(Closed) Destination Wedding…for some

posted 4 years ago in Guests
  • poll: What should I do????

    Save the Dates with Early RSVP in addition to formal invitations

    Early Invitations with Early RSVP

    Other....any suggestions???

  • Post # 2
    Member
    9208 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    jandk2017 :  You need to make a firm guestlist with only the number of guests you can afford to host. You are in for a world of trouble if you do it any other way. If you can only afford to host 120 guests then that is your guestlist. If your final guestlist is more and you really can’t or be willing to cut it down then you need to find a cheaper venue or find more money.

    You are not having a destination wedding, you are just having a local wedding with a lot of out of town guests. Your guests know that. Send save the dates to let your final guestlist know to expect an invitation and so they can make plans. Do not ask them to rsvp. Anyone who gets an std needs to be sent an invitation as their rsvp is not due until the actual invitation rsvp date- they may change their minds on attendance between first recieving the std and the invite.

    Then send out invites at the 8-10 week mark like any other wedding. Some people may rsvp no but that is the risk all brides take when holding a wedding.

    Post # 3
    Member
    47430 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Invite the number of guests you can actually afford to host if they all show up.

    Budget for that number of guests.

    If you have less guests, you will have money left over and be able to save it, or upgrade some of your choices.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3324 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Do not send out invites early and ask for ra ps early.

    sending stds to VIPs is 100% ok. Stds aren’t required for every guest. Out of your options, this is the best.

    the real best option is to plan for 100% attendance and don’t invite more than you can afford. If you can only afford 120, cut your list down. You say they’re must haves, but if you must go into debt for them I’d hope you reconsider.

     

    eta: you say you can afford it – great! So just go about wedding planning for 200 ppl. Ask your caterer when they need a final count by (usually a week before), set your rsvp date a few days before then. 

    Probably around a month ahead you’ll be asked for soft numbers. This is your total list minus confirmed NOs. this gives everyone a rough idea. If by this time you’ve gotten any nos, you’ll have a better idea of where your budget is at. If (ex) 100 ppl said no, you can go back to your caterer and say hey we are 100 ppl short – what can we add? Maybe you end up with top shelf open bar or a late night taco truck. Or maybe 1 person declined and you’re right at budget. Planning for 100% is always best, and setting early rsvps can wreak havoc when a guest finds out later that they CAN get that day off work, so her+h+4 kids book a hotel room.

    Post # 7
    Member
    223 posts
    Helper bee

    You should make a firm guestlist and send STDs to everyone.

    I was going through the same issues a few weeks ago. I decided to just expand the guest list and send out STDs. People have been responsive and some have already said that they would not be able to make it. 

    It required some adjustment to the budget but if they don’t come it just means I get my wedding fireworks.

    Post # 8
    Member
    47430 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    jandk2017 :  I understand perfectly well what you are saying. You want some kind of indictation re the number of people who will rsvp “yes” and attend your wedding. That’s what invitations are for.

    You will have to deal with the uncertain numbers until your rsvp date, just like everyone else. You can’t expect people to rsvp to an STD. It’s not an invitation. Sending invitations too early would also be a burden to your guests who may not know if they are able to attend or not- budget, time off work etc.. This would likely backfire on you with people declining simply because they weren’t ready to commit.

    Post # 10
    Member
    906 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    There’s no way you can get an estimate before RSVPs are due. There will be some people who’ll let you know if they can come or not when they get the Save-the-Date, but that’s not an ironclad promise. 

    What’s the problem with planning for the wedding you can afford, and then upgrading on some items later? I’ve never come across a single wedding vendor who says no to an upgrade, be it a photographer, Etsy dealer, or caterer.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9208 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    jandk2017 :  Ask your venue when they need a final headcount and set your rsvp by that. So if they need final numbers a week prior to the wedding then set the rsvp date two or three weeks before the wedding (as you may need to chase some rsvp’s).

    Leave booking hotels up to the guests. They will choose a hotel that suits their budget/style and unless there is a huge event/conference on then it is highly unlikely that Vegas would sell out of hotel rooms. 

    For everything else plan for every guest attending or wait to buy until after your rsvp date (like favours).

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    OP I get what you’re saying. You don’t want rent linens, napkins, order centerpieces, and favors etc. for 200 people and have 100 show up and be stuck with a bunch of extra stuff you don’t need two weeks before your wedding. I’m sending my invites 12-14 weeks ahead of my wedding with the RSVP due 4-6 weeks before the wedding. I realize it’s earlier than I’m supposed to do it, but that’s what I’m going to do. I don’t want to rush around two weeks before the wedding adjusting counts for things. I sent STDs to every guest, so the invitation shouldn’t catch anyone by surprise.

    That solution may not work for you, and it’s against the acceptable time frame for mailing invites and requesting RSVPs, but it works for me. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    My venue does everything based on minimum numbers so deposit etc is based on that (obviously with the capacity for maximum numbers) and then only 6 weeks before they want a good idea with final numbers the week before. Operate this way and base everything on the people you know will come and then add any extras or upgrades later. From what I have heard from other peoples weddings most operate this way. I think you are over thinking it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    I’m also having a Vegas wedding. I sent out invites super early without doing save the dates. This gives everyone traveling a big heads up. I’ve gotten a lot more no rsvps than yes which I expected but it definitely helps plan stuff for the wedding.

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