(Closed) Heartbroken with MOH! Please help..

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
20 posts
  • Wedding: September 2015

Sending hugs your way. Considering how close you two were, I can’t imagine why she’s behaving this way. Weddings do bring out the crazy in people though. Moving forward, I think you need to figure a plan that is going to protect yourself. Since she hadn’t been there from the beginning I wouldn’t count on her to help in the future. Maybe you need to reach out to other friends/family members to pick up the slack. 

Post # 3
358 posts
Helper bee

I would definitely demote her to bridesmaid, and have your sister as your Maid/Matron of Honor. She’ll still be in your bridal party but with less responsibilities (as she’s obviously too interested in her own wedding to worry about yours) and I’m sure your sister would love to pick up the Maid/Matron of Honor duties. 🙂

Post # 4
2327 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
happyrbride:  I’m sorry you’re in this situation bee. I think sometimes friends/family hear wedding and they think it’s going to be all about them. If she’s Maid/Matron of Honor she might be thinking she deserves your ear at all time and that things are going to play out just as SHE always imagined them. It hasn’t panned out that way so she’s started digging in her heels and is now avoiding you because she isn’t getting her way. I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong but there’s nothing in your post to suggest she isn’t being plain selfish.

I had two friends who invited themselves to be bridesmaids even though we had previously had no discussion about it beforehand and I didn’t want bridesmaids. I went along with it because then Fiance said it wouldn’t be so bad. I struggled to settle a date for them to go dress shopping with me even though they asked to go. They asked why I was shopping so early (hadn’t sweet a date because I knew I’d struggle to find the right dress and had made this clear). They wanted it to be a girly day out so we went to lunch and a spa and then dress shopping. I said I didn’t want anything heavy before trying dresses and they insisted on pizza. Whatever. They then were disappointed that the bridal shop served wine and not champagne. Tough. They then refused to go to another shop about ten minutes travel away because “that would be too much in one day”. Pardon? The first shop was just over an hour of me trying dresses and that’s enough? These were people around the 30 mark. People I spent all of my socialising time with and they were just clueless as to what I wanted, worse, they didn’t care.

Do you still want her as MOH? I’d go around and talk to her. Maybe there’s something else going on in her life that she’s kept from you? I’d always give the benefit of the doubt in the first instance. If she’s still being awkward and you still want her then just wash your hands of her. She can turn up in the dress. If she doesn’t then she’s just a guest. I hope you’re able to find a way past this with this woman. A wedding isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things but it does put a spotlight on the crazy!

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