(Closed) Destination wedding, whats your take

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Tropicalbride:  I think the rule is that people who aren’t invited to the wedding shouldn’t be invited to a shower. But, Fiance and I are having a semi destination wedding. Friends and family who were “invited” to the wedding but who won’t be able to make it were invited, came, brought gifts, and had a great time. I don’t think any of them minded. Actually a couple of them I hadn’t had a chance to give invites to before, so I gave them t here. I don’t know if that’s ok or not, but nobody had a problem. Good luck

Post # 4
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor wants to throw me a shower too. I’m not comfortable with it bc hardly anybody is invited to my Destination Wedding. We are doing a really small one. I still don’t know what I am going to do about it.

Post # 5
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@thenuggetbride:  Maybe you could talk to a few close friends/family members about it? I think that ins ome ways, yes, a shower is a gift giving occasion, reserved for people who are invited to the wedding so you don’t seem gift grabby. I did refrain from inviting a couple of poeple who I would have liked to see maybe, because we don’t spend much time together anymore and I didn’t want to seem like I was inviting them just for presents. But, those who did come (it was actually thrown by my aunt who probably isn’t going to be able to make it to the wedding) didn’t seem to have a problem with it. And my thought was, we were providing them food and fun. I think they liked the chance to be included even though they can’t be at the wedding.

Maybe phrase the question as “I would love to be able to celebrate together, but I don’t want people to feel like we’re doing this for presents, we just want to be able to share our joy with the people close to us, what do you think about that? Would it be better to maybe have an engagement party?” If your friends and family are for it, which it seems like so far they are, I think it’s probably ok. Etiquitte is important, but it’s really about making people comfortable I think. 

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