Post # 1
Hello hello Happy New Year to you all!
I need a little advice for destination wedding events. I am getting married in Europe (90% of our friends/family will be travelling from the US)
The very beginning of planning we had in our heads that it would be a 4 day affair. 1st day would be the welcome party (hors d’oeuvres + open bar) 2nd day is a free day for everyone and the rehearsal dinner for the immediate family. 3rd day would be the wedding, and 4th day would be the farewell pool party brunch. While this is all still feasible – it is over budget about 10-15%. Any penny we spend extra is being taken directly from our home deposit and obviously we want to avoid that. So my question is are these parties all very necessary? Can I do just the wedding and either the welcome or farewell? I know they are all travelling far and we have to make it special for them as well. Some of my friends are saying no one will expect 3 parties just 2 and other people are telling me it is an absolute must. I am thinking if I cut 1 party I will allocate some of the funds to extra stuff in their welcome package or favors.
Thank you in advance!
Post # 2
If you are doing a rehearsal, you will still need to do a rehearsal dinner to feed the people who gave their time. What I did – rehearsal dinner, then same day but later cocktail “welcome” party, wedding day after. We didnt do a brunch because people left at varying times.
I think if you do your welcome party too early not all guests may have arrived anyways. Doing the welcome party later in the evening gives guests the whole day to arrive or explore, and eat dinner at their own time.
Post # 3
jellybellynelly : Thats a good idea to do it the same day. Thank you.
Post # 4
i think you could probably cut the day after brunch, as fun as a pool party brunch sounds. a lot of times i’m tired from partying the night before and not in the mood to get up for another activity, and need to pack up/head to the airport anyway.
as @jellybellynelly suggested, we also combined our rehearsal dinner and welcome party. wedding party arrived at around 6 for dinner, and then after dinner, we hosted an outdoor cocktail hour for all guests starting at 8. this may save some costs by combining the two events.
Post # 5
I would cut the farewell brunch.
My wedding planner recomomended for us to do that because she said a lot of her brides plan those and a lot of guests just don’t show up because they want to sleep in or want to enjoy their vacation at that time.
Post # 6
FWIW, most of the day after brunches I’ve attended are super causal, usually just something like a tray of pastries and fruit
Post # 7
Could you make one or more mod the events cheaper? Scrap the open bar at the welcome party and replace with beer/wine instead? Or cheaper food or drink for the rehearsal?
Post # 8
sbotch : “Any penny we spend extra is being taken directly from our home deposit and obviously we want to avoid that.”
Your guests are spending many, many pennies that they probably would rather have spent on something other than a trip to someone else’s wedding. Keep that in mind as you decide what you are spending on. Be a little extra generous to them since you recognize the sacrifices they’re making to be there.
Post # 9
I attended a destination wedding this past summer and the worst thing about it was having so much of my time booked up with wedding related events.
Post # 10
If I am traveling to Europe for a wedding, I’d rather have more free time to explore on my own rather than be holed up with a bunch of people. I can do that in the US – LOL. That being said, I wouldn’t feel bad nixing one of the parties.
Post # 11
I would nix the farewell brunch pool party. If I am traveling home that day, I’m not going to want to do all that or if I’m staying on to see the sights, I would rather do what I want to do.
I do however, feel that this is the wrong attitude from you – Any penny we spend extra is being taken directly from our home deposit and obviously we want to avoid that.
Traveling for your wedding is a lot of money for your guests to spend.
Post # 12
Horseradish : in my post “I am thinking if I cut 1 party I will allocate some of the funds to extra stuff in their welcome package or favors.” and the rsvp is their decision so if they rather spend their money elsewhere i am 100% understanding and okay with that but at the same rate I also have to be responsible. If I did every single thing I wish I could do for my guests I would literally be bankrupt. Thank you for your response.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
sbotch : We only had a welcome event and didn’t do a separate rehearsal dinner. That seemed to work fine.
And, I’d echo skipping the brunch. We had guests going every which way, and most of them were more interested in either getting home, or on with the rest of their vacation than hanging out with us anymore.
Also, it was nice to have it be just the two of us the first day as husband and wife. As much fun as we had spending the previous 4-5 days with our guests, it was also quite nice to just focus on each other.
Post # 14
sbotch : I don’t know if welcome packages or favors are necessary either.
Post # 15
sbotch : I think the considerate thing to do is cut the fairwell party and let your guests have the time to do their own thing. Maybe do some fun cheap goodie bags with a thank you note, some local treats and a printout of nearby attractions to encourage them to enjoy some time to themselves.