(Closed) Destination frusteration

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 18
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

this was something i also struggled with.  i was looking at a 500+ person wedding in either san diego or denver.  the thought made me ill.  I give props to my sister in law because she didn’t faint when my mom handed my brother a guest list of 598.  she handles stress so well or at least she doesn’t let others see her stressed.  

we decided to have a semi destination wedding in vegas.  our reasons? it’s reasonably priced (many of family and friends get comp’d) it’s only a few hours drive from san diego.  (i actually drove a rental SUV one way to vegas from denver.) there’s a ton for everyone to do so i didn’t feel like i had to entertain everyone every moment during the weekend.  and i think it’s kinda cool we had a non-vegas wedding in vegas.

i ended up with a wedding about a fifth the size of what i had orignally planned for but I was able to throw a kick ass party with amazing food and free flowing booze.  i learned that despite the distance and the costs, the important people will find a way to make it to your wedding if they feel you’re important enough. there will be people who cannot make it.  you have to be okay with it and have a good time despite it all.  don’t dwell.  do what you want to do.  it’s nice that you are being considerate and thoughtful.

Post # 20
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper

@mrschristmas:  I also live in Toronto πŸ™‚ we are having a destination wedding in Cuba in less than a month. Each guest paid about $1200 per person for a 7 day stay at an all inclusive resort. We got an amazing group rate and also the time of year you choose to travel makes a big difference in price. I also think $2500 is alot to ask people to pay no matter how long of an advance notice you give them. We have about 65 guests coming which is alot for a destination wedding but in the end it will be alot cheaper then the cost of a wedding here!

Post # 21
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrschristmas:  I don’t know if this is something you would consider, but I’m from Michigan and we are having a destination wedding in Florida. I knew that with airfair and resorts, etc. My family would have been upset and unable to go. But this way, they can drive if they want to since not another country. We are getting married on the beach and its not an all inclusive area, but there are so many rental houses and/or hotels, depending where you are looking into. Our families are all getting together and renting houses, my moms was about 1,700 for a week for 3 beds and my dads 3 bed was 1,400. I know there are also pretty places in Georgia, North and South Carolina and even up around New England on the coast. I guess it really depends on if you and your fiance are willing to cause a riff in the family (even if his mom isn’t being reasonable) Maybe you could look into other options like the ones I mentioned and see if that is a better compromise.

 

 

 

Post # 22
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper

@mrschristmas:  I also live in Toronto πŸ™‚ we are having a destination wedding in Cuba in less than a month. Each guest paid about $1200 per person for a 7 day stay at an all inclusive resort. We got an amazing group rate and also the time of year you choose to travel makes a big difference in price. I also think $2500 is alot to ask people to pay no matter how long of an advance notice you give them. We have about 65 guests coming which is alot for a destination wedding but in the end it will be alot cheaper then the cost of a wedding here…..the cost for a wedding in Toronto is nuts!

Post # 25
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper

@mrschristmas:  We are going to Cayo Santa Maria  Cuba and I cant wait! I have been to the resort already so I know what to expect when we all go

Post # 26
Member
3449 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I tried very hard (and succeeded) at keeping hotel + airfare under $1k (US) for my guests. It was a little more work on my end, because that basically ruled out a resort. So no pre-packaged set-it-and-forget-it accommodation arrangements. I chose a lovely mid-range beach front hotel (that we have both stayed at before, so we know it’s not a hovel) negotiated a dynamite group rate (>$100/nt) and also applied for an airline discount from American Airlines. We are feeding guests at least one huge meal each day from Thursday through Sunday and stocking their refrigerators with breakfast items, snacks and rum punch. If people want to sightsee or do excursions, they’ll have to pay for those separately (but even at a resort, these extras are not included in the room rate).  

 

 

 

It’s costing us about $50 per guest to provide the welcome kits and food items in their hotel rooms, but we would rather absorb the $50/pp than go to a resort and have our guests paying an additional $250 per night. 

 

The closer I get to the wedding the more I’m glad we made this decision because it allows for lots of flexibility. For example, guests wishing to save money can room together up to 4 people per room and split the cost. You could never do that at a resort as each person pays the same rate regardless. I’m thinking guests will have to buy themselves maybe one meal per day and there are lots of options at all price points within walking distance of the hotel. Also, because it’s not a resort, any of my guests who have chosen NOT to stay at the hotel for whatever reason (my parents, for example, have friends on the island so they don’t need a hotel) are more than welcome on the property to hang out.

 

Post # 27
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee

Hey, sorry this is so stressful for you! Planning wedding’s definitely has it’s fair share of stressful moments.

If price for a reception in Toronto is the main concern, maybe you can try looking at restaurants instead of traditional wedding reception spots! Even better, plan it for a Sunday instead of Saturday because you can usually get a better price on Sundays.

We had our reception at Mercatto and it was amazing – the service, the ambiance, the food – so great.

A friend of mine had her wedding at La Maquette – it’s a really pretty space with a courtyard (she actually had her ceremony out there), and they even have a dance area. She said the prices were great there as well.

There have got to be some other restaurants that could work – it’s a bit outside the box and may restrict your guest list a bit, but it could work!

ETA: If you have a large guest list, I just came across the website for Brasaii – it looks large and pretty sweet, but I don’t know what their prices are like – could be worth looking into?

Good luck!

 

Post # 30
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@mrschristmas:  ugh planning a wedding is SO NOT fun sometimes! My parents also said to me about how they would have to pay to travel to my wedding and wouldnt I much rather just have them use that money towards my wedding instead, blah blah?  Basically, trying to talk me out of it.  I found all inclusives for $250-280/night (per couple) so you’re talking under $2k for the hotel (nice hotels, too! I can give you recommendations if you’d like) and then the airfare is addt’l.  And you know what?  2-3 nights is even cheaper!  LOL.. But yeah, I’m backing you up on this one – your Future Mother-In-Law is being unfair and unreasonable.  Why can’t people just be happy for the marrying couple and supportive??

Post # 31
Member
8867 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@mrschristmas:  So it’s ok for you to say you can’t afford to host guests, but it’s not ok for people to say they can’t afford to join your vacation? 

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