(Closed) Destination Invitation Wording? Sending invite even though they can't come

posted 9 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
1182 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think I’d just send invites without apologizing for the location. Are you planning to do an at home reception after you get back to celebrate with the people that couldn’t travel? 

Post # 4
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Are you having a small wedding?  We just told those in person we understand.  We didn’t feel the need to add anything.  Plus we didn’t have the space lol.

Post # 5
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would still just do a regular invite.  I’m sure if someone is close enough to you to invite them to a destination wedding, they’re someone that you speak with semi-frequently, or wouldn’t be strange if you did call them, and reassure them verbally.

Really, any invitation the “no pressure” should be inferred.  I really don’t see a reason to make a point of writing it on the invite, and if anything it may have the opposite effect of making people feel unwanted.

Post # 6
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012


Don’t send a note, just send the invite, people know the deal….you don’t need to spell it out.

We sent invites out to 20 additional people for our Destination Wedding wedding out of courtesy, knowing they wouldn’t come but still wanted to just include them, and also announce our wedding to them.

Post # 7
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We sent out the invites as normal but on our wedding website where it had the travel details/price etc we put a little note saying we understand this is expensive and you may not be able to gt tim eoff work etc. so dont feel bad or guity if you cant attend.

ETA*** We also sent out a few invites to people we knew couldnt come, but they were important to us so we wanted to make sure they felt included 🙂

Post # 8
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@emandem13:  are you doing a website?  You could write a note like that on there but i would agree with bees above and keep invite formal.

Post # 9
4090 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you 100% sure they won’t come?  Normally they say to plan for 100% attendance (as in have enough seating at the cermeony, $ in the budget to feed them).  Some people do have 100% attendance with a Destination Wedding.

Post # 10
3584 posts
Sugar bee

I would just send out the invites without saying anything. We are having a destination wedding next year and I sent out the invites to people even if we knew they couldnt come or wouldnt be able too.

Post # 11
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Due to my FMIL’s additions to our guest list, we ended up inviting a lot of people to our Destination Wedding who I am sure will not even consider attending (I don’t think she understands that guest lists for DWs are usually really small, but it wasn’t worth a fight!). We did not make any statements like that, but I have been expressing this sentiment whenever speaking to someone who expresses that they would like to come but likely won’t be able to, and did put a little note on my website. I think it would detract from the invite, and it’s presumptuous to assume that people won’t be able to come! We have had a few delightful surprises so far 🙂

Post # 13
33 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

We did formal wording for our Destination Wedding.  We ended up with 150 attendees! I think your first idea almost implies you don’t want them to make the effort or don’t mind if they don’t come..   On our website, we said we understand this is a huge ask for many reasons but if there is anything we can do to help with transport or accomodation advice, please do get in touch.   

Some couldn’t come but it was then up to them to reply saying so rather than you almost saying here’s your invite although we know you won’t come.   Some who we thought would never make it – 3 kids, no grandparents to babysit, work in a school etc – all did which was fantastic!

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