(Closed) Devastated…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

OMG. ((HUGGS)) I am so sorry!! I hoped it wouldnt go this way. I was cryign my eyes out last night too over a venue visit with our parents gone bad. I dont know what to suggest or advice to give other than what we ended up doing – we said screw it all were doign this our way! were booking the venue tommorow! We love it! Were happy! and thats all that should matter to anybody. I hope you guys work this out and talk about it. I think hes acting like a spoiled mamma’s boy frankly.

Post # 79
Member
9939 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@mayflowerbride13:   Just popped back in, and see you seem to be feeling better, yay!  Big hug!  It seems WB is a pretty good counseling substitute, lol.  😉

Post # 81
Member
9939 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@mayflowerbride13:  You’re handling all this amazingly and remarkably well.  You’re exceptionally mature and level-headed for someone your age, I must say.  I admire you!

Post # 82
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper

You know, the more I think about this and your situation, the more I realize that the people are who make the wedding important and ‘different’. Most wedddings are exactly the same in the order in which they’re done, but adding a few extra things isn’t going to change any of that,is it? Most people like to see the couple enjoying themselves and getting to eat a nice meal with some interesting people and dance a bit and let loose. I don’t need entertainment when I attend a wedding and would probably find it a little silly,to tell you the truth. Many people are now of the mindset that their weddings have to reflect THEM, but what does that really mean anyway?

Weddings shouldn’t be competitions (unless you’re on a TV show), so if you can seperate the most important things from the fluff, don’t you think you can come to some kind of agreement and be happy with your plans?

The best part of my wedding was how much FUN we had! Isn’t that enough?

Post # 84
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@mayflowerbride13:  And I agree with you, but how in the world did they get so many opinions in there in the first place? Was there a meeting of some sort or has his Mom just been badgering you to death about everything?

By The Way…I see you’ve mentioned having a cocktail type reception or some other kind of meal. Not sure how it is where you live, but the cocktail reception we had was the most expensive of all the options. Sit down dinner was the cheapest, followed by the buffet.

Post # 86
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Honestly your parents are paying. I think you need to tell him if he “needs” that extra stuff that midnight snack or whatever you don’t care about but he does then his family “needs” to pay for it. Get what you want, and let them cover what they want.

Maybe that’s not a it’s “our money” kind of mentality but he’s spending your parents money without compromise. I think YOU need to tell him what’s what and do what you gotta do. Tell him “We are NOT doing a sit down dinner unless your family pays for it. Period.” I don’t see how he can argue about something he or his family isn’t contributing to.

I think it’s really lame that you can’t have the things you want, but they get to spend all the money on their stuff. I feel like you’re being bullied.  Hope you get it figured out, the wedding should be a compromise about the two of you as a couple, not anyone else.

Post # 87
Member
6253 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Why aren’t your parents going to bat for you on this one? It is their money. Do they realize how upset this has you, and how badly Fiance and his family are acting? All they’d have to do is say “We aren’t giving any money until there’s a compromise” and stick to their guns. I bet that would solve the problem really quickly, and you wouldn’t have to be painted as the villain. It’s not that important for your parents and his parents to be on super awesome terms anyway.

Post # 89
Member
9939 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@mayflowerbride13:   Irritating and entitled sounds like the perfect way to describe them, lol.  😉

Post # 90
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sounds like he’s not willing to compromise, which is a bigger issue than just the wedding. 

Post # 91
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Are you sure you want to marry this spineless, demanding child of a man so that you can deal with his overbearing, entitled, controlling mother for the rest of your life? If he insists on taking her side and refuses to compromise with you, raising kids with him is going to be an absolute nightmare.

Also, I’m sorry, but the real victims here are your parents. You signed up for this when you decided to marry a man who won’t stand up to his mother and doesn’t believe he should have to pay for things. They’re the ones who are stuck spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding that is making their daughter miserable. Not to mention that they’ll probably never get to see you/their grandkids because you just have to go see your in-laws for every holiday, because “that’s what Italian families do.” If I were you I’d ask them to retract their offer to pay for the wedding. Let them cover the deposits, walk away from what you have planned, and then have the intimate, small budget wedding you and your Fiance can afford. If it’s not “Italian” enough for the in-laws, let them pay for it.

Good luck, OP. I wish you the best.

The topic ‘Devastated…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors