- 4 years ago
Long story but if you can make it through, help/advise/support would be much appreciated.
My yougest sister has always been… a handful. When we were young and she was the “baby of the family” we all used to dote on her but at some point, things changed. She started to lie and steal for us, from stores, from friends. We would catch her and she would still lie, instinting she had no idea why she was wearing my jewelry or had our cd’s. She didn’t make friends easily, never really caught on to social norms. Playing barbies she always “invited herself over” and we would always say, “you have to wait till we ask.” These may be minor things after years of the lying right to our faces and stealing and everything else, it was so hard to deal with. It got the point where we didn’t even know if she knew what the truth was (and still don’t). I am sure we didn’t make it any easier, us three against her I am sure she felt (and still feels).
Moving on to recent years, she has always dated awful men. Like straight out horrible, well lets call them boys because they certainly are not men. All of them couldn’t keep a job, lived with my sister right away and then made her pay for everything. She herself has never been able to keep a steady job, fired for one reason or another but it was always THEIR fault. It didn’t matter that she had been late 20 times and was always crying and not working… or that they caught her stealing, twice.
Her most recent relationship is where it starts to get really bad. This late summer she tells us she is 5 months pregnant. She waited 5 months to tell us because she was waiting for her boyfriend to decided if he wanted to keep it upon which he finally decided to “roll with it” and so they kept the baby. This sweet little baby girl was born in the beginning of December. In January my sister was out of town and her boyfriend cheated on her, she caught him and took the baby and moved out. She was living with a friend, nice girl with three kids of her own. This friend finally had enough of my sister lying to my parents about what was going on and reached out to them herself. From here, the truth came pouring out.
This boyfriend was physically assualting my sister. I am not sure how many times but I know it was more than once he hit her and I know that one time he choked her to the point of passing out. She called the cops on him this one time but she didn’t leave, until she found out about the cheating. After she found out about the cheating she kept saying it was her fault and she didn’t know what she did. His reason, she was pushing him away sexually, which in truth was that she just had his baby and the doctor said no sex. Excuses much… Oh and it is pretty apparent you has a drinking problem and the violence is when he is drunk from what I understand.
Ok so she moved out, they broke up, good, things might get better… well she never stop talking to him, she went over there several times. They have gone on a couple dates and now they are looking for a new place to live. I have not confirmed this but I don’t doubt that they will be living together if they are not already (at a mutal friends). Neither of them can afford an apartment and their credit is awful after the last apartment they trashed and paid rent late, they aren’t going to find a decent place.
Mostly, I am terrified that I am going to get a phone call that this time he didn’t stop choking her and/or he hurt the baby. My parents are at their wits end. She is 23, they can not just come and pick her up and take her home, dragging her kicking and screaming (she lives 4.5 hrs away from them but same city as me). She has asked them from money which they have refused. They told her they can only help her if she comes home. Child Protective Services has been brought up by the friend she was staying with and honestly if my sister moves back in with this guy I am pretty sure she will call (which I am not apposed to). We have the Women’s Rape and Abuse Crisis Center here but I don’t think I can drag her there either… I just don’t know what to do. If I get that phone call and did nothing… I don’t know that I could live with myself either.
There are so many other details I could talk about but for your sake, I will leave out. Thank you for taking the time.
Concerned sister here… looking for a miricle