Post # 1
My fiance and I are going to Hawaii to get married on the beach. We aren’t planning anything formal and would like whoever wants to come along and join us to feel invited to do so. Then we would like to have a casual reception at our home a few months later to be able to celebrate with those people who were unable to come. I am lost as to what kind of invites to send. Do we send one with the information for both the beach ceremony and the at home reception? Or do we send out two sets of invites- one for the wedding and one announcing the marriage and inviting them to the at home reception? And then who do we send the announcements out to?
Post # 3
I guess the question is, are you also having a wedding reception in Hawaii?
If yes, I would send two invites. One for the Hawaii wedding and one for the at-home reception. They could be in the same envelope, but I would make sure it is clear that they are separate and you can RSVP yes for one and no for the other.
If you’re not having any kind of reception in Hawaii, I would just send out one invitation for the at-home reception, and mention somewhere on there that you will be getting married in Hawaii on xx date at xx time in xx place and anyone is welcome to join you. You could say to just RSVP for the ceremony at the same time they RSVP for the at-home reception.
I think if you send out invitations, you shouldn’t need to send out marriage announcements after the ceremony.
Post # 4
I would send two invites for the sake of people not getting confused or forgetting about the home reception since it is a few months later. The formality of the invites can indicate that it is a casual affair in Hawaii
Post # 5
How many do you plan to invite (or tag along) to the Hawaii ceremony?
If you do invite people to tag along, you do need to host them in some way – even if it’s a nice dinner out at a restaurant after the wedding. Not sure if you were planning that, but you do have to do something for those that come. So if you invite 20 pople then you will need to plan a dinner for 20 people somewhere.
Etiquette speaking it is totally fine to have an intimate wedding (under 20) and then have a larger reception at home. However, if you have like 50 guests at your wedding and 100 at your reception back home, then you’re supposed to invite the same people to all the events, even if they don’t plan on flying out. Only intimate weddings are exempt from having to invite everyone to both.
So if you’re going the truly intimate wedding, plus reception – send out a celebration party invitation to the bulk ofthe guests, but to the intimate wedidng guests, maybe make their RSVP card read wedding in Hawaii and the celebration party X weeks later at home.
Annoucements to me are reserved for people who were NOT invited to the wedding or any post wedding celebrations. I have some aunts and uncles that I don’t plan on inviting due to distance and just not knowing them that well, but I may send them an annoucement so they know what’s going on in their niece’s life. If I go that route, I’ll use some nice photos from my photographer and make a collage type annoucement from Shutterfly probably.
I probably would not send any annoucements to guests if you plan on having a celebration party. Just word the invitation, “Join us at a celebration party in honor of the newly wedded Mr. and Mrs. Jones!”
Post # 6
I think @sienna76 summed up all the potential issues pretty well.
We are taking the same kind of attitude when it comes to our plan which we’re still discussing with family. Ceremony in Hawaii with invitations issued to everyone. Reception in Hawaii of some kind (whether it’s heavy hors d’oeuvres on site or dinner at a restaurant would be based on likely the response to a STD) for those who make it out there. An at home reception a few weeks later with an invitation that will likely be included with the actual ceremony invitation. People could RSVP for Hawaii, Philly area, both, or neither. That way everyone is invited to all events and they know about all events from the beginning.
If you’re planning to make your at home reception months later, then that obviously doesn’t work as well. You could always make a wedding website that lists the at home reception information and makes clear that formal invitations will be sent to it, too.
Post # 7
@sunnyjenn: send one for the Destination Wedding when you return home send out wedding anoucements with your at home reception information
Post # 8
I had the same debate as we are having a Destination Wedding in Greece, and a month later a reception in our home town.
What we did was a “postcard” invite for greece stating location and time. We sent that out and managed RSVPs until the end of last month. In 2 weeks, we are sending out an invite (more formal linen type) for the second reception. We decided to skip the Save the Dates/Announcements and go straight for the invite. (We do have a wedding website with both information which has been circulated to friends and family prior to the dates and plans being set).
So far so good – no confusion and no hurt feelings.
Post # 9
Our invite has both on it. It states that we are getting married in negril on the 21st and having a dinner reception on the 28th. You can then put an RSVP card for the dinner and a separate card stating anyone interested in going to our destination can talk to so&so at –â€” travel agency. Has worked for us so far. 🙂
Post # 10
I am having a small, intimate wedding in Rome and a post-wedding celebration at home when we return. We have separate invitations for both. The first invite will be mailed well in advance and the 2nd invite will be mailed 1 month before our wedding.