(Closed) Destination Wedding Guilt?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@LorettaB:  

We are having a destination wedding in Cancun, with only 40 people. No, I don’t feel guilty about it at all, it’s going to be fun. The day should be about you, and your relationship, don’t change things for other people. What you can do is have a fun get together party back home and invite the people who weren’t able to make it and celebrate that way. 

One small note: Ouch, 3 hrs seems pretty far to travel after getting off a plane for your guests, you might want to rethink that unless you are 100% set on this venue. 

Post # 4
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@LorettaB:  hi, I sometimes feel guilty about it as ours is a Destination Wedding in Thailand, it will cost a lot and take a lot of time for guests to get there but lots of pople have sai they are really excitied about attending and that makes me feel better about it.

Post # 5
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We had ours in Florida, and even though it wasn’t that far away ( a two hour flight or a 16 hour drive), my parents and DH’s entire family took the week off and stayed. No guilt!

Post # 6
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LorettaB:  We had a former idea that was actually 3 hours from an airport as well.  Middle. Of. Nowhere.  But it was our favorite spot (one of them).

 

My sisters all told that it was too far for people.  They’d have to fly in (a 3+ hour flight), rent a car, then drive another 3 hours.  That’s a long day for guests.  Then we would have plunked them in the middle of no where without cell coverage or TVs and two restaurant options.

 

We nixed the idea due to lack of support.

 

Then we moved it to Jackson Hole, WY which is 3 miles from an airport and way more lodging/restaurant options.  Book, paid for it all.

 

Then we had to cancel that (terminal illness in the family) and we eloped.

Post # 7
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I don’t think you should feel guilty at all! The day is about you! If you know in your heart that you will look back and be proud and filled with joy when you think of your wedding, then I say GO FOR IT!! Good luck! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Fiance and I are also getting married in Thailand – and we didn’t invite anyone!  Our families fully accept the idea – and I have gotten way more ‘I wish we had done what we really wanted for our wedding’ than any other response.

Do what you want!  It’s your day. 

Post # 9
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m having a destination wedding in New Orleans. I feel some guilt about people having to travel, but most people would have to travel no matter where we had it, so I thought, why not have it somewhere people might be excited to visit. I’ve just decided that people will come if they want to and if they don’t, they won’t. I would feel more awkward about it if I had a mostly local guest list. But there are only a small handful of people on our guest list who even live in our state.

That said, a flight and THEN a three hour drive would be too much for me to ask of people. I just feel like people would be completely wiped out from all that travel. Air travel and significant car travel are both kind of tiring and stressful in different ways; put them together and it’s a burden. But, it may just mean that your guest list gets cut down even further, and maybe that’s okay with you. Make a list of the people you absolutely must have at your wedding and find out how they feel. If they’re on board, and you go forward with it, you can think of anyone else who says yes as a bonus.

Post # 10
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Dont feel guilt. It is your day and if people can come they will, if they cant their thoughts will be with you but ultimately it is your day and the memories are yours to have, you dont want guilt over “wishing we had”.  I am a believer that you stomache gets that butterfly feeling of excitment and if you get that over your destination wedding then do it…

Have fun 

Post # 11
Member
9203 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I can relate.  We’re having ours in our hometown in Wyoming, which is 5 hours from a major airport and 45 min to 2 hours from various smaller ones.  There’s also no buses or trains in this part of the country  I do feel a little badly about making people fly and then rent cars, etc, but we plan to just make it clear that we understand that it’s a giant pain in the ass to get there.  If people can’t do it, then we understand and love them anyway. 

It’s your wedding, do what you need to do!  Just don’t hold a grudge against someone who can’t attend.

Post # 12
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

At the end of the day it is about you and your HTB and those that come will be there as long as they are able. If there are a few who have financial issues that are critical to you offer to help but aside from that do you. When you two become one you will have to learn that the things that you both hold dear must be the priority.

Post # 13
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We don’t feel guilty at all.

I am an only child and do not have a lot of extended family and the ones I do have live around 6 hours away from me downstate.  FI’s from a smaller family also.  We had originally planned a wedding around an hour away from FI’s family (but still like 5 hours away from mine).  But after we booked the venue I realized that still wouldn’t be the best scenario.

So Fiance and I are still getting married on June 1 but it is more of an elopement with his parents, brother and his wife, and my parents.  We taking that next week off for a honeymoon then the next 2 weekends after get back we are having 2 receptions, 1 up here where FI’s family is, and 1 down where my parents live.  It’s actually going to work out very well for us.

When we first got engaged I thought I had wanted the big wedding with a huge bridal party and I hate to say, I really got sucked into the whole wedding industry propaganda.  Fiance really didn’t want that but he was willing to do it for me.  We have gone through some tough times the last few months and I chucked the original plans out the window for the small destination wedding.  I feel so much better, Fiance is so happy we are doing this and I have come to realize that you need to do what is going to make you 2 happy.

Post # 14
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I had always felt a bit guilty – our wedding will be in Thailand and most of the guests will be coming from Australia.

UNTIL… I went to a destination wedding of one of my very good friends. Not once did I feel negative about taking the time off work or spending the money to travel there.

I hope my guests will feel the same way.

Someone is always going to have to travel to your wedding so don’t don’t comprimise on the desintation the two of you want.

Post # 15
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@LorettaB:  eeep I would feel guilty with the 3 hour drive… 

Our wedding was in my hometown but a destination for all of FI’s family/friends so I knew not to expect a lot to come and was telling people not to worry because we’d have a 2nd reception for them after the wedding…

I think you can have what you want as long as you come to terms with the fact that people may decline.  If you still want to celebrate with those people make plans to have a 2nd reception closer to home (even if people have to travel it will still be less than original plan) and that gives people options… that would take away any guilt I felt.

 

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