Post # 1
Hi, Bees! I’m having a wedding in FL in spring of 2011. In addition to family, I am only planning on inviting 5 of my closest girlfriends. In order to keep their costs to a minimum, I decided not have bridesmaids so the girls do not have to buy a dress, pay for alterations, hair, makeup, etc.
I feel that because the guest list is so exclusive, they will understand that they are special to me and that they do not need the special recognition that maids otherwise receive at a larger wedding.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this or any ideas as to how I can express my appreciation to them? I was thinking of doing a spa day for everyone the day before the wedding or something along those lines.
Also, has anyone had experience with planning a desitnation wedding where, at the outset, everyone seemed excited about coming but then their tune changed after they calculated the costs? I am afraid this could potentially happen to me. Everyone says that “they will be there no matter what.” But I’m afraid that when it comes down to it, they may think it’s too expensive to make the trip.
Post # 3
I think having a girls’ day at the spa would be a great way to express your appreciation to your friends! Is there something you could do with them at the resort where you’re getting married, like a sort of last minute bachelorette type day trip you could take together?
Post # 4
Because the guest list is so intimate, the friends that you’ve invited will absolutely know how important they are to you! But a spa day (and maybe a lunch for all the ladies?) the day before the wedding sounds like a lovely idea!
Post # 5
I think the spa day/lunch or a mini bachelorette party would be great. A few of the girls are in my hometown, but a few are also in DC and Miami. I’m not sure if I’m having a bridal shower, or, if I do, if all of the girls would be able to come. The nice spa day and lunch may be a great substitute t have time with them!
Post # 6
We are in the same boat! FH and I decided not to have a bridal party for the exact same reason! Although we are considering having just one bridesmaid and one groomsmen (maybe lol). However, I was thinking of giving all my girls a corsage in the wedding colors with a personal letter from me.
I think the spa day is really nice!
Post # 7
That sounds like a very nice idea.
I don’t want to choose just one friend and I don’t have a sister, so I was thinking that I’d have my mom be my Maid/Matron of Honor. My FH has a brother, so he probably ask him to be his attendant.
Post # 8
I like the spa day and I agree with Colette27, by being invited, they know how much they mean to you. Nothing like being invited to an exclusive party!
Otherwise, my suggestions would be to do something nice for them at home, like shopping for new suits and offering to pay for the swimwear. Or, buying them all wraps for the beach. Or if you can’t afford the whole spa, maybe pedi/manis?
And as far as having your mom stand up, I think that’s fine. My FI’s cousin just got married this summer and just had her mom stand up for her. I thought it was touching to know she was that close to her mother.
Post # 9
There are several posts from Bee’s who have done nice things for their ladies who are not technically “maids”… Mrs. Lemonade, comes to mind, but there are some others too, read through some archives and you’ll find them. Some have included nice invitations to “get ready with the girls” very nicely done… they can still be there with you, without the expense.
Second… Yes, there is definately a “We’ll be there no matter what it sounds great” initial response, but with the economic uncertainty, it’s no uncommon for folks to back out or decline after initial entheusiasm. For many brides, at home receptions are a good option when this happens.
Post # 10
A day at the spa sounds great – I think I’ll do this too! 🙂
I had friends that first said that they wouldn’t miss it for the world, and then had to back out because mainly of money or vacation issues. No hard feelings because as long as I’m marrying the man I love, we’ll be happy. There will be parties when we come back, and we probably will not be the ones hosting.
Post # 11
Beachy Bride thanks for posting Mrs. Lemonade’s idea about sending an invite to the girls to get dressed together! For me thats the one thing Id miss most so Ill deff add that to my wedding!