(Closed) Destination – Uninvited Guest Already Bought Ticket

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

You can’t stop the cousin from being in the same area as the wedding, but you can certainly prevent them from being at the wedding itself.  Tell your Future Father-In-Law that the cousin can enjoy the vacation but will NOT be welcome at the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m confused…Future Father-In-Law invited to people to the wedding? A niece and a cousin?

Post # 6
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

This person doesn’t have an invite, but is planning on coming to the wedding anyway? Will be a little awkward when there isn’t a chair, or a meal for them.

People who have never met the couple should NOT be at a small, intimate wedding. Hold your ground. It sounds awful to have Fiance contact the cousin, and say “sorry, there was a confusion about the wedding,” but I’m not sure what else you do. Is there a Future Mother-In-Law around that can set Future Father-In-Law straight?

Post # 8
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@floridaflorida:  Is Future Father-In-Law contributing anything to the wedding cost, to give him an “entitlement” to put a stranger to the B&G on the guest list? I guess you could view the cousin as FFIL’s “date.”

Post # 10
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@floridaflorida:  Sigh. Why must people be so stubborn?

Because a lot of people try to see how far they can go… sorry you have to deal with this!

Post # 11
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@floridaflorida:  It is your wedding not your Future Father-In-Law. I can understand your frustration but if he is not budging, let it be. Just as @greeneyedmoon said, just because they bought a ticket to the destination doesn’t mean they still have an invite. It is up to you and your fiance to make the final decision of what to do when the cousin gets there.

Post # 12
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree w/ a PP – the ticket is purchased, so let them come to their vacation (can’t stop them from being at a public place), but explain to the Future Father-In-Law that you’re not going to have them at your wedding because you want a small, intimate wedding. 

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

This stinks, and I sympathize with your point of view and those of the PPs. That said, it sounds like if you do what they are suggesting and absolutely refuse to let this cousin be at the wedding when they are already traveling, it will probably spark a major conflict with your Future Father-In-Law.

Before you do that, you just need to ask yourself, Is it worth it? We don’t know any of the backstory on your relationship, etc. – only you and your Fiance can decide how big of a deal this might turn into, and if it is or if it isn’t worth the fight.

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