Post # 1
We’re renting a huge 8 bedroom house that sleeps 32 for our destination wedding. I’m paying for the rental for the week (family & friends can stay as long as they want).
Anyway- Is it wrong to ask for them to pitch in on food/drinks? I don’t know how to word it that I will be providing the reception food/drinks but they need to BYOB for the rest of the week.
Or should I be paying for the house AND all the food/drinks?
Post # 3
I’d be surprised if anyone assumed the entire week of food/drinks would be covered by you, the reception sure but no the whole week.
Are you using a wedding website, you could post it one there?
OrMaybe send out a mass email saying how excited you are to see them all and here are some location updates etc and list a few things.
Ie) they are welcome to stay for the entire week if they like, any organized events you may have planned, dress code, wedding date/time reminders and maybe slip in that food an drink will be covered for the wedding and recepetion.
Ask if anyone has prefrence as to how the food will go the rest of the week. Are they interested in doing a few potluck meals, or just have everyone bring things to bbq or fend for themselves.
Just offer suggestions like that and i think they’ll get the hint without you flat out saying “yo, were not paying for you to eat all week!”
Post # 4
I would be bringing my own food for the rest of the week if I was invited… I would think this is common sense… but I guess not everyone has that?
Post # 5
That’s awesome that you are paying for the rental home. I would not expect you to pay for food for the duration of the visit, for the reception yes but not the rest of the stay. I agree with @happyface seems like that would be common sense.
Post # 6
I don’t think it is wrong. When I attend a destination wedding, I expect to pay for my own place to stay, and also food and drinks (with the exception of welcome party/rehearsal dinner/wedding day).
Your guests should be grateful they have a free place to stay!
Post # 7
Thank you! You would think it would be common sense, but some of the questions I’m getting blows my mind.
Post # 8
@happyface: I find that common sense isn’t all that common these days.
I agree that I would be assuming I’m covering my own food outside of the wedding.
Post # 9
I would expect there to be some food/drink provided in the house (chips/salsa, soda), but nothing huge. I wouldn’t expect every meal to be covered, but just some munchy snacks or drinks might be appreciated!
Post # 10
@abbie017: I’m thinking about doing a 3-4 dinners such as a seafood boil, bbq, fajita night but just not all meals. Also doing a bloody mary & mimosa bar a few mornings since we are a group that enjoys a cocktail. 🙂
Post # 11
You would think it would be pretty clear that your guests would not expect you to pay for EVERYTHING but never assume. make it VERY clear what will be paid for by you and what they need to pay for themselves. My brother and his wife just had a destination wedding (for us) in Alaska and my mom, dad, myself, and a bunch of my brothers friends all stayed there and totally just assumed my brother and his wife paid for everything (in our case we did have to pay for part of the house) but they were NOT clear whatsoever about who had to pay for what and it was a HUGE stress and mess because his friends ended up not paying their share of things and it ended up costing my parents a TON of extra money. So it is definitely better to be very clear with them even if you think they know, save yourself the stress
Post # 12
I know I’d have to spell it out with my family that I could not provide food the entire week. I’d make a wedding website and put it on there.
Is it close to a grocery store and/or restaurant? Could people claim certain nights as their night to provide dinner for the entire house?
If it were me, I’d probably opt to buy some breakfast stuff (milk, cereal, eggs, bread, yogurt), buy a few snacky items (fruit, granola, canned nuts), tell people they are on their own for lunch, but dinners are communal and take turns making meals. That is if they are the type of crowd that can manage that. Then they only have to worry about one dinner, rather than 8 different couples all cooking different dinners each night.
Post # 13
@sweetdee522: could you say daily continental breakfast provided which indicates most of the other meals arent. will you have enough fridge space for food if everyone brings chilled food.
Post # 14
I would list all the meals you plan on doing on your website and then compile a list of nearby grocery stores and restaurants they can use for the rest of meals.
Post # 16
Maybe you can word it that there’s “a big kitchen so they’re able to cook while they’re there.”
I would think that no one would assume you’d feed them for a week.