(Closed) Devastated…

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I haven’t experienced anything like this, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Prayers for you and your husband.

I think banking his sperm sounds like a good idea if it isn’t cost-prohibitive. I’d hesitate to TTC this cycle (even though I understand the desire), so that you both can really focus on getting your husband better. But if that’s what you decide to do, then fingers crossed for a BFP on your first month!

Post # 4
1003 posts
Bumble bee

I am so very sorry to hear this. 🙁  FIL was diagnosed with bladder cancer about 2 years ago.  He’s cancer free now, but the year of treatments was very hard on him and Mother-In-Law.  I think banking the sperm is a great idea if you are worried about his fertility after treatment.  Between Mother-In-Law working hard to take care of Father-In-Law and Father-In-Law going through the treatments, they were both exhausted – physically and mentally.  I understand how hard it is to put off trying to conceive, but I think it would be a mistake at this time.  Good luck to you and your husband.  You’re in my thoughts.

Post # 5
634 posts
Busy bee

I would absolutly bank his sperm. Without a doubt, no hestitation. I would also not push conception during this stressful time. Your finances might get turned around to where you may need some time to pick them back up. It’s hard to both support each other and need support at the same time, and pregnancy hormones might be throwing you into a ROUGH loop. And heaven forbid, if you are like my mother whom through no fault or reckless behavior, miscarried multiple times before her first child, I can’t imagine having that added to your struggles.


My heart goes out to you, and I wish you all the best with whatever course the two of you feel is right; and I wish your husband a swift and sucessful recovery.

Post # 6
3462 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My father is a cancer survivor so I can relate to a shocking diagnosis :/ I’m so sorry you are going through this! Try to keep things positive for him because he’s going to need your love and support.

If it were me I would wait to TTC until after he has gone through treatment. In my opinion the focus right now should be on him. Sorry thats just what I think. When my dad was having his surgery and dealing with the aftermath (thankfully my dad didn’t have to go through chemo) he was very sensitive and needed a lot of support (and my dad is not a sensitive guy). We tried to take a big trip with him before his surgery so he could have fond memories of that and we made sure to keep any drama on the back burner. Obviously you cant pretend life is not happening, but you can deal with how it is portrayed. He will be under a lot of stress and won’t be feeling well most days and that would be hard if you were pregnant.

Post # 7
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@monet11: First – HUGS! Second – while I haven’t personally been through this, I can tell you that my father had cancer in his late teens or early twenties (i don’t really know all the details).  I know he was treated, I know he’s been through radiation, altough I’m not 100% sure about chemo – it was thyroid cancer.

I DO know, that he had 5 perfectly healthy children the ‘traditional’ way, all after his cancer, over the space of 24 years (I have a half brother).

I think that banking sperm is a great idea, and you will have a backup plan should TTC the traditional way not be an option post treatment.  I agree with PP’s that TTC now, when you’re going to under so much stress is probably not the best idea.

I’m sure you will come through this stronger and closer, and you will have your family.  Think happy thoughts 🙂


Post # 8
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Banking your husbands sperm sounds like a great idea. You’ll be in my prayers.

Post # 9
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Lots of e-hugs and well wishes!

Post # 10
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

((hugs)). I’m sure you guys are going through lots of emotions right now, and that is perfectly normal. I don’t have any advice, other than to do what’s best for your family. Whatever that may be. ((hugs))

Post # 11
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry you guys are going through this! I hope his treatments are super quick and ultra-effective!

I’d bank just in case, but definitely hope for the best! I have two post-cancer miracle-baby siblings!

Post # 12
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No experience to share, but I am sending good thoughts your way!

Post # 13
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am so very sorry for what you are going through. 

Post # 14
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@monet11:  Sorry to hear about your husband.

My Fiance was diagnosed with testicular cancer when he was 19 years old. He had a unilateral orchiectomy and radiation therapy. At the time, he was a single guy and had no lady prospects. The thought of banking his sperm never even crossed his mind, so he didn’t. He has been 10 years without cancer. His doctors have run many tests and have assured us that his ability to have children has not been hindered.

Post # 16
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just wanted to offer my sympathies.  I’m a cancer survivor (thyroid) myself and getting that diagnosis was terrifying.  Definitely ask his doctors about banking his sperm before he goes through treatment.  I’m sure this type of issue comes up all the time with oncologists, so don’t hesitate to ask.

 It was the second question (the first being, “Am I going to lose my hair?”~I was 20 and vain and in total shock) I asked my doctors after the initial shock of hearing the “C” word wore off (obviously] storing eggs, not sperm in my case ;-))  Luckily, my type of cancer didn’t require chemo and as long as I didn’t want to TTC within a year, my fertility wasn’t going to be compromised.  I was 20 and single when I got my diagnosis, so that wasn’t an issue.

Prayers for you and your husband.   

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