Post # 1
After having pretty much everything planned out mentally, decorations, style, colors, attire, music, photographer etc etc, we have decided to do a DW in Vegas!
I’m more than ok with this because I have always said that is what I want anyway, Vegas and Elvis!! FI is more excited about it then I thought he would be. I seriously think he thought I was joking about getting married by Elvis in Vegas. NOPE DEAD SERIOUS!!!
Here is my concerns!
We are aiming for a semi-casual but “romantic” ceremony! Not having Elvis do the ceremony, but wouldn’t mind him to sing if good enough
1.) What do I pay for if I have 2 people from both sides coming? Plane fare? Accomadations?
2.) Right now we are thinking of having 14 people.
Bride/Groom, BM and wife and 2 kids, MOH and hubby, Bridesmaid, GM and wife, my dad, FI 2 kids. 9 adults and 5 kids total.
We are thinking of doing a vacation rental home and I have NO clue where all I can look. I’ve found a few of interest on Tripadvisor and VRBO. Anyone have other suggestions?
3.) If we send out invitations to other people are we responsible to pay for anything?
Please HELP! Feeling hopeless in planning!!
Post # 3
I am doing almost the same thing but the Paris hotel package we chose includes 3 night stay. Everyone should pay for themselves and we just aren’t expecting any gifts at all. We are giving people the std’s early so they can plan though. Some people will miss it but I kinda like the idea of the people who are really close to us or really want to be there will make it happen. That is very nice you are paying but shouldn’t have to worry about it because it will be a vacation for them as well.
Post # 4
You don’t have to pay for anyone’s accommodations or plane fare except yours and your FI’s, though it’s a nice gesture to pay for other people’s if you can afford it!
HomeAway is an awesome site for vacation rentals. I used it a lot when I was planning to do a wedding in Florida.
Post # 5
Etiquette Snob here… lol
When it comes to Weddings, not just Destination Weddings…
“Traditional Etiquette” (the nice stuff) would say that the B&G should pay for accommodations for their Wedding Party * once they arrive at the Destination for the “duration” of the Wedding… so typically, the night before (Rehearsal), and the night of (Wedding Day).
As well as any transportation required to get to and from the Ceremony & Reception Sites from wherever the BP is staying. Transportation from their own home to the Wedding and back is their own responsibility.
* Bridal Party Children may be “cute” but they are expensive !! Their allowances for Accommodation would of course cover those who are escorting them… so that would typically mean a Hotel Room for both their Parents and any other sibs that are coming along as well.
It is also a nice consideration to makes sure that those in the BP and immediate family members who are of age (over 18) also get invites that allow them to bring a Guest to all Wedding Functions (like Rehearsal Dinner, Wedding itself etc). The idea being that they are giving up their time for you, so you allow them to spend their “downtime” between Wedding Events with a Guest of their choosing (Friend, Date, SO, Fiance, Spouce)
This becomes more imperative if it is a Destination Wedding… if you expect someone to travel a considerable distance, you should allow them the “pleasantry” of doing so accompanied by someone of their choosing.
Hope this helps,
Post # 6
@This Time Round: Hola, etiquette snob. Again, you are wrong or misinformed, as destination weddings are a different beast.
It is polite and/or kind to extend the plus one to your single bridesmaid and your father, but not required. If you extend the plus one, you are obviously not required to pay any of their travel expenses or accomodation. You might consider paying for the accomodation of your bridal party for the night of the wedding, but as it is a DW, it is not required per Martha and “seldom followed”, mostly because DW’s encompass more than one or two days. If you’re doing a vacation home accomodation, than obviously, the previous paragraph is pointless.
For any other guests, you are not required to cover their travel expenses or accomodations. However, it is one of the reasons that many may chose not to attend.
My wife and I did a cruise DW and paid a lot more than we were required (cruisefare and pre-cruise hotel) and allowed +1’s (only one person brought a guest). We invited 100, had 20 commit, three backed out before final payment, and four didn’t show at the port on cruise day, for a whopping total group of 13.
I’ve used HomeAway to book vacation rentals. It’s pretty straightforward and I’ve not had an issue. Luckily, Vegas has a lot of luxurious vacation homes and there are a couple pages of houses with 8+ rooms that can sleep up more people than you need.
Post # 7
To @Mrs Darling: ahem… I am not “wrong or misinformed”… as I clearly stated “Traditional Etiquette”.
And just because Martha says “seldom followed” doesn’t make something proper.
Etiquette seems to be so maligned and part of that is because people seem to have clearly lost how to interpret the written word of this I am certain.
Post # 8
@This Time Round:
To make it easier all around… My father is NOT getting a plus one as he is almost 80 and doesn’t have anyone he would give the + to.
My bridal party consist of my BFF who is married, and a very good friend. They are both coming.
My bridesmaid is my 16 (at time of wedding) niece who I have guardianship of and we have tossed around the idea of letting her bring a friend IF they can get the $$ for her own plane ticket. Personally, I don’t want the responsibility of having someone else’s teenager in a state 1500 + miles away from home. We are still discussing this though.
The reason I asked this question is one of the groomsmen told me I was nuts to pay for the house and dinner after the ceremony. I don’t think I’m trying to be a “big shot”. We are all going to split costs of food for the house. One couple with kids is driving in so will have their car. We are looking into renting a car and one other couple might have to do the same, because even if we rent a mini van that is only enough room with the 2 cars to have enough space for 12.
Post # 9
I am a big fan of FlipKey which is affiliated with TripAdvisor… check out their seperate Website, they might have some stuff on it that isn’t on TA (ie if no one has written a Review of a property it might not be on TA)
Mr TTR & I have rented from FlipKey it was a good experience. They were well organized, and we got EXACTLY what was presented to us on-line… no surprises. That is worth something, cause a lot of these types of Rental By Owner stuff aren’t always legal, done under the table, shady in regards to operating or money… and many are scams (ala Kijiji or Craigs List).
It really is a buyer beware situation.
The more reputable places prior to VRBO and FlipKey sometimes were found affiliated with a Real Estate / Property Management Co. I’d be open to going that route as well.
As for the teenager…
When our kids were teens we’d sometimes let them bring a friend on vacation… but it was NEVER out of country – state / province. Too many things to worry about or could go wrong. So my best advice would be no on that one. IF you do decide to go ahead, make sure you consult a Lawyer for help so that you can write up an agreement from the kid’s parents in regards to your right to transport across state lines, provide emergency medical care etc.
(As I said, lots of headaches)
Hope this helps,
Post # 10
I think the idea of renting the house is a good one, given that you are having so few guests and they’re all close relations or friends. I don’t think you’re being a big-shot, I would think you’re being generous and if “togetherness” is important to you than why not? However, I would offer the house as an option, but not make it mandatory since nobody likes being told what to do. As for the dinner, it’s customary to have some sort of a reception after the ceremony, so it’s not really an extravagance.
I hope this idea works out for you. My cousin just got married in Vegas last week and it seems like his small group had a blast. They had a great time at Denny’s (the diner), since it’s a wedding chapel/restaurant.
Post # 11
@This Time Round: yeah I really don’t want to do the friend of my niece so that is most likely going to be a no.
@Mrs Darling: I agee that about doing the dinner as a customary thing.
I think I will just have to talk to everyone about the house. The few I did were ok with it. My main concern is we have one guy who is 6’8 and about 300 lbs. So a big TALL guy and he pretty much has to have a king sized bed.
I found the PERFECT house, almost! It only had queen size beds and I’m concerned it will be to small.. 🙁
Post # 12
I’m getting married in Vegas later this year. So far me, FI, sister, FBIL and FSIL, and two of my friends are attending. I’m only expecting 10 people total. We’re getting married at the Wynn hotel, but no one is staying there except me, FI and sister. It’s expensive even with a room block rate which is . I’m paying for my sister’s room for one night and her hair/makeup/mani/pedi. Not having a formal reception, we’re going to eat out afterwards at Maggiano’s (which we’re paying for everyone) and hang out on the Strip.