Post # 1
I’m new here. I am in love and in the very beginning stages of wedding planning. I am American and Fiance is French. I currently live in Paris and both sides of relatives will have to travel (if we have in US or France) for our wedding, so we are thinking we might as well travel too and make it tropical (lol).
Our dream is to marry in a simple ceremony with 50 people in Bali (@ the Ritz in Bali) and then travel through the Pacific for our honeymoon.
We are planning one year+ in advance to give guests time to plan.
Thinking about details, we figure:
1. Bali is a pricey flight but cheap vacation (we will also provide the stay for 25 people and get discounted rates for the other guests). So financially our guests shouldn’t stress too much… right?
2. We are telling everyone 1 year in advance via save the dates and phone calls.
3. We could marry in Paris…. but over time its become less and less our dream. (We want to also start a family in a year or 2 and so this wedding is also an opportunity to see that side of the world as a couple and be on a huge family vacation)
4. We are looking at late summer dates so that relatives in school will have availability.
5. We are not having a bridal party because we dont want the stress of everything associated with that
6. Since it is a destination wedding with an amazing price point, we can use the planner provided and not have to worry about small things.
Any thoughts, comments, concerns would be amazing 🙂
Do you think is it “unfair” to have a wedding so “far away” or is it okay since we are being thoughtful? (and sort of dont mind if no one comes to the wedding hahaha.)
Also: if anyone has advice on the Ritz venue for off season pricing or and tips, please comment below. Thank you 🙂
Post # 2
It’s very nice of you to cover some of your guests and arrange for discounts for others.
However, I would drop your assumption that the cost won’t be too much for the guests due to your efforts.
You would be surprised at how people struggle financially, where even an extra $50 is something that can’t be spared until the next paycheck hits.
Post # 3
It is very far for everyone to travel so as long as you are being honest with yourself and truly wouldn’t mind if people turned down the invitation then I think your plan is fine.
People have other things to put their money towards, other things to use their vacation days on or just a different holiday destination in mind so just remember that while this is your dream, it probably isn’t the dream for your friends and family.
Post # 4
As with all destination weddings, there will be A LOT of people who don’t want to spend the time/money on what you see as a vacation.
I think the biggest issue with Bali is that (from the US) you are looking at 23-36 hours of travel time each way. People would be spending 4 days traveling. And the jet lag is wicked when you are on the other side of the world.
So as long as you expect that most people wouldn’t go and verify with your VIP’s before hand (parents, siblings, BFF’s, etc) that they would want to go, you’ll be fine.
Post # 5
If Bali is the wedding you want, go for it! There are loads of bees on here who will have great advice for planning from afar. It sounds like you’re being considerate to your guests.
Unfortunately we don’t know your guests. I’d say talk to your VIPs (the people you MUST have there), and see what they think. Sometimes it’s not finances but health, time off, fear of flying, that kind of thing. Prepare yourself for not hitting the 50 people, and not getting offended if people say they can’t make it, but as long as you clear it with the most important people to you, then I’d say go ahead
Post # 6
My cousin just got married in Bali, her pictures are absolutely beautiful, so I can see the appeal, but only they went, no family attended.
I think it’s fine to do what you want, but know that you are burdening your guests more than for a usual wedding and many will not be able to go. However, if your immediate families are totally on board, then go for it.
Post # 7
Just check with the people you really want to attend (such as immediate family and best friends). It really depends on your crowd. I am big on traveling (I’ve been to Indonesia as well!) but I know a destination wedding wouldn’t fly with my crowd (many friends can’t afford to travel, family members not open to flights over 4 hours, etc).
Post # 8
I think you should do what makes you happy. But I don’t think there should be any pressure on your relatives to travel.
Post # 9
thank You! This is an important point. I was thinking for my family, from California, i could arrange a night layover in Hawaii through a travel agency. Even Orbitz has this. I’m hoping this is a great compromise, as my mom loves Hawaii.
My immediate family travels, extended family not so much. My friends travel. I think if we invite 70, 40 will show. Which is okay. France’s family dont have to worry about finances so much. So I’m hoping that they’l be all smiles when we tell them.
Post # 10
The only thing I would be concerned about is the potential burden on the people who mean the most to you. There could be hurt feelings if close family members had to struggle to afford the trip. However, if that’s not a concern, I say go for it. I would be really impressed if you had 50 people who could join you in Bali!
Post # 11
A layover in Hawaii is always nice, but that won’t help with jet lag as Hawaii is only a 4 hour flight from CA and an hours time difference if I remember correctly.
Some people/crowds love a Destination Wedding. My husband is from Scotland and his parents are still there. We got married in GLasgow. We invited 116 and 68 attended, 50ish from the US. But his friends are well off and LOVE to travel. My friends are teachers and LOVE to travel so they started saving as soon as we were serious in hopes of doing the wedding in Scotand. BUT, my BFF since I was 13 didnt’ come – didnt’ want to spend the money on a country she didn’t like. It really put a strain on our friendship (we recovered but there were loads of hurt feelings). So just keep all that in mind
Post # 12
I think if that’s what you want than you should for sure do it, but just be aware that you might not have has many guests than if you were to marry somewhere closer. It really just depends on your group. Personally for me as I’m based in the US (California to be exact) I can only afford one international trip per year and probably wouldn’t go because of how touristy/busy/hetic Bali is. But that’s just me. If your family/friends are relatively well off and like the idea of Bali than I don’t see why they wouldn’t go. Just don’t be sad if people cancel because of the price, destination, etc – however that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it if that’s what you want!
Post # 13
Here would be my thought process if I got an invite from a friend…
I have plenty of money and love to travel, but unless it was my BFF or sister, I probably would think hard before I took this trip for a wedding as it’s a major cost, time suck on the plane, and to a place that while I know is gorgeous, I don’t have a burning desire to go to unless I couple it with something else like maybe other part of thailand, which then I’d be taking off more time off work and burning up my vacation time. No way would I drop that much cash on a plane ticket plus all the time it takes to get there, for only a long weekend, I’d have to make it my big yearly trip.
I also like to take these big trips with my son to make a family vacation out of it, and he’d be bored in Bali (teen boy big into fashion and sports) for over a week on a beach vacation with people he didn’t know, so essentially I’d be dropping probably at least $5k between tickets, food, hotel….that’d have to be our big vacation that year, for a place I’m sort of of “eh” about for a family trip.
Now if it was somewhere in Europe and I was in the US, I’d be much more inclined to go. I could score tickets under $1k each, my son loves Europe, and we could do Paris for a few days and hop a cheap flight to Italy (family fav) or somewhere new like Amsterdam. Plus it takes 8 hours to get to instead of 24-30. Less vacation time, less money, more fun for everyone. Winner.
So, I would say – book if you want, but consider it a bonus if people go, not an expectation.
Post # 14
The cost will be a big factor but even moreso will probably be the time commitment. That’s an incredibly long time to travel. I wouldn’t do it for anyone with the exception of my own daughter. I also love to travel but I like to choose my own destination and my own time frame. I’d talk to your VIPs individually about it and see where they stand, if it’d be a hardship or not doable at all and go from there. If the VIPs are totally on board and have absolutely no problems with it, then I’d go for it. Or if some aren’t but you can live without them attending. But I’d keep in mind that many of my guests will most likely decline.
Post # 15
I would just adjust your expectations. Even expecting 50 to attend is setting the bar really high, especially because you mention cash issues.
If you want to have your wedding there, that is great! Your pictures will be incredible. But discuss it with your VIPs, and if you have the budget and want to guarantee they are there – offer to pay for their flight too (since that’s the pricey part!). They still might decline because of time/vacation/etc, but I think that’s going to be your best bet.