Post # 1
Hey Guys, i was recently invited to be a bridesmaid in a wedding party. I thought it was nice to be asked. However, I just got an invite to the bachelorette party which the matron of honor decided after talking to the bride that the bride wanted to do a 3 day bahammas cruise. We were told it would be around $400-$500 a piece AND we were expected to each put in 100$ for the bride taboot!! The matron added in the email that if we can’t make it she would still like us to contribute the 100$ for the brides room, excursions, tips, & spending money on board? This is the first wedding i’ve ever been invited to be a part of… wedding party wise.. this seems a bit over the top?? There are only 3 bridesmaids.. and we never got to make any suggestions at all about the party. Also.. I mean we have to pay for the shower gifts, the dresses, etc.. this is becoming a bit crazy. What do i do????? Also.. the bride I have not seen in 14 years since high school.. we’ve talked around 3 times since then on the phone.. I was surprised to honestly have been invited to be a part of the events. Please Help!
Post # 19
That’s just weird. For my bachelorette party, the girls and I went up to Austin and got a condo on 6th Street, and it was still only $95 apiece for the condo for six people. Drinks and everything were more, but I didn’t expect them to pay for mine or anything like that. Only three of the bridesmaids (of five) were able to make it, and that was perfectly fine with me. I don’t want anyone going into debt over my wedding.
Post # 20
@sandydee79: I’m not sure what demographic she’s from, in certain circles this would be accepted without batting an eye, but in many this would be exgravagent.
I’m not sure why you accepted an offer to be a bridesmaid for someone you haven’t seen in many years and aren’t particularly close to though….
I would bow out from the whole thing if I were you–it sounds like they are expecting a level of commitment that you aren’t willing to give–not that I blame you, I would feel the same way–I would only spend that if it was a very close friend or a family member
Post # 21
I agree that these types of expectations for a bridesmaid are completely unreasonable.
To me, an Maid/Matron of Honor or bridesmaid commits to purchasing her own dress (and possibly shoes), attending the rehearsal, and helping the bride on the day of the wedding. If feasible, the Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaids should host some type of shower for the bride, but it need not be an expensive one. As for a bachelorette party, I did not have one, but, if I had, I would have wanted to go out for a nice dinner with my girlfriends and maybe go back to someone’s house afterward to hang out and talk or watch a movie. It’s one thing if some friends choose to take the bride on a cruise. However, it should not ever be expected that committing to be in someone’s wedding would involve these types of additional, grandiose expenditures.
Post # 22
It’s completely unreasonable for the Maid/Matron of Honor to expect you to fork over $500+ for a trip you were not informed of or agreed to. I agree with pp’s who said to rsvp “no” and send only what you feel comfortable for the bride’s shower “gift,” if you send anything at all!
Post # 23
I might be in the minority here but here, the bride does not pay for the bachelorette party. At all. It doesn’t matter if it’s in town just drinks and dancing or out of town weekend, everyone chips in for her.
a) It’s not right that you can’t afford to go and you are still expected to pay for her. If you aren’t going, you don’t chip in.
b) Everyone who’s going chips in for the bride. Not just the bridesmaids! Every lady gives a little bit.
That’s how it works in my circle.
Post # 24
I agree that the bride should not pay for anything for the bachelorette, but I think its really unreasonable to just announce the bachelorette party plans without consulting with the wedding party. discussing budgets etc.
Anyways, glad that you backed out of the wedding party. Sounds like the best option.