(Closed) Destination wedding regrets?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 31
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

I had one and I don’t regret it at all. I gave people over a years notice and we told everyone if they couldn’t come we totally understand and no hard feelings at all. In our case a Destination Wedding was actually the easiest thing for our friends and families because we are from opposite coasts and people would have to travel to come. So we picked a very affordable location and made sure our guests were very well taken care of for our wedding. Some people did not get us a gift and we didn’t care cause we were glad they just came at all. Everyone thanked me for the Destination Wedding and some of our friends got to take a kid free vacation for the first time since being parents. It worked out good for us because we knew not everyone would be able to travel but we picked the easiest thing for the group,about 50. I had a full wedding dancing and all. It was the best day ever ! 

Post # 32
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

I haven’t had nor am I planning a destination wedding, but the one I’ve attended was amazing – there were only 40 people, and the whole thing was very personal and everyone got to spend a ton of time with the couple.  It was a very expensive destination (Italy, coming from the US), but as family friends we didn’t feel a strong obligation to go – we just wanted to.

What sort of perplexes me are the people who get upset that their parents (or other VIPs) are unable or unwilling to attend their destination wedding.  If there is anyone whose absence at your wedding would be devastating, you should absolutely make sure they are willing and able to travel – and if not, re-evaluate your priorities. 

Post # 33
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Sedona Golf Resort

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TaraMay_:  We did the same thing. We rented a house where we had the “rehearsal” dinner at. It was the first time our families had a chance to meet, so I wanted it to be informal and comfortable. We housed both our parents there and had our wedding on 4th of July to minimize the amount if time people took off work to attend. 

I also found several hotels in the area at different price points that offered a group rate to give my guests options. Of course not everyone was able to attend and that is sort of the idea. When your mother has 8 siblings and they all have 4 or more children plus their grown children, you find ways to keep that guest list manageable. We had about 50 people total and it was perfect. As I mentioned earlier, the only challenge for me was trying to not be overly accommodating to everyone else. 

Post # 34
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Only regret I had was that I was way too worried about spending time with everyone that I was extremely stressed and worried and over stimulated. We had 55 people come and I wish I wouldn’t of let people’s opinions and complaints get to me (I am a people pleaser so it’s hard) I regret staying at the resort we did as it was way too big for everyone but you live and learn

As far as the opinions on how destination weddings are selfish – I respect your opinion but I don’t agree. People have a right to say no to coming. I’ve spent 1000 on weddings that were only 5 hours away in the middle of buttf*ck nowhere Saskatchewan whereas people came for only 500 more for an entire week. But to each their own, I know on google there are tons of topics on this and opinions and life is about having opinions and everyone is entitled to theirs J

 

Cheers!

Post # 35
Member
9081 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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JK0487:  I’ve seen a few posts on here about people who were disappointed in the lack of turnout for their Destination Wedding. I’ve also seen posts (and most of the responses to this post) saying it was great and they wouldn’t change a thing. I’m sure it comes down to expectations.

Post # 36
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I am having a Destination Wedding which is VERY far away from my home (Canada to Mexico). Other than my Fiance and I there isn’t anyone else who is required to be there but we are helping a few family members who would like to come but maybe can’t afford it.

We originally talked about eloping but a lot of our family and friends (approx. forty people who specifically said something) wanted to come and so we decided to invite people (sending about 60 invitations). We are also having a bbq once we get back to celebrate with anyone who wasn’t able to come/wants to celebrate. There is no hurt feelings if people can’t come because it’s a lot of money, that’s where I think most people have regrets because they wanted people there who couldn’t come.

To the people calling Destination Wedding selfish and saying unnecessary/rude things, it’s amazing to me that you have any friends/family members who would want to share their day with such an ignorant person. It is perfectly acceptable for people to RSVP no and the wedding is not about you/whether or not you can come.

Post # 37
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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BookTea:  It is so selfish of people to invite you to a wedding that isn’t within driving distance to where you live!  How dare they!  They were probably thinking you’d just say no if you weren’t interested, you should go a step further and send them a long letter explaining why you think they’re selfish for having the wedding they choose (that they are paying for) and simply sending you an invitation in case you were interested in attending.  You are the one who is entitled, you think they’re rude for hosting their wedding somewhere other than where you chose to live.  

My friends and family are from all over.  There is no location on the planet that would allow for more than two of our guests in any given location (assuming we chose one where someone lived) to not have to travel to be there if they wanted to attend. 

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MstoMrsH:  +1

Post # 38
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I had a domestic Destination Wedding in New Orleans in October. His family is in NJ and my family is in MA, so people would have had to travel anyway. It was an absolutely AMAZING time, most of our guests had a blast and were very thankful to be included. We did host things the day before and day after the wedding for all of the guests, and I worked with people to find housing within their budget. I have a small cadre of friends in NOLA, but most of our 80some guests traveled to celebrate with us. 

To @Smoocherific’s point– there was at least one person that was upset with my choice– but I think she would have been upset regardless.

Post # 39
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I am  it having a Destination Wedding, however, I was talking to someone about their’s and they were regretting it. Similar to 

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Bellagiobride: , they expected only half, or less than, of the guests to RSVP yes. But they are ALL coming. So now,Mather than the intimate, lates back wedding she thoughted they’d be planning, she is planning a wedding for 80 people – but from overseas! She cants talk to vendors in person, has to rely on reviews etc for hair and makeup choices and now is trying to figure out how to get her dress there. 

I’m that it will be beautiful in the end, but certainly not what they wanted and a lot more money and stress than they bargained for. 

Post # 40
Member
5285 posts
Bee Keeper

JK0487:  I had a destination wedding in Cuba May 2013(I live in Canada) It was the most fun we ever had and I dont regret it one bit! We had 70 guests come which was alot more then we thought would be able to make it and it was a trip of a lifetime! We made sure to keep the price decent (Under $1300), gave people over a years notice and we told people that there would be no hard feelings if they couldnt make it. The best part about it was the pictures..I would not have been able to have such amazing wedding pictures if I had a wedding at home

Post # 41
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

SMH at bees who feel like it is their place to impose their views on others – especially when that view does not translate to other INDIVIDUAL situations.  

Fiance and I love to travel, I have lived on three continents, and I have family and friends all over the place.  Actually, Fiance does not even live in my state, so we each travel a couple times a month.  The only people who live in my state who I will be inviting are my two sisters and about 10 friends.  A destination wedding makes perfect sense in my situation.

It has nothing to do with costs – my expenses will be much higher than if I did something at “home.”  I chose my favorite island and a secluded beach that has no amenities – not even electricity – so everything has to be brought in.

No one is forced to come.  There are some people who will have to save if they wish to attend, and I am paying for airfare for some family members.  Others can simply decline.  Yet, I am staring down a list of about 100 people who have said they will attend.  Most people are excited to see this place I have been raving about and which they have never visited.

I am always excited to attend a destination wedding because it is just another excuse to travel, so……………. And even if none of the above were true, I would do a destination wedding anyway, because the location is one of my favorite places in the world.

Post # 42
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica

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discoK:  Which Resort did you get married at?  Im planning one at Dreams Las Mareas…

Post # 43
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

 

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BookTea:  Oh wow, thanks for sharing that. I never knew people could feel this way about destination weddings. I’ve received a ton of invitations for Destination Wedding and although I’ve only made it to one of them, I never thought they were self-absorbed or anything, I just wished I had the time to  go to all of them.

The fact that I’ve moved so much in my life and have friends everywhere may be why I feel that way though. Basically everyone is traveling for my wedding, I’ve gone to weddings in different continents and it couldn’t be any other way because all of my friends and family live in different places. I wonder if some of the local people I’ve invited feel this way. Hopefully not!

Post # 44
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m currently planning a destination wedding as well. It worked for us since our family and friends are all over the place and there would’ve been nowhere that worked for everyone. Plus we wanted it to be rather intimate and fun, which is perfect for a destination wedding.

Am I mistaken in believing that a wedding is SUPPOSED to be about the couple? so if they want a destination wedding, how on earth is that ‘selfish’….it is a wedding….ABOUT THEM…to reflect their tastes.

God forbid someone invite people to their destination wedding! How dare they invite you to share in one of the most special days of their lives, something they’ve spent a lot of time, energy and money planning. 

I know a destination wedding isn’t for everyone but for someone to feel insulted by an invite and stoop to just throwing it out – it is amazing you get any wedding invitations at all! That is why there is a decline on an RSVP. Guess what? If you dont want to go – you dont have to, no need to go on a rant and think they’re terribly selfish.

Post # 45
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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bkprettygirl:  We got married at the Occidental Grand Papagayo in Guanacaste. It was a smaller, intimate resort, but SO LOVELY and staff there were so kind and warm. They made our wedding dream a reality!

I just googled your resort and it looks GORGEOUS! You’ll have an amazing time!

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