but I also wish I could’ve ditched the recipe idea and picked up a dish at Whole Foods, lol 😉
Post # 8
We normally do something similar. The Bridesmaid or Best Man and their mom’s (which are normally the bride’s aunts or mom) make something too, except we don’t bring the reciepe and we have soup, salad sandwiches, dessert…. We each split up what is brought like invites, paper products, favors, someone buys the gift (but we all put in), drinks, cake, and we all bring a dish.Then we all stay and clean up the person’s house after, even the bride (mom, whoever). It is just how we do it, don’t leave the person’s house dirty.
We normally have about the same amount of people you are talking about.
Like the previous person said, the reciepe thing may not be good for everyone. So the option of just buying something is good too.Like my we bought cannoli’s for my sister’s shower. There is NO WAY that was going to be made.
Post # 9
Aren’t cake, cookie and brownie mixes relatively inexpensive?
Post # 10
Thanks everyone! Yeah, I wasn’t really feeling comfortable about asking the guests to all bring something, but someone had suggested it so I thought I’d ask. I appreciate the help!
@RoundtreeBee: Thanks for the advice… Her mom’s calling me this week, so I think I’ll talk it over with her and some of the bridesmaids and maybe get some help there!
@Klb5882: Thanks for sharing! Some store bought stuff might just be the way to go!… and I loveeee cannoli!
Post # 11
i think the only way to do it is to only ask bridesmaids, moms, aunts, very close friends, etc. to bring something — not everyone.
can you get the other bridesmaids to chip in on some of the costs?