Post # 1
My Fiance and I live in PA but are having a destination wedding in FL. We are inviting 200 guests, not expecting most to come. When we decided to have a Destination Wedding we asked our siblings and parents if they would come before We finalized plans.
My dilemma: we are in our mid 30s and just bought our first home. Is it tacky to register for gifts, knowing that guests will be spending money to travel? My sister/MOH is planning my shower, and I’m a little uncomfortable with shower guests having to buy ANOTHER gift.
Advice/thoughts? I’d love to write “no gifts” on the shower invite but doubt my mom will be OK with that…
Post # 3
I didn’t register, but it wasn’t because I had a Destination Wedding. I just didn’t want so much stuff! lol
Post # 4
We didnt register anywhere for gifts and we never mentioned anything about gifts/no gifts. We invited 150 guests and 70 confirmed, when we were saying “we hope to at least have 50”. Destination weddings are expensive for guests and just the fact that they will attend to celebrate with you is more than enough. They’re giving you so much time and effort plus the plane tickets and hotel fees. I think it’s just right not to expect any other gift anymore other than their presence.
Post # 5
If I was coming, or if I was not coming but wanted to send you a gift, I’d appreciate a registry…I’d send you a check if you didn’t have one, but I prefer to give gifts, especially gifts that I know people can use. I love registries when people have destination weddings, because I probably won’t go to your wedding in FL unless I’m really close to you and a registry allows me to send a gift to your door!
Maybe you could have one and your mom can judge who to tell about it because she’ll know who would want that information and who wouldn’t?
ETA: plus registry=no bulky present in my car, no risking the wedding gift getting lost on the flight, no running around an area I’m unfamiliar with the hour before the wedding trying to find a store that sells gifts that would be appropriate for a wedding.
Post # 6
we just went ahead and did one. People will still want to get you gifts and it’s there if anyone wants to use it. We don’t really NEED anything though and if people chose to get us something, I’d prefer a check, but anything we do get is icing on the cake for us
Post # 7
Technically we aren’t having a destination wedding but the majority of our guestlist is from out of town. We aren’t registering. I do think if you and the majority of your guest are from that area even if the destination is domestic that perhaps you shouldn’t.
Post # 8
We had a destination wedding in New Orleans and did not register. We put a note on our website that we sincerely preferred not to receive gifts over and above the gift of our guests’ presence (or their good wishes if unable to attend). We still got a few physical gifts, some checks/cash and some gift certificates. But I would not have been comfortable registering. I know it makes it easier for those who insist on getting you a gift; I just didn’t want to send mixed messages by requesting no gifts and then registering, and people already spent way more than enough just attending our wedding (which really was the best gift).
Post # 9
The first time I got married I had a destination wedding in Jamaica.. I registered because we had a formal engagement party and people were asking about gifts, as well as two showers and a reception when we got home.
I don’t know if this wedding would even be considered a destination wedding. We live in Calgary, getting married in Banff. Either way, we won’t be registering.
As a guest, I always prefer it when the couple registers so I know exactly what they want. And, even if it’s a destination wedding I always want to get a gift.
Post # 10
We’re doing a Destination Wedding and didn’t register, but that’s because we dont need anything.
Post # 11
We are having a destination and I plan on registering but only for my shower that my mom is throwing not for the wedding. We plan to write something on our wedding website that states there presence is enough no presents needed or something like that. People are already spending a bunch of money and taking time of of work to come to our wedding so a present is not needed.
Post # 12
Post # 13
I would definitely register for a few items. Otherwise, people who want to give you gifts will feel they either have to give you a check (or worse… they might think you are phishing for money!) or worry that they are buying you something that you don’t need/want/like.
I’ve been to dozens of DWs (yeah, I’m 30 so I’m old, lol!) and I ALWAYS buy a gift for the couple. I like the idea of helping out a new couple, no matter their age or station in life. In the case of a Destination Wedding I can’t attend, I often will send an even more expensive gift!
Post # 14
I don’t plan on registering. I have a feeling my family will push me to register for my shower though.
Post # 15
We definitely registered because so many of our invitees won’t be able to attend the wedding. We don’t expect our Destination Wedding guests to buy us gifts but we know they will anyway (because they are our closest friends & family). It’s also helpful to have it if you’re having a shower. I don’t think it’s tacky or crazy; people don’t have to buy you anything!
Post # 16
We did two small registeries. One at Bed, Bath and Beyond and the other at REI(we love outdoorsy stuff). We got gifts from both for our wedding. Some brought it to the wedding(even though it was a DW in Florida). Others had it shipped to us and arrived right after we got back. We told our friends and familes that their presence was gift enough, but we knew there would be guests that would get us gifts anyway. Many asked us where we were registered before we even had registered.
I didn’t have any showers though before my wedding.