Post # 1
I am not having a destination wedding, but I’ve been to two, so I have questions.
Both times, I paid for my family’s travel expenses, food, entertainment and accommodations. Neither time was a block of rooms reserved for guests. We were pretty much on our own except for attending the wedding and after wedding dinner that we paid for ourselves. I thought this was the norm.
Upon reading about DWs here, it seems the couple getting married pays for a lot of the expenses I would have expected to pay myself.
What is the etiquette for this? I’m genuinely curious.
Post # 3
It completely depends on the wedding budget the couple have. Fiance and I went to a destination wedding (4 hours away from home) and the newlyweds paid for our accomodations (but her family has A LOT of money) then inturn we went to one last weekend and we paid for everything ourselves. Fiance and I are getting married in Jamaica and everyone is paying for their trip, except our wedding party we gave them a chunk of money towards their trip in lieu of weding gifts for the bridal party which is what they wanted instead of a gift they would never use. However the resort we are going to charges a fee for each person at your wedding on top of the $1600 they are paying for their trip ad Fiance and I are paying the fee for our guests…..sooo theres really no standard at all, it varies with every wedding….
Post # 4
OP, were you not hosted at ALL after these Destination Wedding ceremonies? You said you had to pay for your own meals after the wedding? This is terribly rude. The bride and groom should host a full meal for guests who attended their wedding ceremony – that is the least they can do for people who came so far to see them get married. Oftentimes people who arrive a day early are invited to the rehearsal dinner as well.
Post # 5
To be fair, both weddings were for my sister and she was young and poor the first time. The second time was in 2008 and by then they were doing very well, so maybe she just didn’t realize there was etiquette to be followed when planning a destination wedding.
I’m glad to know now! And I’m even more glad we decided not to get married on Tybee Island!
Post # 6
OP I totally missed that part about paying for your own meals I guess I just skipped right over it! You should NEVER have to pay for your own meals they should be feeding you aspecially if you travelled all that way, but accomodations are acceptable to pay for. There was no reception or anything? DW’s always still have a dinner and reception!
Post # 7
THere was a small cake, sandwich, cheese and fruit reception afterwards, but that night when we all went to the big dinner, everyone paid for themselves.
I’m not complaining by any means because I’d have gone regardless. It just got me thinking about those weddings once I started reading all of the desitination wedding threads here.
Post # 8
I have never heard of anyone having guests pay for their own meals at a reception (or after ceremony) dinner, I’m not sure why that aspect would be different for a destination wedding vs local wedding. If anything I usually hear of people inviting all guests to the rehearsal dinner or trying to host welcome drinks or something extra to show appreciation for everyone traveling, but that of course depends on their budget.
I think in general guests are expected to pay for their own travel arrangements, although usually the bride and groom at least negotiate with the hotels to get discounted room rates etc to try to make it affordable for guests. At least that’s what I’ve seen at the destination weddings I’ve been to.
Post # 9
Darling Husband and I paid for our parents’ entire trips (besides spending money). Our other guests paid for their own hotel/airfare.
Our resort was all-inclusive so all food and drinks (including a “welcome” dinner and the dinner after the wedding) were included.
Post # 10
I think for DWs, the couple is not obliged to pay for flights/accomodation/other expenses for guests but they do have to of course pay for the wedding+reception.
That said, many couples try to cover some costs (sponsor an activity/accomodation/something) if they can. We provided accomodation for our direct family and when we met some of our guests before the wedding, we paid for their drinks/dinner but that was it. Couldn’t afford more;)