(Closed) Destination Wedding Accomodation Etiquette

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: I should..
    Just do a hotel block where everyone can get the room they want. : (6 votes)
    33 %
    Stick with the mansion.. Send out an PDF with room pictures and costs and let them pick. : (11 votes)
    61 %
    Try to pay for the mansion alone and cut out the luxuries like jazz brunch. : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I would stuck with the mansion. It really sends the Nola vibe. I would offer space to the parents and the bridal party since those should be who you can be candid with. That will also help you gadge support for the idea. I would then place it as the preferred location in the wedding website and invites. People will still have options but they will then know and understand yours 

    Post # 4
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    well how do the guests feel about the events (if you know)? im saying this, as if i go away for a weekend with my fi im happy to attend a wedding but the rest of the time im more likely to want a bit of alone time with him. 

    also where is the historic mansion? if they want to be out and about, if its far away from local attractions etc it may not be very convenient for them. If, its reasonably convenient (if they want to go exploring) i think if possible id keep the welcome party but skip the jazz brunch and put that cost towards the mansion. then hopefully it would be equally or less expensive 

    if its far from everything, i think id go with the hotel idea

    Post # 5
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’d skip the extras you have planned and set up room blocks at different price points for your guests. I’m guessing if they decide to stay over, they’d rather choose their accommodations themselves than to be locked in to a place that may be more costly. I’d pay for the mansion myself, in other words, as asking them to pay you for their rooms to be able to afford to have it there is only saving you money (unless the overall room cost is cheaper than most would be elsewhere).

    I’m also not sure how you think it won’t cost them anything? They still have to travel back and forth and maybe stay over somewhere.

    Post # 6
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’d go with the mansion.  You can talk to these people they are your family and friends.  Let them know there are different prices for different rooms and organize it that way.  I’m sure your Future Mother-In-Law can help with her side of the family.  Get pictures of the rooms and the layouts so you can let people know what’s available.  it’s extra work but the most fun I’ve had on vacation were the ones with all our families piled into one or two houses on the beach.  I’m sure that people can cab and go to different places in the city.

    I so wanted to do something like this for our wedding but finances just didn’t allow for that.  I hope it all works out it sounds so fun!

    Post # 7
    6741 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    This is a tough one, but I suggested doing a hotel block because I think its tacky to ask people to send money to you – I know I considered this option, too. 

    But, now that I think about it, would it be possible to get a travel agent or designate someone as the person who everyone has to send the payments to and “book” the mansion rooms to?  That way, it isn’t you so it’s kind of less tacky. 

    Post # 8
    593 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    My suggestion is not to ask them to send you money but like mentioned above designate someone to act as the “travel agent.” We looked into a venue similar to this in that it was a big ranch and in order to book the venue, you had to also reserve the loding for the ranch. The couple could either eat the cost and pay for lodging for the guest or collect money from the guests. They said usually someone (not family, a friend usually) is in charge of collecting the money. Maybe in your invites on accomodations, put “For lodging, please contact….” and then that persons name, phone number and email address and also list the different price point rooms. You still may end up loosing some of the money because some people may chose to stay at more affordable hotels or just driving home since 2 hours really isn’t that far but at least they have the option and you can get some of the cost back. You are NOT responsible for paying for lodging for out of town guests (except your attendents, of course) and I think most guests will understand this and be willing to pay for the room. 

    Post # 9
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would go with the mansion, it sounds beautiful and goes along with your theme. Plus it’d be unforgettable compared to staying in a hotel.

    Because there aren’t a lot of hotels at our destination, we booked 3 houses and priced out the rooms for our bridal party. We had them pay checks to us. It wasn’t tacky to us and people were happy they didn’t have to look for or book their own accommodations!!

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