Destination Wedding DRAMA

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 16
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Lacuna Artist Lofts

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Daisy_Mae :  It’s not like the OP is forcing the family to go, why so aggressive towards her? It is sad when your family is not rejoicing with you at exciting things. She’s probably emotional, which makes sense, but she wasn’t bashing them. 

Also the view of an entire country being dirty and dangerous is ignornant, so just on the basis of that, the family needs to take a step back from themselves.

Post # 18
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Girl have two weddings!

a lil backyard function dinner for the losers who dont want to go (atleast u get well wishes and presents lol)

and whole shin dig for the cool people willing to travel.

Post # 19
Member
4448 posts
Honey bee

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puppylover12 :  I wish I were a member of your family! 

 

p.s. Definitely make sure everybody goes to the mask museum!

Post # 20
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

If they don’t want to go, they don’t want to go.  Even if you succeed in pressuring some of them into it, they’re going to be pissy and complaining the whole time, and you’ll wish they weren’t there.  Maybe you can go out for dinner to celebrate with them after your American courthouse ceremony?

I’m planning a wedding in a different country from where most of my family lives.  A lot of them won’t make the trip, because they think it’s dangerous (I live in Taiwan and they think North Korea or China might attack during the wedding trip.  Seriously…) or just because it’s a long flight (totally understand that).  I’ve just learned to say “That’s a shame; you’ll be missed” and move on.  It’s so much simpler.

Post # 21
Member
3483 posts
Sugar bee

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puppylover12 :  “They travel all around the world for summer trips…” “…they have been to Italy and Germany many times…” “I asked what their reasoning was for the negative response and they said that México is a dangerous place…”

It seems they have no problem traveling to Europe. Give them a little homework, as they are so very ignorant, and have them research what happened in these places on these dates:

– Barcelona, August 17, 2017

– London Bridge, June 3, 2017

– Manchester, May 22, 2017

– Stockholm, April 7, 2017

– Westminster, March 22, 2017

And yet, people continue to visit and enjoy these destinations. As they should. “Danger” doesn’t seem to be the real reason they’re unwilling to travel to México.

By the way, your wedding in México would not be a destination wedding; your fiance is Mexican, those are his roots. 

Post # 23
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee

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puppylover12 :  their negative attitudes are concerning for sure. However, that’s just what happens with destination weddings. People get weird about taking time off work and booking flights to attend someone else’s vacation. Especially if it’s to a place they never wanted to go. 

Post # 25
Member
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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puppylover12 :  I’m sorry to hear your family isn’t considering going to your wedding. However, when you presented the information to them, how did you describe the city? Maybe you can throw in the words, “exclusive, private, high end boutique, luxury suites, upscale hotels, spa, European-like area, etc.” Also, maybe your mom can speak to your other relatives and show them pictures to help convince them. For example, your mom can swing by your aunt’s place and show her the lovely pictures of your venue and the hotel suite and brag about how excited she is to have this unique experience and fine dining since resorts tend to have sub par food. In addition, the Cathedrals there are beyond stunning and I would be surprised if you can find anything remotely similar in CA or TX. 

Keep in mind that many people don’t want to go to destination weddings if the destination isn’t on their to go list. Even if people can afford it, it doesn’t mean they want to. It is a lot of money. Just plan your dream wedding. Everyone else can be jealous when they look at the wedding photos ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 27
Member
1012 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Is the wedding in the city where the fiance’s family lives? If so its not a destination wedding. But even still they may have reasons for not attending. Even if they travel other places. I’ve never had a doctor tell me not to TTC in France. I have had them tell me not to TTC in Mexico. I am not going to judge the relative safety of cities I haven’t been to, but I’m also not going to second guess someone’s judgment for themselves. It could be just as simple as knowing how to act safely in France but not knowing that about Mexico even if one is not objectively more dangerous than the other. 

 

If this is just a random city you decided you like then this is a destination wedding and choosing to make the wedding more difficult to travel to sometimes costs you guests. 

This IS your real wedding though because I assume that the Catholic ceremony is what you consider to make you married and if your family is Catholic as well then this is what their religion dictates. 

Post # 28
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Be careful not to get too *it’s MY day* about this Bee.  It’s your wedding and it should be special, but you are also hosting your guests and it is important to be considerate of them. 

I would not be keen to sacrifice my money and holiday leave to see you re-enact your wedding which occured back in the US when you were legally married.  You will already be husband and wife — I don’t need to see you play dress ups.

Why not have the ceremony at home and go on your honeymoon to Mexico?

(Exception: as pp’s said, if this town is where your Fiance is from and his family are still there, I wouldn’t characterise this as a destination wedding and my response would be different)

Post # 29
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

I’ll come!  San Miguel de Allende looks beautiful ๐Ÿ™‚  

I agree that you should have your wedding there and then have a little get together for the ‘legal’ portion with your family.  

Also, there are safety risks everywhere…including California and Texas.

Post # 30
Member
262 posts
Helper bee

I’m camp destination weddings (where neither families live) are inconvenient and slightly selfish.  You are telling people how to spend time their money and time.  It doesn’t matter where else they travel or why.  It probably doesn’t matter to them that the area is special to your Fiance.  If you want to have your destination wedding, fine, it’ll be great, but you also have to accept that no one cares about your wedding even close to as much as you do.  To them, it’s one special day and traveling that much or spending that much might be ridiculous.  I feel like their criticisms of Mexico are a red herring.  They are ignorant and in many cases wrong, but it  doesn’t mean your family is wrong for not wanting to travel all that way just to see a family member get married.

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