- 9 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I’m not sure if you’ve been following all my posts so far with regards to what to do for the reception which is spiralling out of control. More than anything, I just need to let it out.
My FH and I just got into a huge argument. Why? Well, I showed him our budget (broken down by the amount my parents are giving us:$35k, what his parents are giving us: $0, the amount we guestimated we’ll get via e-party and wedding..$15-20k, and what we had been hoping to spend it on: future house, our future, etc) The part he didn’t like was that it was creeping up to +70K.
70 THOUSAND DOLLARS. How? well lets see:
Sit down meal
extravaggant cocktail hour
Favors and gifts
and that was just the stuff that was expected/demanded.
I took the liberty of asking our venue what options we have (in terms of limiting food & bev cost, since that alone was 40K)… and FH is insistant that it is not a wedding if a) it is a buffet, b) it is not sit down meal, c) anybody has to fetch anything for themselves…. MAYBE for royalty.. but last I checked, the important part should be us joining our lives.
I’m distraught… apart from modifying the amount of food/alcohol distributed and method of it being distributed, we have to cut out almost all of the things we were BOTH really excited about because they’d make our wedding unique.
This is important because: he wanted big traditional, I wanted small and intimate, our compromise was something fun and unique.
FH refuses to budge, which means to bring down costs I will be cutting:
Dinner entertainment- an illusionist to go with alice in wonderland theme (i’m so sad!)
My second dress- will have to sell it… (again I’m pretty sad, my mom was paying for my dresses for me)
Our strolling table- it was causing drama so I guess this is better off gone, but still devastated
Our decorator- we were both excited… but me moreso because I HATE our venue/hall the way it is. HATE.
Our filmographer- we will lose the deposit but save 1200$ in the process. It was a vintage filmographer
Limos for our parents (my dad has a groupon he’ll probably use to replace this)
Our pad thai station at cocktail hour… we both love pad thai and it was something we bonded over, it was a unique touch that I felt really represented us, and now i’m so sad… I was really looking forward to it.
The poutine station at our midnight buffet. Midnight buffet was a requirement by his family, the poutine was my only contribution and I was VERY excited.
I’m just so sad… and feel likenow he is just getting his traditional wedding and I’m getting nothing. I’m in event management and was hoping to have fun aspects that I came up with for my portfolio, and I’m disappointed my parents are paying for the wedding and I feel I don’t have anything in it for me… AND I mean, this is AFTER I’ve already saved us several thousand dollars with all my DIY projects (menus, invitations, centerpieces, bouquets, etc…) without any help…
I can’t stop crying. He’s mad and refuses to consider any other food options (buffet, cocktail hors d’oeuvres style, etc..) IT doesn’t feel like this day is supposed to be reflective of us… and how we are as a couple at all. I get that the wedding should also be for our guests… but I am nowhere NEAR suggesting people starve, or go thirsty… I’m just trying to finda more cost effective way of making our wedding FUN and UNIQUE and also have food etc etc…
I’m frustrated… and he won’t listen… he’s shut me out and has shut down, he just walks away and now I’m alone. with my damn dog.
He says he’d rather do city hall and skip it all than have a reception without sit down mean (WTFFFFFFF)… which would be fine if we hadn’t already spent 12000$ on non-refundable deposits for all the crap we had agreed on together and were BOTH excited about.
I. Hate. This.