(Closed) Destination wedding regrets?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 16
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t know what universe some Bess live in that all their family and friends live in one place that’s driving distance from each other. Even if I didn’t have a *destination* wedding, some of my closest friends and family would have to travel for my wedding. How silly to take it so personally that a person has a wedding in a different location other than where you, particularly invited guest, lives.

I’ve traveled for weddings and it’s been fun. It’s an excuse to leave home and have fun with my partner.

 

Post # 17
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ours is a semi-destination (about a 2 hour drive from home) so most people are booking hotel rooms for the night. Although, we do have a lot of guests flying in as well- so no matter the location, they would have to travel anyway. All of our guests so far seem very excited to come even though they have to travel- the spot we chose is a place lots of people like to visit anyway. I do sort of feel guilty, but hey- if they don’t want to come and spend the money, they don’t have to. We are getting married in our dream venue and I can’t imagine getting married anywhere else, so it made sense for us.

Post # 18
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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smoocherific:  a forum doesn’t mean a free for all lol…I wouldn’t go onto a post asking how Bees were getting on with TTC and start ranting about how I don’t want kids and can’t understand why anyone else does! The OP asked a question, if it doesn’t apply to you, move on and find a thread that does! 

Why don’t you start a new thread about people’s opinions on DW’S and rant to your hearts content on there…

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  SellyJo.
Post # 19
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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SellyJo:  clearly people either can’t read or they think their opinion matters more than the topic at hand…

“Destination wedding regrets” does not equal “why do you hate destination weddings”

smh… people on the bee I tell ya *chuckles*

Post # 20
Member
7140 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m doing a domestic destination, so it won’t cost my guests $2k, by any means.  But we’re also hoping to only have 25-30 people out of the 40 we invited.

So far I have no regrets.  We’re paying for it ourselves, so the small destination wedding helps with costs.  We’re spoiling the guests with good food (steak+lobster is one option) and a beautiful location, so I’m hoping they find it worth it.  It will be either a plane ride or a day or two drive for all the guests.

However, we’re planning on doing small celebrations in each of our hometowns to celebrate with people who couldn’t make it.  I have a big family, so they would be sad if we didn’t do that.

Post # 21
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

I agree that rsvp’s are optional but let’s face it when it’s close family it’s not. 

I’ve known a few who deemed that specific family members and friends  didn’t love them “enough” because they didn’t scrimp and save to attend thier wedding. Judging other’s purchases the person made and saying things such as “well if they put that money aside it could have paid half thier way. ”  oh it didn’t matter that it was a one vehicle couple who needed a new (to them) vehicle to get to work. No its selfish. Basing thier ability to attend and correlating it too how much you mean to them.

I will agree with others if your family is all over the place sometimes it’s easier especially with the bundles you get. But for myself where in my universe yes everyone is within 4 hours of eachother it’s not.  Not to mention you can come for a weekend as opposed to taking much of your vacation time. 

 

Post # 22
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had a Destination Wedding, and it was the best day of my life. I have a huge family, extended family, etc. When I thought about the guest list, and thought about the pressure of inviting my cousin’s friend’s beautician, I thought hell to the no. I didn’t want Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor drama. (I told everyone that the Wynn in Vegas would only allow me 2 people in wedding party, and so I was able to have the two people I know wouldn’t give me any drama. My cousin and BF. Went perfectly) I didn’t want any of the drama I see you ladies posting about.

 

We wanted 30-40 of our closest to join us, but 78 people came!  I was so surprised. We had already told people that we understood if they couldn’t make it, but they were on board! People that I didn’t send an invitation to were talking about their Flight accommodations! I had to change reception venues because it was originally at this beautiful restaurant at the Wynn, but they only accommodated 50. We ended up spending much more money because I figured since I was having a Destination Wedding, I would go all out for my guests,but there ended up being double the guests! We paid and help pay for anyone who we really wanted there, but was having trouble. I had these incredibly expensive centerpeices that I had to double Because there were twice as many tables! I gave my MOH’s many gifts, including jewelry from Tiffany’s, because it was only two of them, we stayed at a ballerific suite at The Cosmopolitan, the list goes on and on…So, we didn’t save money. We also made sure to stress “no gifts”. Being there was plenty. People still gave us money, and we were so touched, but for the most part people kept their gifts and used if for their accommodations, which is what we wanted. 

Anyway, we have never regretted it. We got all of our favorite people in one room, plus some extras. Lol. A couple of family members complained originally, but I gave zero phucks about who thought it was selfish because I refused to be one of those brides who cried everyday trying to please everyone, which would have been closer to 300 people if we had it locally. Sure, when the guest list mounted it was some stress, but overall we pleased ourselves, and you know what? People still talk about that being the best wedding and trip of their lives! 

Post # 23
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

We got back from our destination wedding in Costa Rica on December 1st. We stayed at an all-inclusive and had 29 guests join my husband and I for an unforgettable and beautiful week in paradise.

Not only was it was a dream for my husband and I to be married in such a gorgeous place! But also, it was chance for our families and friends to have a holiday together. We don’t think there will ever be an opportunity for us to do something quite like this again, with this same group of people and that makes it really special to us.

We did have a few people who didn’t acknowledge being invited, but we do understand that everyone has their own set of responsibilities, obligations and finances. However, all of our VIPs made it to the wedding! And the guests who did attend were excited to be there. Absolutely no one was made to feel pressured into joining us.

Having a destination wedding made things so easy for us, in terms of planning the wedding. We picked from a selection of wedding packages, decorations and meals and our onsite wedding coodinator took care of the rest! we have absolutely no regrets for our decision to have a destination wedding!

Post # 24
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee

When I cpmmented on destination weddings, I wasn’t talking about someone driving 2-4 hours away.

im talking about true destinations: a cruise wedding, weddings in Mexico/dominican republic, ext when you don’t have family there. Ext.

im traveling 5 hours for my best friends wedding in April, she did the same for me. However, that’s managable. And I don’t have to skip work and spent $2k to fly to another country. Yes, I can make a quick trip to another country, but after spending that type of money, you might as well spend some time there. I don’t need my vacation location being picked for me. That’s all. 

an elopement of a couple who dreams of getting married in another country is awesome, sweet, and they don’t expect others to work around them. So that’s very different.

 

Post # 25
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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MeandMyLouboutins:  This! And they’re still going lol 😉 

Post # 26
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I had a semi-destination wedding at 2 hours away, but a majority of our guests were travelling anyway so it really wouldn’t have made much difference if we had it where we lived (which we tried). We rented a ranch property so mostly everyone stayed with us and we covered that cost. I don’t have any regrets because we had it in a place where we truly love and consider a second home, and all our guests know that. We also picked a date where kids were out of school so some family members decided to extend the weekend and turn it into a small vacation. It was great!

Post # 27
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Our wedding was still within the US (Florida Panhandle) but was a destination wedding.  DH’s family is from Minnesota, and mine is from Ontario.  There was no way to have a wedding without many of the guests having to travel.  Was it a bit sad to not have all the friends and family there that would have come to a local wedding?  Sure.  But we had a blast, everything was beautiful, we got to spend a lot of time with our guests instead of the typical two minute “nice to see you, thanks for coming” you get at a large wedding.  Wouldn’t have changed it for anything.  Two months later and people still comment to us how it was the most fun they’ve ever had at a wedding.

Post # 28
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

I had a destination wedding 10 years ago and do not regret it. We had 20 people there with us (immediate family plus some aunts and uncles who had never been to the country and saw it as an excuse for a vacation). yes, I loved my actual wedding, but what I loved more was the relaxing week with family. It was like a family reunion, but nobody has to cook or clean and there were always drinks! as for not being able to celebrate with friends, my parents took care of that by hosting a party in their home when we got back to celebrate the wedding. 

Post # 29
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I had a Destination Wedding and don’t regret it at all. I had my wedding my way (our way) and didn’t have to invite people I didn’t particularly want there, such as family I hadn’t seen in 10 years and our parents’ friends who I had never met. 

We had a very small wedding with 10 people and those people were our nearest and dearest.  We had fun the entire week as a group.  And no, I didn’t expect gifts and specifically asked that they not get any because a Destination Wedding is expensive enough.  

Post # 30
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Any wedding, regardless of location, can be done without being considerate of guests. Costumes required, for example, can be really obnoxious.

Our wedding was 2 hours away from my hometown, so not that much of a destination, but there were some people who had trouble figuring out how to attend, so we helped them. DH’s family had to fly in from all over anyways, so this gave them a more interesting destination, and everyone more comfortable weather.

We don’t regret the location at all, but if we had to do it over, frequently we feel that it’d be so much easier if we had 30-40 guests instead of 100. But then again it was nice seeing some extended family I haven’t seen in years, and if I hadn’t had that, I think I might regret it, just a little.

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