(Closed) Devastated

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 77
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@ @Lillianna:

Sorry your having such a hard time, hugs!!!

Honestly, after reading all your responses and some responses from PP my thought is that you need to end this relationship.

He might be a great guy BUT he might not be the right guy for you because he doesnt seem to love you the way you need to be loved, or make any attempts to take care of your very valid concerns. A relationship takes TWO, give and take, he doesnt seem to be doing much of the kind of giving that you need.  He seems to always brush your concerns aside and not want to talk about them, not cool! To you he may be the best guy you have ever had, but that doesnt mean he’s the best guy for you, what if there’s someone better…

I agree with other bees, that say get busy living your life, that is a proven great way to meet your ideal match. And like a previous poster said, if God has something better for you, you can’t get it if your hung up on this guy and insist on marrying him. I really suggest not forcing it anymore and just walking away. Sometimes things dont work out for a reason.

You could stay with him and maybe in a few years or whenever he’ll marry you and you two can have a good life.  Or you can move on and meet the person who is crazy about you and have a great life.  I can’t guarantee the future I have no idea what is going to happen, but I dont feel like you should be with someone this long and he still not know at all…  I believe after 3 years, he should know something! No timeline, nothing!

Even if he proposes now, do you really want a forced proposal? Or do you want a man to marry you because he’s crazy about you and can’t live without you? You decide, you might be fine with either, and if you are okay with that, then that’s fine. 

I know you feel like you love him and you cant imagine your life without him, well the truth is you need someone who feels the exact same way about you, someone who loves you that much and feels like they cant live without you, you deserve at least that, and doesnt seem like this guy feels that way…(maybe he does, but that hasnt been clearly demonstrated).

I hope you find the strength to do whats right for you. You only get one life to live and only you can decide how you are going to live it and who you will spend your time with.  I just dont want you to invest more years in this relationship and live to regret it, because that is a possibility.  You are already hurt, angry, and resentful, you will be moreso if you continue to stay and he continues to do nothing. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  I honestly feel your time is up with this guy you have done all that you can do.

Good Luck, I hope you find the happiness that you truly deserve.

Post # 78
Member
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@Happy Hopeful Bee:  “I know you feel like you love him and you cant imagine your life without him, well the truth is you need someone who feels the exact same way about you, someone who loves you that much and feels like they cant live without you, you deserve at least that, and doesnt seem like this guy feels that way…(maybe he does, but that hasnt been clearly demonstrated).”

Yes! I love this.

OP – I came back to this thread to say this….when you are with the right guy, you should feel free to be completely yourself, not trying to make yourself into something you think he wants.  If you aren’t what he wants, you will never be no matter how hard you try. Will he eventually marry you anyways? Maybe.  But why would you want that? I obviously don’t know your situation but if you are working SO hard to “audition to be his wife” my gut says you need to do the hardest thing you have ever done and move on.  It will be gut wrenching and awful….but once you meet the right guy, you will wonder why you ever stayed so long with the wrong guy (not the “bad” guy, just the wrong one for you)

Post # 79
Member
5 posts
Newbee

You can find someone else who will love you like you deserve

 

The topic ‘Devastated’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors