(Closed) Destination wedding vent!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

She’s being the brat.  We are having a Destination Wedding for the sole purpose that certain people can’t attend.  Even if no one showed up, we’d have a faboulous wedding moon.  When it comes to a Destination Wedding, a bride should know to expect that not everyone can make it (and this includes family).  On the other hand, I don’t think you should turn “anti-DW”.  If you’d had bad experiences or wouldn’t have chosen it for yourself, that’s not reason to have “had it” it destination type weddings.  I think you’ve misdirected your anger towards a type of wedding rather than a bride who expects you to be there even if you aren’t able to.

Post # 4
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@pinkpriscilla: Has your cousin never worked a day in her life? Even spending hundreds is hard for me to do. Let alone thousands. 

Destination weddings are nice; but they cost a LOT of money. Especially for guests; it’s not their wedding…why should they be expected to spend hundreds/thousands of dollars? I guess I don’t understand it (not that they are bad).

If you are unsure of your guests ability to get time off of work/be able to afford the trip then why the hell are you (directed at the bride/groom) all bitchy about people being unable to make the trip? It’s a HUGE commitment.

Being unable to attend a destination wedding doesn’t mean you don’t love the couple any less….it may just be a simple matter of not having an vacation days or being financial unable to afford the trip. Sometimes it just comes down to the availability of money; that’s life. Sorry your cousin is being such a bitch about the whole thing. 

Post # 5
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m a little anti-DW. It seems like a bit of a jerky thing to do to your loved ones unless you can afford to pay for everybody’s trips. And I feel like saying that it’s ok if nobody comes is a way of making yourself not responsible. There are going to be some people who will move heaven and earth to be there (e.g. parents) and will be forced to pay for an expensive trip because they love you so much. 

I would have loved to have a Destination Wedding, but I know that it would have really inconvienced a lot of people, so I chose not to. 

Post # 6
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

ETA: Having a destination wedding is a lot cheaper for us than having a local wedding.  We live in the most expensive city in Canada. =(  Average cost in this city is at least $35k.  The Destination Wedding will be costing like… half of that.

Post # 7
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

we had a Destination Wedding, BUT it was in Maryland.  So people really could afford to come.  So we had the beach wedding, but the family could afford it.  When thinking of a Destination Wedding I was always wondering what the ettiqute was, like who would pay for what.  It does seem selfish to make the guests pay for it.  But that is me.

Post # 8
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mrsbruff2b:

You could drive down to where I am (K-W area) and have it for a third of that! I’m just teasing… I’m sure your Destination Wedding will be wonderful!

Post # 10
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

 I think she is being a brat. I am having a destination wedding and it is up to the guests when they show up as long as they are there for the day of the wedding. The flights are quite cheap and we blocked hotel rooms for very cheap as well. So anyone that asks that of their guests is dreaming that is way to much money.

Post # 11
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Your cousin is being a brat.  When you have a destination wedding, you have to understand that a much larger group of people will be forced to say no due to the time and expense required.

I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of destination weddings either (and by destination I mean going somewhere just because it is pretty and fun, not getting married back in your hometown even though you no longer live there).  I want to be able to celebrate these important times with friends and family but if someone is requiring me to take a long trip to the Carribean to do that, it isn’t going to be able to happen.  The vast majority of my two weeks of vacation time a year are gone just from seeing my family for the holidays.

I know it is their choice, but I’d just like to be able to be there with them and their choices prevent that from being possible.

Post # 12
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@pinkpriscilla: I think your cousin is being unrealistic by pressuring you to be there.  As a bride who chooses a Destination Wedding, you have to be able to expect that people can’t or won’t make it (AND BE OKAY WITH IT).  From a guests perspective, if you really feel that being invited to a Destination Wedding is an inconvenience for you, just opt out!!  It’s not necessary to hate on it.  Think of it this way, it’s one less thing to worry about.  Aside from maybe a gift, you have no other obligations! 

My point of view is, when it comes to a destination wedding, neither guest nor bride should feel offended or insulted (expectations or invitatons-wise).  One is expliciby linked to the other. 

Post # 13
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re doing a Destination Wedding for the same reasons that PP stated above. It’s insanely expensive to have a wedding around here. 

However, I don’t care who comes and doesn’t come. Just ignore your cousin. I had a friend do the same thing to me when she had her Destination Wedding and another friend who was totally understanding for hers. 

I’ve actually told all of my friends that while I would love for them to be there that I totally understand that they may not come and I don’t really care what their reasons are. 

Post # 14
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

“I’ve actually told all of my friends that while I would love for them to be there that I totally understand that they may not come and I don’t really care what their reasons are.”

I have also said this!~

Post # 15
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I am doing a Destination Wedding for the sole purpose that I don’t want anybody there.  I wouldn’t dream of begging anyone to come or guilting them.

The topic ‘Destination wedding vent!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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