(Closed) Destination Wedding Planner Blues

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We paid our planners a flat fee, so not familar with the practice when paying a percentage, but from my experience and from friends, the delayed responses aren’t unusual, but the fee on the tips would make me uncomfortable too.  Can you have the best man distribute tips instead?  I would also be wary of having a confrontation with someone you are so dependent upon, so agree that trying to keep the relationship running smoothly is best.  

Post # 4
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hm. I would check out this about tips. I found it on Pinterest.


I’m doing a Destination Wedding and I’m sorry, but your planner sounds awful. That is unprofessional of her to be blowing through your budget and not giving you specific numbers and details. It means she’s not doing her job at all. At the same time, you don’t want to piss her off because she has the reins on your wedding. I’m so sorry she’s causing you stress because that’s literally the opposite of what she’s supposed to be doing.

I agree with @mrandmrsp and think you should have the best man distribute tips so she doesn’t get any more than she’s promised. I bet you anything she’s got a ring of deals she makes with vendors so that her little monopoly stays on top.

That sucks and I’m so sorry. 🙁

Post # 5
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@queenbee33:  remember that she lives in another country and it’s a different work culture/ethic.  I’m sorry she is being difficult. 

Post # 6
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@queenbee33:  So unprofessional! It stinks that there aren’t any other options…

Post # 7
2351 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ur planner sounds pretty much like how mine was. Its extremely difficult to plan a wedding over email when it’s a destination. Ur not alone in ur frustration. I had quite the same feelings and experience with a Caribbean Destination Wedding. If u have a lot of details that u want to be incorporated, or if u are trying to be able to completely visualize ur event before it unfolds, u r probably going to have frustrations. Ppl on island operate in a completely different manner, on island time and I think they don’t realize that mainland ppl operate on deadlines and when they ask questions, they expect complete answers and in a timely manner. Basically, the less u care about details and specifics about ur event, the happier u will be. But that wasn’t me and so I struggled trusting my planner.

A fee on tips does not sound right but if u r working with a resort planner, u will not have as much freedom in choosing how ur money is spent as if she were an independent planner. I think all u can do is try to be assertive with communicating ur expectations and hope they respect ur feelings enough to give u better service or an insight as to how and y they do business the way they do.

Post # 8
2883 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@queenbee33:  you could always tell her that you need to cut the budget because it’s financially not feasible… thus cutting her fees. 

Did you not include a clause that any $ over budget is deducted from her fees? That keeps your financial interests aligned. Or a % of the budget, up to $X. 

ETA: Just noticed it’s in 2 weeks. I’m sorry you’re going through this and good luck with her. 

As a planner, her job is to keep you on budget. She’s not doing her job. Do you have any flexibility on locale?


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