(Closed) Destination wedding VENT

posted 10 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: How To Cope
    Just Relax and focus on the Positve... : (40 votes)
    82 %
    Let ppl know how you feel : (7 votes)
    14 %
    Helpful suggestions : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    2453 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @starfish0116:  if you were talking about an uncle or cousin, friend, coworker or even stranger, I’d agree with you that it’s not anybody’s business what they spend their money on. But family? Sister? Brother? Father?!

    who cares if it’s not a place you would prefer to visit? Your brother/sister/son/daughter is getting married there, are they not important enough to you to spend that money to see them get married and be a part of their day?

    View original reply
    @June232012:  I had a Destination Wedding, and it was relatively easy to handle only because I had so few guests. It was, however, nerve-wracking when my in-laws waited till the eleventh hour to book their flight tickets, but I knew they were going to be there whatever it took.

    I’m sorry that your father is behaving that way towards you. I don’t think that’s acceptable at all – to spend $10k on his other children and then lie to your face about when he booked the cruise.

    Post # 18
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Wow thats brutal! Sorry you are dealing with this, I am also getting married in Jamaica, we were surprised that some people didnt book that we thought would (cousins, best friends) but our resort is expensive and we understand, but a father?!?! Come on thats bad. It might not be your business how he spends his money on a regular basis but when he says now he cant afford it? How dare he? That would absolutely break my heart if that was my father! I cant even wrap my head around this! Sahme on him, I would sit him down and tell him how upset you are and see how he reacts.  

    Post # 19
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @Pappy8:  Surprised My jaw has dropped to the floor after reading what your aunt did!!! what a crappy person, you’re better off NOT having her there! Good riddance!!

     

    @OP, the same reaction goes for your father. I can’t believe some things that people do to others. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    6303 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @strawbs:  Okay, maybe I could have worded it a little nicer, but I still stand by what I said. I don’t think it should matter how the OP’s aunt spends her money, or if she chooses to buy her kids cars instead of attend a wedding. Does it suck? Absolutely. I totally get that it’s a shitty thing for the OP’s dad to lie about it, and I know she’s probably really disappointed in her dad. I agree, she has a right to be. It would (and did) hurt my feelings that my parents wouldn’t travel for me to have a wedding where I wanted to have it.

    who cares if it’s not a place you would prefer to visit? Your brother/sister/son/daughter is getting married there, are they not important enough to you to spend that money to see them get married and be a part of their day?

    I have to disagree with this. I work hard for my money, as do most people I know, and get very little time off of work. I think it’s really unfair to expect people to spend a lot of money (and vacation time) to travel somewhere they don’t want to go, or get upset if they don’t want to spend their hard earned money to go there. I LOVE my brother dearly, I will absolutely attend his wedding wherever he chooses to have it. That being said, I’m really not thrilled knowing it’ll probably be Costa Rica, which I have NO desire to go to. He’s a big surfer and will most likely choose his Destination Wedding location based on that. The area he likes has little in the way of other activities or accommodations that I’d want to stay at.

    I think at the end of the day we all have to remember that having a Destination Wedding means you have to be okay with people, no matter how important they are, possibly not coming. 

    OP : I really hope it’s something you and your dad can work out, and he can find a way to attend your wedding. I apologize if my previous reply sounded harsh.

    Post # 21
    Member
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @June232012:  I’m in the same boat. My dad is not attending. He even had the nerve to call me up and tell me that I screwed him over by having my wedding in the state that I’m currently living in and then complained about how expensive it is to send my 2 half sisters out to be bridesmaids. (One just graduated college and the other is a sophomore) Um I had 2 jobs when I was their age… it isn’t my fault he has pampered them and they both don’t have real jobs… Ugh. families are rough. You just need to make the best of it. The people who truly want to be there will be. You can’t let it get to you!

    Post # 22
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @June232012:  I’m getting married in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic in September this year.  I sent out save the dates with the info and website to get all the details in early February.  And I already told everyone after we got engaged in April 2011 that we were doing a destination wedding in Fall 2012 because of expense and stress of a traditional wedding. So, basically everyone knew  for  year and half about the wedding.  We invited about 20 people, but expected about 8 to actually attend. Initally, everyone was excited, saying that they wanted to go, etc.  But as the time gets closer to the date, everyone is dropping of the face of the earth.  I’m not hounding anyone or even mentioning it.  I know a lot of people just don’t have the money, it’s a big commitment.  What I’m upset about is that only 1 of my friends and her fiance will be there, specifically my parents and my best friennd aren’t coming. With my parents, it’s not a money issue, but just too much of a hastle to go.  I’m the only child, I might mention.  And they were saying that they were coming originally.  As for my best friend, she was the one hounding me for info and arrangements bc she wanted to go so badly.  Money is a bit of issue, but she had plenty of time to pay off the amt. and could make payments, I even found someone to go with her, instead of her husband, so could save money.  I mentioned it only a couple of times since sending the save the dates.  She isn’t going and the worse part is that I have seen her only once in six months and haven’t spoken to her in months.  I’ve tried to call and email, she knows I’m not going to pressure her or say anything about it to her.  I feel like our friendship is over.  I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up about her and my parents going.

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