(Closed) Destination wedding-should I expect gifts from my guests?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: Should I expect a wedding gift from my guests who are attending my DW?
    Yes, you should have the same gift expectations as you would a wedding at home! : (14 votes)
    8 %
    Yes, but the gift should and probably will be less than an average wedding gift. : (49 votes)
    27 %
    No, your guests' attendance at your DW is their gift and nothing more should be expected. : (118 votes)
    65 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    You should never “expect” a gift from your guests at any wedding, but I’d say be prepared for gifts to be less.  We usually gift around $200 if Darling Husband and I attend a wedding, and more for close relatives.  We attended his sister’s Destination Wedding, and after all was said and done it cost us $5000 to attend.  For that and other reasons, we gave them a lovely card with $100 in it.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    DWs are very expensive for the guest. And while many couples think of it as the guests getting a vacation out of it, keep in mind that they may not have chosen this time/location/resort for a personal vacation. For that reason, don’t expect a gift. Just be happy that some of your friends and family were willing to do so much to be there for your special day.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    You should never expect gifts, and since you’re having a Destination Wedding I wouldn’t hesitate to pass through the grapevine (via word of mouth) that their presence in your Destination Wedding is gift enough. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    I would count their presence as a gift. Especially if they attended a shower and gave a gift at that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    635 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @Shell29:  Most of my guests will be spending about $1000 to $2000 to come to our wedding, depending on how long they are staying.


    Wow. I would view any gifts as bonuses, but you might be disappointed if you expect them. Yes, you should always bring at least a little something to a wedding, but this is very, very expensive. It’s even worse if guests can only make a quick trip in and out for the wedding. Expecting gifts on top of these types of costs is not reasonable. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    741 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Personally, I’m just gratefull people are going out of their way to use their vacation time and money to make it to my wedding. I have no right to get disappointed if they can’t give more than that – why would I want to focus on something material when they are flying halfway across the world to support me? 

    I say drop the expectations. The people who can afford to get you something will, and those who are stretched on resources who are making an effort regardless won’t have to deal with your disappointment. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Our guests are probably not spending quite as much as yours to come to our wedding, but based on the presents we’ve received so far, I’d say don’t be surprised if your gifts are of lower monetary value than what you think is standard for a wedding. SapphireSun’s example sounds about right to me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1920 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’m having a Destination Wedding and am expecting zero gifts and in fact want zero gifts. I would feel terrible if people got me a gift, I truly feel that their taking their time/effort and money to come to my wedding is their gift and I wouldn’t want anything other than that.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @Shell29:  I’d just expect no gifts and be pleasantly surprised if someone decides to give you one

    Post # 15
    Member
    2388 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We had a Destination Wedding and made it very clear to all attending guests that we did not expect any gifts. I feel since they spend a good chunk of change to attend, they didn’t need to spend extra on a gift. I honestly would have felt guilty if they did give us gifts. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Shell29:  You shouldn’t expect any gifts, especially if people are going to be shelling out a couple thousand dollars.  A couple thousand is wayyyy more than the average wedding gift for a non Destination Wedding, so I don’t think you should expect a gift on top of people’s presence.  My FH and I went to a Destination Wedding last year and it cost us about 3k, and we didn’t purchase a gift on top of that.

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