(Closed) Destination Wedding Drama

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 16
Member
7635 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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wanderingthoughts:  So? No one can force you to attend these pre-wedding parties. I’m wondering if as a compromise you attend for only the wedding day. That way your fiance can attend his brother’s actual wedding without losing too much money.

If the brother really cared about people attending his pre wedding events (and the wedding itself for that matter), he’d have them locally.

Post # 17
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

When my FI’s cousin got married in the Dominican most of the family made it very clear they were not going to be attending. The bride’s own sister was unable to go because of the financial implications. Since barely anyone was going to the wedding they were planning on having a reception locally when they got back but they decided last minute against it becasue it was too expensive. They were more comfortable offloading wedding costs onto their family than paying themselves, as a PP pointed out. 

In my opinion if a wedding is too costly locally then by all means elope or invite people to a destination wedding but don’t expect them to attend, no matter how close a family member they are. It’s a lot to ask someone to spend money on a flight and accomodations plus use up their vacation time from work for your wedding. I totally agree with you – Don’t let your saving for your own wedding suffer so you can attend someone elses! 

Post # 18
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee

I think your priority is so to be there at their wedding. I get that it is crappy they picked a destination after making you feel bad about wanting to, but family comes first. I think that considering your wedding isn’t until 2016, you can make some sacrifices to attend their wedding day. If that means you cut back in a few areas at your own wedding, so be it.

Post # 19
Member
437 posts
Helper bee

we’re having a dw and specifically planned it for a year and a half from now so that people who wanted to come had time to save.

BUT there’s absolutely no way i would make someone feel obligated to come. its about me and Fiance – if friends and family want to come, then they have the option to save for it, but if (like your situation) they can’t, then that’s totally okay with us too! 

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