(Closed) Destination Weddings – The Good… The Bad.. and the UGLY.

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 18
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh…Just read one of your updates!

So because it’s a Destination Wedding…doing favors and gift baskets and such might not be such a great idea. Definitely safe to skip that since it might be a hassle bringing things back on a plane for some people. I think because it’s a Destination Wedding, you can definitely skip some of the regularly expected wedding trimmings.

As for paying for everyone…girl, are you crazy!? Maybe as a compromise you could pay for IMMEDIATE family only? Parents, siblings, then draw the line. I wouldn’t even pay for people’s accomodation, no matter who they are. Save that money, buy a house! The people who really care for you will find a way to be there for the most part. For those who cannot make it…just know and understand that sometimes we cannot have everything we want. On your day you will only be concentrating on those who are there with you…you won’t have time probably to even think about the others. We considered every positive RSVP a bonus, and expected all the negative RSVP’s. And I know you said Fiance will be getting a large raise in the next year….but would you be putting yourselves into debt to pay for everyone, based on the expected raise? If this is the case…..I would DEFINITELY say no to paying for everyone. Do not put yourself into debt for it, at least not anything more than you could safely handle should one of you get hit by a bus and be out of commission for a while in the work area. You never know what the future holds….guard against it now. Again….if you really feel the need to be SO generous….draw the line at IMMEDIATE family.

Post # 19
Member
2149 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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@Diamond84:  What you and your fiance are doing is very generous. I’m sure your friends and family will appreciate you helping them attend your wedding. I’d never expect as a guest that my way would be paid for, but it surely would help me be able to attend if all i had to pay was part of my stay, whether that is resort or airfare. 

And I definitely agree that you should only be paying for this if you are comfortable enough financially to do it. Most people couldn’t dream of being able to do this for their friends and family, but if you can, more power to you!!

Post # 20
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@Diamond84:  

I did actually do some googling and research on our resort, and specifically the wedding coordinator. He got some stellar reviews. Unfortunately, since we booked the venue 3 years before the actual wedding date, he left the resort after we booked. I was definitely more than a little freaked out. BUT, they have a woman doing it now who took over from him who’s been there 2 years. She has been an absolute DELIGHT to work with. She’s really thorough and efficient, and she’s asked questions about things I’d never even thought of. She recommended a list of vendors to me as well that they’ve used in the past who did great jobs, so I was able to take a couple of those names off her list for the other things I needed. She’s really great. Every single issue or question I’ve had she responded to right away. She gave me her PERSONAL cell # in case I had an urgent question and she wasn’t working. And if I send her an email, she replies right away, then PHONES ME AT WORK to ensure I’m happy with her answer, and to see if there’s anything else I need. I have heard some horror stories from friends about their DW’s, so I count myself as one of those INCREDIBLY lucky ones!!!

Post # 22
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@Diamond84:  Well, I know a lot of villas in Negril due to my research! PM me if you want some ideas!

Post # 23
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 @sweetchiquita12: that’s awesome! we are getting married on may 9th, 2013. we are getting married in cayo santa maria. we are going to memories azul resort. what part are you going to in cuba, and what hotel? it was hard to decide!!

Post # 24
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

For those of you that did a destination wedding, please be completely honest about the planning of it. Is it really as easy as some make it out to be? It was pretty easy and stress free compared to a lot of brides.

Or was it extremely difficult for you? It was not. There were times that were stressful but nothing too crazy.

Where did you have it and how many guests were there?Playa del Carmen, Mexico and we had 20 guests.

Was the biggest reason why people didn’t attend the wedding be cost of the trip? Everyone we invited attended.

Or was that not really an issue and it was the travel aspect more of an inconvenience for them?Everyone we invited attended.

Do you recommend using a wedding planner on site? Was it hard dealing with vendors? We used the wedding planner that was included with our wedding. She delt with vendors for us.

Post # 25
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Diamond84:  I recently had my Destination Wedding in St Thomas and it was awesome! If you are really thinking of inviting 50-60 ppl and offering to pay for the entire trip, I’m afraid you will be opening up a can of worms! That is A LOT of money! Maybe as one PP said, offering to pay for their stay at the resort so they will only have to pay for flights? I think that would be a better idea. Also, about the guest list…….we were brutally honest with all of our friends, family, acquantences (spelling?)….we only invited our parents, our siblings, their significant others, and 1 friend each. PERIOD. We had a total of 16 guests. IT WAS AWESOME! Small, intimate, and beautiful! 

As far as for packages, our package included everything. The venue, ceremony decorations, officiant, photography, videography, bouquet, grooms boutonnière, honeymoon, etc. The only thing it didn’t include was the food for our luncheon/reception. But for $46 pp for 16 guests? No problem! We won’t mind paying for that! And our wedding planner was awesome! She got in touch with the vendors for us, we didn’t even have to speak to anyone. Whatever you wanted, it was done! We truly had an awesome experience and would not change it for the world! It was great!

Post # 28
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Diamond84:  There’s nothing wrong with paying- it is a very nice gesture but if you tell everyone you are paying, then you have to- even if your fiancé ends up being unemployed (unlikely but still). You don’t want to have to compromise on your for eg. dress to pay for the flight of someone’s partner you met once.. You might end up resenting it. Ultimately, it’s your (and your partner’s) choice- if you think paying it will not financially be a problem for you guys, then sure, go ahead! I know as a guest, I’d be pleased:)

Post # 29
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Diamond84:  We had it at The Ritz Carlton in St. Thomas. They have different packages but we got the one that included the honeymoon. And we just added what we needed but the wedding planners there are awesome and will make your life easier as far as planning! good luck!

Post # 30
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am having my wedding at Sandals in St Lucia. You should check out the sandals resorts, because alot of things are included when you stay there. We are only inviting our immidiate family to the destination wedding and having a small reception here for everyone else when we get home. I am not sure how easy it is to plan a wedding at some locations, but at the one I am staying at, it has been very easy. They set you up with a wedding coordinator right when you book and you are in contact with them (it comes with your package) The only thing extra I am paying for is 50$ a person for a private reception dinner and it comes with a full bar.

With destination weddings, it is nice to pay thier way, but you are not required to. Everyone is required to pay for themselves. I did buy my guests a welcome bag with goodies in it to say thank you for attending.

Good luck!! 🙂

 

Post # 31
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We had a Destination Wedding just a month ago, and honestly I wouldn’t do it again.  I thought it’d be easy-breezy but it was SO stressful.  Even my friend who got married just under 2 years ago said at first she envied me because she wanted a Destination Wedding, but after seeing mine she was SO glad she didn’t.

Planning was ok, we went to Key West and the island was small enough that we only had a handful of vendors to choose from.  I am not heavy into weddings, so I just went off of the reviews I read.

But, once I got down there is when the “fun” started.  We had about 27 guests.  We initially thought we’d try to hang out with them all in bits throughout the trip, but it seemed like every time we turned around we were pulled to entertain people, track them down, and spend time with them – we barely spent time together without people near us.  People always wanted to know where we were going and to join in with our plans, which is GREAT but exhausting.  And we felt kinda obligated because they flew all the way down for our wedding that we wanted to make sure everyone had fun.  My friend who said she was relieved about not having a Destination Wedding after seeing mine made the comment about how all she had to do was worry about her guests for one day, and how she never realized how stressful it would be to worry about them for days straight.  It was also a pain to haul around my dress, get all the errands done like food for a BBQ the night before, steam my dress, prep for a champagne toast, hand out out welcome bags, etc.  I feel like I didn’t even get a vacation for most of the trip!

We did it partially because we wanted a cheaper wedding and partially because we wanted a small one.  In hindsight, we would have totally rather had a slightly larger one – say 50ish – at a really nice intimate and cool restaraunt locally and did something unique like trolley rides around our own city, etc, something fun for everyone.

It was nice though that we didn’t worry about cutting off the guest list, we had a GOREGOUS beach backdrop, steel drummer, and trolley ride around the island.  But we could have made it fun like that at home too.  🙂  Oh well, we’re married now!

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