Post # 1
Hello! First post here! Bee in waiting 🙂
My boyfriend and I are planning on having a destination wedding Andrews, North Carolina. We are hoping to have it at hawkesdene house, and am wondering
1. Has anyone had their wedding/ event there?
2. Is it bad etiquette to have guests pay for their own room?
Essentially, we rent the entire estate for the weekend and there are bedrooms and cottages available for up to a certain amount of guests to stay on site. Is it rude (when sending out invites) let guests know what the name rate will be? We would cover costs for food, drinks, and transportation to and from the airport.
Thank you in advance!
Post # 2
That’s not bad ettiquette at all. People expect to pay for their flights/ lodging at destination weddings which is why they usually have lower attendance.
Post # 3
ceesquared : I think it’s fine as long as you aren’t requiring guests to stay there and just leaving it as an option. Make sure you have the funds to cover it all if need be.
Our wedding was semi-destination just because my husband’s family and mine live on opposite coasts with us in the middle. They all had to travel near to us. While we didn’t cover board for the entire trip (2-5 days depending on who it was), we did try to mitigate costs for our younger (our age) guests and assumed the “adults” could handle themselves. So for example we covered 2 nights for our best friends and their families and they either left after (one had another wedding to rush to!) or stayed longer on their own dime. Covering transport to airport is thoughtful of you as well, though, and also unnecessary, so you’re golden there.
No idea regarding #1
Post # 4
No, it’s pretty standard for any wedding (destination or not) to block off some rooms somewhere, then for the guests pay. If you reserve a certain number of rooms your guests typically get a discount, but you may be held responsible for a certain percentage if you don’t fill your block.
Post # 5
Blocking off rooms is standard. But if I’m understanding correctly, this is your wedding venue and you have to rent the entire estate to have your wedding there? Would they be “paying you back” (either through direct payment to you or essentially paying the venue to reduce your overall cost)? Because if that’s the case, then yeah – that’s rude. You’re basically asking them to subsidize your wedding because you want to have it at this specific estate but can’t afford it. That is drastically different than setting up a hotel block where your wedding will take place regardless of whether anyone stays there – that would not be rude then and they would be expected to pay their own lodging expenses. (For example, your wedding is at the Sheraton ballroom that you rent separately and people can also book their room there and one does not otherwise affect the other because people are free to book elsewhere with no effect on your wedding whatsoever.) See the difference?
If it was me, I would spend the money on the estate and then my VIPs stay there (at my expense since I’m the one who wanted that estate – not paying me or the venue back). If you can’t otherwise afford the venue without your guests subsidizing the costs for you, then you should seek elsewhere.