Destination Wedding DRAMA

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 31
Member
11385 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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puppylover12 :  as a former Californian who has many friends there who quickly jet off to México on weekends like grabbing a train to go to Paris from London, I find their reasons really problematic.

I say this even though I’m generally not a destination wedding fan. Going to Mexico is not viewed the same as flying around the world. Idk, this could be because I lived in SoCal.

However, we can’t police people’s reasons, so I would  provide them with current safety stats from San Miguel de Allende and see if that changes anything. But PP are right overall re not expecting people at a destination wedding. A level 2 for the general country and no warning at all for some destinations isn’t exactly high alert time. It’s on par with Western Europe.

 

level 2, per state department 

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories.html

More info:

http://sanmigueltimes.com/2018/01/u-s-state-department-updates-travel-advisories-for-mexico-and-cuba/

 

  • Under the new rankings, Level One, the lowest advisory, signals a need to “exercise normal precautions” in places where there is no more than the usual risk involved in international travel.

Canada and Australia are among the countries ranked Level One.

 

  • Level Two means “exercise increased caution” for nations where there is a heightened risk to safety. Many countries in Western Europe, where there have been terrorist attacks in recent years, are listed as Level Two. Antarctica is also a Level Two.

 

  • Level Three translates bluntly as “reconsider travel,” with the recommendation to avoid going to countries with serious risks. Turkey, Russia and Venezuela are considered Level Three.

 

  • Level Four is for countries with a “greater likelihood of life-threatening risks” in which the U.S. government may be very limited in its ability to help. Travelers already in those countries are advised to leave as soon as it is safe.

 

Most states and the capital Mexico City are subject to the same level 2 advisory that applies to the country as a whole.

Popular tourism and expat hotspots Guadalajara, Puerto Vallarta, Chapala and Ajijic in Jalisco are not subject to any restrictions.

The new warning lifts restrictions on travel to tourist destinations in the state of Quintana Roo including Cancún, Cozumel, Playa del Carmen, Tulum and the Riviera Maya.

 

Post # 32
Member
1264 posts
Bumble bee

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apresallday :  a religious ceremony is not a re-enactment or a sham. How rude of you. There is a legal aspect to weddings as well as religious for many people. And for most religious people, it’s the religious ceremony that really counts and means the most. OP’s destination wedding will be a real wedding as her Catholic ceremony is taking place there, she isn’t going to play dress up. You may only care to have a legal wedding, but many people take religious ceremonies just as, if not more, seriously. 

Post # 35
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

San Miguel is gorgeous and completely safe! My sister had her wedding there in 2016 and approximately 50 people attended. She had it at the rosewood hotel and it was a blast. 

A tradition in San Miguel is to have a parade the night before your wedding where you walk through the cobblestone streets with puppets, music, and tequila (there are companies that organize it for you). 

There are tons of restaurants (where people speak English) and places to explore. 

I almost didn’t fit into my dress because of all the pan dulce I ate πŸ˜‚. 

The weather was perfect in August and we have amazing memories from our trip

after the wedding my husband and I went to Cancun for a few days and it couldn’t compare to San Miguel. It was hot, humid and not the best experience. The polar opposite of San Miguel where everyone was amazing and accommodating. 

Post # 36
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Can you have the wedding you want and then maybe have a family dinner/reception after the fact?

I would have the destination wedding because it sounds like you and Fiance have your hearts set on it. They may come around, but at the end of the day, you won’t be able to make everyone happy. This is YOUR day. 

A few of our siblings missed our wedding because of health/work/finances. (They live in a different state than us.) We would really have liked to have them there, but it ultimately didn’t affect how much we enjoyed the day. Good luck making this decision. I hope that whatever you decide to do makes you happy at the end of the day. 

Post # 37
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

Ohh God this entire thread made my blood boil, I’m sorry you are having difficulties with your family bee, and really it makes me think about how bad Mexico is represented in other countries. I lived close to San Miguel in Queretaro for years and I didn’t have a problem ever, I have friends all over the country and it’s the same for them. I don’t want to make anyone mad but I went to NYC for 5 days and they offered me drugs 3 times πŸ˜’ (one of them being moments after we got engaged, like, seriously?)  that never happened to me when I live there for years and it was during my college years!!!  It gets me mad that your family who travels a lot doesn’t have that big world perspective you usually get when you travel. 

If you want to have your wedding there because you love it, do it! I also have problems with having my religious wedding in Cabo like my only grandma with Alzheimer’s maybe it’s not going to be able to fly for my wedding but it’s not stopping me, my sister hasn’t even congratulated me for getting engaged I’m not having her as my bridesmaid I don’t care what my family is going to say about that, an aunt who doesn’t like to fly told me to change it and another aunt told me a cousin is having her wedding in Mexico after mine and I should change it LOL!! Like who cares? Come, don’t come, I’m having my wedding as I please.

I learned after lots of therapy to put myself first sometimes because it’s not healthy to try to please everyone, please take that advice just for this occasion it’s YOUR day! And you’re fiancé’s! Enjoy it!! Do whatever is going to make you happy!! Life is too short.

 

PS: This applies to all this places I traveled to: Cozumel, Puebla, Mexico City, Monterrey, Cabo and Veracruz 

Except: Cancun 🀦🏼‍♀️

Post # 38
Member
7551 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s not your job to try to change people’s perceptions of Mexico or to convince them to take a vacation. Destination weddings are an imposition on guests, and while we wish they’d be more tactful about it, they’re welcome to not want to go.  Whenever someone brings up their decision not to go, just say “we’re sorry to hear that; we’ll miss you”  and move on. 

Post # 39
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

By The Way if you need anything I have good friends that can help you with anything, Queretaro is just under an hour away from San Miguel, I wish you all the luck, that your wedding goes like you planned and a beautiful and eternal marriage. ❀️ 

Post # 40
Member
1264 posts
Bumble bee

I really dislike destination weddings and I have no desire to go to Mexico whether it be for a vacation or a destination wedding.  I hate being “told” where I have to spend my hard earned money and time off.  I realize a wedding invitation is not a summons but there are some instances where declining a wedding invitation can cause hurt feelings for years, if not irrepairable damage to a relationship.

Any guest can give any reason for declining an invitation.  The moment you decide to invite guests, your wedding ceases to become all about “you”.

You said you can’t afford an at home wedding for 100-150 people.  So is this Destination Wedding, where people need to take flights, get passports and pay for a “vacation” that’s not of their choosing your way of weeding people out?

Post # 42
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

Thought I would weigh in…  I live in Mexico and have for about 6 years… 

I had to look on a map to see where San Miguel de Allende is located..  I’m not familiar with this specific place.  There are some places that are infamous like Mexico City, Tampico and Michoacan which look maybe to be about 6 hours away from San Miguel if I were totally guessing. 

I heard the FBI give a little talk one time about Mexico…  They generally stated if there are places ‘within a certain range’ from the Dear Fiance you ‘may’ have an instance where there may be drug runners because they ‘tend’ to move through Mexico City to make exchanges, contacts, etc… 

That said it looks like a nice city.  But, if people don’t wish to go you can’t force the issue.  Maybe an alternative would be a choose somewhere in Mexico they would be more into going like Cabo, PV, san cristobal to name but a few…  But, it is totally up to you.  I would not have a problem getting married in San Miguel de Allende and having some type of thing in the US for people that could not attend for whatever reason.

Post # 43
Member
920 posts
Busy bee

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puppylover12 :  wanted to add my experience of traveling to different places in Mexico. I have no idea of the city you’ve mentioned, but i have been to cancun, surrounding areas and my SO has been to a different part as a child. It took him some convincing to go acouple yrs ago. While I had some fun adventures my honest opinion is someone was constantly trying or succeeding in riping us off (like compromised our credit cards and took cash from it).Also we were offered cocaine at many beaches and a couple other drugs. My SO will never go back. It’s not your place to convince your lived ones why they should spend money and come. You have no idea what’s going on in their heads. Respect their feelings. Also want to add that this can happen *anywhere* and not just in mexico.

And wow to the. Saying to invite the “losers” to the backyard wedding for presents. πŸ™„

Post # 44
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee

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apresallday :  HAHAHAA, holy crapola! Did you seriously just say that this person’s Catholic wedding in MEXICO (suuuuper Catholic place) is akin to playing “dress up”?!? Oh, man, I’m so writing this down…. *scribbles* You’re so damn offensive that I had to laugh!! Goooooood times; keep ’em coming, though!

Post # 45
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

A lot of bees like to bash on destinations weddings, which is fine. That’s their opinion.

 

I had my wedding in Mexico in February and we had 50 people attend from the US. Everyone had an amazing time and still talks about it on Facebook. No one felt unsafe at all. I didn’t see anything that was sketchy either. It was a fabulous time in a beautiful place! 

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