- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
I really need some insight on this situation please..I have been so devestated lately with my Maid of Honor (who’s my cousin/we’re like sisters). Let me start by saying that my Fiance and I got engaged this May and didn’t need to wait long so we decided to get married this upcoming october. Everyone is estatic but it also feels like a crunch time to get things done quickly and efficiently. My cousin/MOH is also engaged waiting to get married in March of 2016! Both of us want to be each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor. I didnt want a big bridal party so shes the only one. (Note that my little sister -17 years old-wanted to be my Maid/Matron of Honor prior)
My cousin is literally MIA and I havent seen her for 4 weeks now since my engagement party (we live 5 minutes away), this goes from her being at my house at least 4 times a week, always texting/facetiming to her being extremly absent! It started with her complaining every dress I picked for her, all Ivory elegant/chic dresses that would compliment my dress beautifuly, she keeps wanting to pick a dress thats literally similar to my dress which doesnt make sense. It took forever to get that picked out. I came to buy the dress for her (customary in our family/culture) but she complains that she doesnt trust it will be here on time given that my wedding is so close and she wants to look locally (which she doesnt have time for). I finally managed to find a place that ships the dress we agreed on in few days, but I was $60 short of the full price so i asked her to pay that part and I would give her the money as soon as I get my paycheck. To my shock, she refused! She said that she has bridesmaids dresses that she has to pay for and that she thinks i will have a million other thing to pay for and wont give her the money in time! I was beyond hurt, we’re like sisters, and I always pay for things when we hang out, and she doesnt even need to pay her bridesmaid dresses in full anyway given that its in March! I tried to ignore that insult..
Fast forward to my engagement party, she literally disappears for the whole week leading up to it and missed all preperations, didnt even offer to help or come over! Let me stress that my mother, gramma and I threw her and fiance a beautiful engagement party at our house a month before that, I was her photographer (took over 800 professional photos of them/party) and planned everything out that she didnt have to do a thing!! Even my fiance took a day off to help set up with us! I can’t believe that she literally disappeared for my engagement….She keeps saying that shes busy at work (temporary reception job) and she has TV shows to watch after work!!! Also, she volunteered to be my party’s photographer and I asked her to come a few hours early so that she takes photos of my fiance and I..she arrives after the party starts, with an uncharged camera and asks me if I have mine charged!!!
This gets crazyier…2 nighst before my engagement party (Saturday), she texts me at midnight asking me if I can drive for 30 minutes on Friday to see her “wedding dress” on her and look for her bridesmaids dresses quickly so I can get back to my party prep! OMG!!! ALL this long I had asked her to come early to my house the day of the party, turns out she got scheduled to work the Saturday because she had the Friday off to look for bridesmaids dresses…While I just got done telling her that I need major help getting things together for the party.
Another kicker..She picked a bridesmaid dress for her wedding that’s literally the style I wanted for her to wear in mine…WHICH i have no problems with, it shocked me because I haven’t found that design anywhere locally until she came across the dress while she was dress shopping for her wedding dress! i had asked her to be on the lookout so that she gets her Maid/Matron of Honor dress for my wedding!
The last blow: She isnt planning or doesnt want to plan a shower for me..(meanwhile she had made it clear before that she wants a bridal shower for herself and that its the responsibility of her bridal party-which includes me since Im her MOH). I really want a bridal shower for the fun of it..its once a lifetime, it can be simple and low key, its the thought that matters to be honest..but she had showed NO interest, saying that she cant afford it, and that shes busy!!!!
I havent seen her since my engagement party..she hasnt showed up…doesnt return my calls, and I’ve been wanting to meet with her and talk it out..yet she keeps making excuses.
I AM HEART BROKEN I cant phathom this treatment…the lack of effort..I’m not asking for much..just the support/being there/having fun together planning! its supposed to be fun and happy..