Ok, thanks for the replies. Most of the people I invited are not coming for obvious reasons, financial, time off from work, etc. We, too, told everyone that told us they couldn’t come that we completely understand and have no hard feelings about it. I think it all depends on the dynamics of your families. For us, we don’t have a tight-knit extended family. My family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) is big, but I’m not really close to any of them as an adult. My immediate family I am close with and of course I cleared my decision to have a Destination Wedding with them before I made it official… meaning, I asked them if it was financially feasible for them because we couldn’t afford to pay for them to come, as we are footing the bill for our wedding and all the expenses associated with it on our own (which, as most of us know is a lot, even if it is a DW). My FI’s family is really small and most of them don’t speak to each other due to grudges that happened years ago. We offered to pay for his mother to go, but about five months ago she told us that she didn’t want to come because she is afraid to fly (she is basically afraid of everything so its hard me really understand this). My Fiance was not upset about her not coming (long story). We also chose a destination that was relatively a short flight and also had direct flights- we did this to accomodate his mother and her fear of flying, but of course she is not coming now. We also chose our date so that we didn’t conflict with my FI’s niece’s Holy Communion… of course, his neice (brother’s daughter), brother and their family are not coming and barely told us that they weren’t coming. Its just funny how we tried to accomodate people but in the end, they aren’t coming anyway.
My point of saying all this is because I think ppl’s opinions about a Destination Wedding in general have to do with their family dynamics and money… meaning, if you have a close family (big or small) that you knew would be devastated if they missed your wedding bc they couldn’t afford to come and you (bride and groom) could not afford to pay for their travels, they I think you prob choose not to have a Destination Wedding. For us, my FI’s family seem not to care too much and as I mentioned, my immediate family is coming, but I spoke to them beforehand about it before we officially decided to have our wedding away.
So in sum, our situation as I explained it, is different… not too many close relatives and a tight budget.
In the end, it appears that mostly friends are coming to our wedding, some of which are in the wedding and some not.
My mom and bridesmaids are having a brial shower for me (my mom is paying for the shower)… I don’t know if having a shower is too much, but as I explained above, most people are not coming so I suppose this is a way for them to give us a gift (if they want to). Is this being greedy? I guess I never really thought about it as such until reading some of these responses. I might verbally relay this information to my bridal party since I know they are incurring more expenses than the guests who chose to come that are not in the wedding.
Also, I noticed ppl mentioned that bringing home a ton of gifts from their guests at their Destination Wedding would be a hassle (which it def would considering all the luggage you have without gifts). I’ve actually never given a gift for a wedding that wasn’t money or a check. I give a gift from a registry at a shower and then a monetary gift at a wedding. I thought that was somewhat standard (a monetary gift at a wedding), but I’m starting to believe that this must differ from where you live/where you’re from. All my friends do the same as I do in terms of a gift.