Post # 1
My S.O was previously married, I never have been.
My so is in the military. I have always wanted a semi-military type wedding, but on a beach. Basically, I want him to wear his uniform, but for us to be still in more casual and romantic setting. I have never understood why brides/grooms stress them selves out for months prior, go into huge debt, etc, for what is to be a celebration of love (I am not religious so a church wedding to me isn’t important). To each their own, but this is just what I have always pictured and what is important to me
So now that I know that my so’s prior marriage was the huge military, church wedding with all the bells and whistles, I somehow feel my “dream” wedding is no longer good enough. That people will think we are only doing a dw because my so already had his “real” wedding with his ex.
Has anyone else had this feeling?
I am haunted by the fact that my S.O already had his “dream” wedding, and it is overshadowing mine.
Post # 3
I have felt this way to be honest. Not similar situations ours is actually bigger than his first, but I wonder about the comparisons. What will people think? Do they think it’s nuts we’re having something huge because it’s his second marriage? Will they have thoughts about how liked her more than me? I’m over analyzing because of the situation, so in that way we are in the same boat.
Post # 4
To be honest, I don’t think guys really care whether the wedding is big or small. Your wedding is going to be better because he’s marrying YOU. Obviously his first marriage didn’t work out for a reason so I can guarantee you he won’t be thinking about his first wedding when he sees you walking down the aisle.
My hubby told me several times that we were doing this wedding thing the way I wanted it just to make me happy but he would have been just fine going down to the courthouse.
As for everyone else, screw what they think. This is YOUR day so enjoy it however works best for you as a couple.
Hope this helps.
Best of luck!
Post # 5
I wouldnt allow his previous wedding to hinder your feeling on your own wedding.
I wouldn’t worry about what others will think – its YOUR day (as well as his) and if its what you both want, then that’s all that matters. The fact, everyone will be seeing how happy you are on that day, I’m sure that will be the last thing on their minds.
I think you might be looking too much into this. I do see where you’re coming from, absolutely! But, its still YOUR day, regardless of anything, so do what you want to have the best memory of it. 🙂
Post # 6
Your wedding on the beach sounds more real than their fancy church wedding! The fact that you just want to be married and aren’t going crazy with all the bells and whistles…(in my opinion) means that you’re getting married for the right reason and not jsut trying to “put on a show” for everyone else. Besides, they didnt last so what’s that tell ya bout their “dream” wedding. 😉
I love your idea of getting married on the beach with his uniform on, I can’t wait to see the pics! Good Luck.
Post # 7
Have you posted on the encore forum? You don’t have to be an encore bride, you can be a first time bride marrying an encore groom. Lots of us over there can relate to what you’re feeling.
Maybe have an elegant yet intimate beach wedding in his uniform (we did ) and then have a larger still elegant yet fun reception at a nice restaurant or event space after you return, show pics, have entertainment, cut the cake, and have a minister say a few words and solemnize the vows you already took!
Ours was awesome! We both were married before and all our married friends told us they wish they had done it how we did, how fun it was, how great the food was, and they just loved it!
Post # 8
Well, chances are, he doesn’t want a wedding identical to his first. Have you talked to him about how you’re feeling? What does he say?
Post # 9
I know he liked his last wedding, but wishes I could be the girl he married that day. So who he married tainted the experience I think.
He likes my fantasy wedding. His ex was religious and neither he, nor I are, so I think that has a lot of bearing.
Knowing what I wrote in my first sentence of this post? .. pretty much makes me feel better about it all 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
Sorry I am late to the party on this one but I can tell you from experince don’t worry about it. Mr. M.’s family is big and MAJOR catholic so when we told them we were doing a destination wedding instead of the 250 person church wedding… well you can guess where this is going. Lets just say we only got support from his mom, dad and sister.
We just got married last tuesday and I about died when the biggest grumbler of them all, his grandmother, came up with this huge smile on her face and told us it was like a fantasy and better than any wedding she had ever been to. So I can tell you with 100% confidence go for it. More than likey you will show them something most of them have never seen. *hugs*