(Closed) Destination Bachelorette….are guess expected to pay brides way?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m sure people will disagree with me, but I don’t think you should have to pay for the bride in that scenario.  Unless there are like 30 people going and you all only have to pay like $20 or somewhere around there to cover the bride.  Otherwise I think it is too much to expect of the guests.  Just pay for some of the bride’s food and drinks when you are there and I think that should be enough.

Post # 4
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

Errrrr, I also could be wrong, but I tend to agree with amariem25… Never been to a destination bachelorette party, but I’ve never been asked to pitch in for the bride’s expenses unless I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Do you know how much you are expected to contribute? Maybe you can tell the BMs that you are spending a lot on flight/hotel and that you will contribute in another way… I second buying her a few drinks or something… That should be enough!!

Post # 5
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I just came for a destination bachelorette for my BFF.  We went to NAPA VALLEY and we’re all from the east coast.  The Maid/Matron of Honor and I paid for her flight and split the room costs with the other BMs.  We didn’t expect the other girls to help pay for the bride.  If they wanted to pay for food or drinks that was fine, but it wasn’t expected by the other non bridal party girls.

In, my opinion I don’t think you have too.  But the offer of maybe buying her drinks on a night out would be fine.  I’m sure the bride will just be glad you made it!

Post # 6
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are doing the vegas thing for my bachelorette party, and my Maid/Matron of Honor said originally that i wasnt going to pay for anything, but i vetoed that idea!! the girls are all spending money to come party with me for a weekend, i think that is enough!!  you shouldnt have to pay for her, IMO. if the bridal party wants to pay that makes sense, but you are just a guest!

Post # 7
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My friends are planning a destination bachelorette party for me this spring and I’m pretty sure I’m paying my own way, which I totally expect.  If they part for part of the festivites while I’m there I’ll be thrilled, but I think the bride should pay her own way there.

Post # 8
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2009

your bridesmaids should pay your way!!!

Post # 9
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Sounds like some bridesmaids are making it a bit more complicated for guests… I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to ask a guest to foot the bill for a party, destination or not.

Post # 10
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it depends on who planned it.  If the brides says, “I want to go to Vegas” I don’t think it’s fair for her to expect anyone else to cover her costs, unless it was talked about before hand w/ her BM’s that she could pick what she wanted to do, and they would pay…

But, if the BM’s are surprising the bride with a weekend get-away, then I would think it’s the BM’s responsibility to cover costs for the bride.  But I wouldn’t think other guests who were not in the bridal party should have to pay for travel and hotel for the bride.  I agree with everyone else in saying that you might be expected to chip in here or there for some drinks or a dinner for the bride, but not travel expenses. 

Post # 11
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t think that you should have to pay for her. As a guest you shouldn’t be expected to pay for anything. I feel that when someone hosts a party they should be responsible.

Post # 12
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

I personally think its a little much asking your Bridesmaid or Best Man to be paying for a destination bechelorette party!! I undersand paying for the bachelorette party that is local. The last wedding i was in i paid for her dick veil, crown, sash, a huge blow up dick to carry around and a few other things and that alone was plenty expensive!! I agree on paying for drinks and food but asking to pay for a destination bachelorette party is rediculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats just rude to even assume to have your Bridesmaid or Best Man pay for a destination bachelorette party, especially when they have to pay for themselves. If she wants a bachelorette party and wants you to pay then maybe she should make it affordable for everybody. That is  the most stupid and ridiculouse thing i’ve ever heard. I would be pissed if someone expected me to pay all that money for a bachelorette party. Honest to god who says that you want to go to vegas for your bachelorette party and then expects your Bridesmaid or Best Man to fork out the cash for themselves plus the bride!! Who does that??? I understand if its the Bridesmaid or Best Man decision but i think its horrible if the bride is saying she wants to go to vegas for her bachelorette party and expects for everyone to just pay her way all along. If i were you i wouldn’t fork out anything except for buying her some drinks or maybe a meal, but your not even in the wedding so why would you pay her way to vegas??

Post # 13
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I have been on one destination bach party and we all split the cost of the hotel rooms which included the brides portion.  We drove to New Orleans and rented 3 SUVs to go so we split the cost of the rental and gas. 

Needless to say it ended up being a $500 weekend by the time we paid for entertainment, food, lodge, travel and lingerie gift.  I was just a guest not a bridesmaid.

Had I had to do it all over I probably won’t have gone because it was just a little too much to dictate what we spent, where we ate and partied etc. 

So I think if I were you I would find out how much you are going to contribute and then make a decision.

Post # 14
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am having a destination bachelorette party and I would never expect anyone to pay my way but me! I would hope all brides feel the same way.

Post # 15
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

i went to miami for a destination bachelorette party… all the girls that went (BM or not) chipped in and treated her for one night that we went out to a club and got bottle service. She paid for her share of the hotel and her sisters (both MOH) split her flight as a gift. That was it and I was fine with that.. I would have bought her a few drinks anyway so it was fine to split our main night out.      

I am trying to decide where I want my bachelorette party and I would NEVER expect anyone to spend a dollar on me… especially if im the one who’s like “cmon girls, lets go to vegas!!”

Post # 16
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am having a cruise bachelorette and the girls are splitting my cost of the cruise which came out to an extra $40 bucks per girl… did I ask them to? No, they decided to and so for a thank you I am getting each girl a little treat bag for the cruise and I am sure I will buy a few rounds of drinks for them. i am also paying for any drinks or tips or games for myself.

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