(Closed) Destination Bachelorette – what are we responsible for? Please help!

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I definitely think she should pay her own flight – absolutely.

Are you planning to have more girls then just the BMs? if so, with all of you splitting the lodging, that might cut down on the cost. You may want to look into a group house/time share option. This way you can also cook meals at home instead of eating every meal out same goes for drinking.

Post # 4
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Yikes… your friend is the one who sounds selfish to me.  First of all, to answer your direct question: yes, she should pay her own travel and lodging costs.  I would never expect my friends to pay for a flight or hotel room for me.  But I’d also like to ask if you have checked with ALL the bridesmaids to see if they can afford that kind of dough.  I know I couldn’t have done that when I was an undergrad.  I think your friend needs to be sensitive to everyone’s situation.  Your idea to offer up your family’s beach house was a perfect compromise.  She is being extremely inflexible and if it were me I would just tell her sorry, but I can’t make that happen.

Post # 5
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with the PPs, she should definitely pay her own travel expenses.  Maybe the five of you can take her out to dinner one night, or pay for her drinks for a night on the town.  I would never expect my friends to treat me to a weekend getaway, let alone one that I insisted on.  

Post # 6
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would talk to her about it.  And yes, maybe she should pay for her own flight if she’s not willing to compromise on the location.  

I helped plan a destination bachelorette in a popular and expensive beach town and we were able to keep the costs down (though I would say all in, I spent around $500 for the weekend and we didn’t fly anywhere).   Are you inviting more people?  I think there was around 12 people at the bach.  We booked well in advance and had four girls in each room, some girls were able to add a fifth person in a cot.  We didn’t spend much time in the rooms anyway, and it was fun!  

Post # 7
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

For my recent bachelorette party, we also went destination and it was over 4th of July weekend (which truely sounds like a good option for you guys since the BMs are all scattered across the country – even local for the bride would be destination for most).  Me and my girls were the same way (scattered) and not everyone was able to attend due to flight costs, but there ws no where we could hold it where the vast majority wouldn’t have to travel.  The holiday weekend gave us the extra time to do that travelling without having to take vacation days from work.

I absolutely 100% expected to pay for my own flight (and did so).  We used my parent’s vacation/retirement home in S. GA near the beach so lodging was free.  All other things that weekend though were split between my BMs (food, drinks, entertainment, etc).  Outside of their travel, it came out to about $40 per girl for both their personal expenses and their share of mine.

I think the beach house you mentioned would put you all in a very similar situation.  Beside, the bride absolutely should not be planning her own bachelorette so you can get her input on things but she doesn’t get the final say.  You are planning it and if she is going to complain about a weekend at a beach house, she’s going to come accross as very ungrateful.

Post # 8
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree that travel and even lodging should be the bride’s responsibility if she really wants a destination party. The bridal party is traditionally responsible for the evening of, ie. food, drinks etc.. but getting yourself there is a totally different ball game especially if it’s at the bride’s request.

Post # 10
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i planned a bach party in vegas a couple years ago.  we paid for the brides airfare and hotel.  divided by 5, it only came out to about an extra $75-$100 per person.  we didnt throw her a shower, so it wasnt really a big deal.

Post # 11
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it’s totally acceptable for her to pay her own way – but I think you need to be up front with her about the cost ahead of time, so she isn’t unpleasantly surprised after the fact.

Post # 12
35 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m also thinking about having a destination bachelorette party in Las Vegas.  Most of my Bridesmaid or Best Man live in the same city so we can travel together but I do have one who lives in a different province.  I have 7 Bridesmaid or Best Man.  We all got together and discussed what we wanted to do and majority said they wanted to go to Las Vegas.  Other ladies who are not in my bridal party might come as well.  Usually if we can get them cheap around $400-$500 we are all willing to go.  I always expected that I will be paying for my own flight and accomadation.  I’m just grateful that my Bridesmaid or Best Man are willing to travel so far for me just to celebrate for a couple of days.  I’m just taking this as a trip to party with my girlfriends and I didn’t even take into account that they would pay anything for me.  I think if she expects you to go, she should pay for her own expenses unless everyone in her bridal party gets together and volunteers to pay some of her costs.  Goodluck!!

Post # 13
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

She should absolutely pay for her own airfare & her share of the hotel room.

As another thought, have you all thought of going to Mexico? Particulary CanCun or Rivera, tickets to Mexico are often even cheaper then staying in the US (ESP vs. somewhere like Miami, ouch!) and you could prob find a great deal for an all inclusive hotel too. For example, I was looking at tickets the other day (I live in Dallas however) and for airfare, hotel, and all inclusive package for all our the food and drinks you could ever want at the hotel for 3 days was like $350 per person!

The topic ‘Destination Bachelorette – what are we responsible for? Please help!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors