- 8 years ago
Hi all! My best friend is getting married next June and she’s asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor. I have been a bridesmaid before, but this is my first time being the Maid/Matron of Honor and I am so honored and excited!
I’m in need of some advice though, as I haven’t been able to find anything online that seems to fit our situation… In previous weddings I have been in, and/or other bachelorette parties, they have all been local, so I am very new at this “destination bachelorette” concept. I’d love ya’lls input! Here’s some background info:
My BFF is having 5BMs (including me) in her wedding party. We are all scattered across the US and in completely different places in our lives (some working, some in professional/grad school, some still in undergrad, etc.)… which is making this whole planning thing a nightmare, but that’s beside the point. BFF has stated that she wants to go somewhere new for her Bachelorette, and refuses to stay anywhere close to where we live, though it’s a very popular, fun metropolitan area.
Though it sounds like a blast, I can’t help but worry about the cost. With the places she wants to go, it’s going to end up being a long weekend, and we’re planning on doing this over Memorial Day weekend (so holiday prices!). I am so happy for her and so excited, I know wherever we go we will have the time of our lives; I just think it’s a little much to be asking of all of your bridesmaids, knowing their life/financial situations. On top of all this, BFF loves the beach so all the locations we’re looking at are beachy, but also popular destinations. Trying to compromise, I offered up my family’s beach house, but she’s been there before and shot this idea down. At this point, she’s narrowed down the locations to Charleston or Miami, both of which are a plane ride away and fairly expensive for lodging, especially for a Holiday Weekend. Myself and another bridesmaid have said that we’d be happy to pay $500 for the weekend, but we don’t really want to exceed that. (With flights and lodging for those two destinations, we’re already looking at $400 just for ourselves).
So the point of all this was to see if I’m wrong in thinking that BFF should pay her own way (transportation particularly, but possible lodging too). We’re obviously more than happy to pay for food/drinks/entertainment/etc, but I also think that budgeting $500 is pretty generous in the first place. And it is her idea (which isn’t very flexible) to go out of the area…
I want her to have the Bachelorette Party she wants, and I don’t want to disappoint her, but I can’t help but feel it’s a lot to ask of us (the BMs and other attendees). Be honest, bees… Am I being selfish and do I just need to suck it up? If you agree with me, what do you think I should do? Is there a polite/non-awkward way to approach this subject (she knows that while those of us who have jobs do have an income, we also don’t have superfluous amounts of money laying around)? Help!