Post # 137
Thank you very much for the well wishes about the job everyone. I’m supposed to hear back sometime within the next few days. Lezlers asked what kind of job it is. It has to do with search engine optimization (helping the internet search engines to run more efficiently). Feeling pretty heartbroken today. Still managing somehow not to contact him & he hasn’t contacted me at all yet today either. I’m trying my best not to think about him but it’s SO hard because he was such a huge part of my life. Can’t help but wonder if he’s also feeling sad at all or if he just doesn’t give a sh*t. DD is at her dad’s tonight so feeling kind of lonely right now, but I have work to do and a movie to watch so that should help keep me busy.
In an effort to try and boost my mood by trying to look my best, I did a few things for myself today. I went tanning (which yes I know is bad and should have used self tanner or spray tan instead) but no spray tan places nearby, and I want to get fast results and there is a laundry mat right down the street from me that has one of those stand up tanning booths. Once I’ve gotten a good base color, I plan on switching over to self tanning. It was nice and relaxing, and I plan on going again sometime in the next few days. Oh, I bought a new lipstick too today. Haven’t tried it yet but I think I’m going to really like it.
Post # 138
@CuteLittleBuzzingBee: awesome that you’re doing some things for yourself! and congrats on the job interview going so well. i’ve been unemployed for about a year so I know how difficult it is and how great it is to have a good interview. chin up ! 🙂
Post # 139
Glad to see you are concentrating on yourself! I hope you hear back from the job real soon and that you get it – you certainly deserve it!
Just keep doing what you are doing. The counselling sounds like a really good idea – when I broke up with my ex I was in so much shock by what I had done that I turned into a zombie. I spoke with a counsellor over the phone a few times and saw her once and she was able to get me to see that I did what I did for good reason and that he was a manipulative guy who kept me down to make himself feel better. I never looked back after that! And I was rewarded with a guy who makes me feel loved, makes me happy and accepts me for the person I am.
You have to believe that you deserve someone who will love you the way you love them and will want to commit.
Keep looking after yourself – and keep being strong!
Post # 140
Thanks Puppy and good luck to you in finding a new job.
Thanks Cupcake. Sorry to hear that you also went through a rough breakup (as I’m sure many people on this board have), but I’m glad to hear you found someone new that you’re happy with.
Post # 141
You’re being very strong. Good for you and DD!
Continue keeping yourself busy and making small, positive changes in your life. I hope you get good news on the job, that sounds exciting!
So, apart from working, what are your hobbies? Are there things that you always wanted to do but never did, because your X didn’t want to?
For me, it was taking dancing lessons… My X told me he’d die before he’d dance with me – after being together 6 years, go figure! Anyway, I grabbed a friend, who was more than pleased to come and dance with me and we had a blast! That friend’s my husband now.
What I’m saying is, think about things you didn’t do because of him, but that you would have loved to… and go for it! It’s liberating, and you get to have fun.
Post # 142
Thanks egb. I don’t feel very strong right now. Well, I do in a way because I’ve managed to not contact him at all or respond to him when he’s contacted me, but I feel like a complete mess on the inside right now. I am so, so sad right now. Tonight has been extra rough for some reason. I’ve been trying to do stuff to stay busy, but I just keep bursting into tears all throughout the night. (Luckily is at her dad’s right now for an overnight so she’s not around to hear me cry). I still haven’t said anything to my DD about the break up yet, and I still have no idea what I’m going to say to her. I think I’m probably going to have to tell her tomorrow though because I’m sure she’ll ask if we’re going to exbf’s house for the weekend (like we usually do). God this sucks so bad. I’m on antidepressants right now but my heart still hurts so bad right now. I’m just missing him terribly.
Post # 143
You are being strong by not responding to him.
Keep in mind that just because you cry and feel sad doesn’t mean you are not being strong. You NEED to cry. You NEED to be angry, even. You need that to heal. It’s necessary.
You also need to continue to take care of yourself. Get good sleep, eat well, easy on the wine or alcohol too. Go for a walk or run, etc.
I’m sorry I know the weekends will be incredibly rough because this was his and your time. But now you can free that up for yourself and DD. Go OUT this weekend with her. Spend time with her alone.
Tell her about the breakup right away. Telling her will make it sink in even further. Your daughter will learn a lesson and she will see you as being STRONG. It will be an anchor in her mind not to put up with any crap. I think once you tell her it will be scary because now you can’t turn back, it will send the wrong message. This isn’t one of those situations where it’s a good idea to take him back unfortunately. This guy has used up his chances.
Anyway best of luck to you. We will be here (I love how supportive this thread is!)
Post # 144
I agree 100% with what LadyLuna711 said…
Do not stay home this weekend; go away with your DD, spend time with her. It will be hard, but way better than staying at home.
You are going through something very difficult, but you ARE strong. And standing up for yourself, setting more accurate standards on what you deserve is hard, but good for you. It makes you stronger. It makes your DD stronger. You are her role model. What would you want for her, when she’s your age? Do not settle for less than what you would want for her. You are worth it.
Post # 145
I also think it’s a good idea to tell DD. Tell as many people as you possibly can. Once you do that, it’ll be harder to get back together again because you know you’ll be having to deal with the “huh? WHY??” as well as sending a bad message to DD about strength, independence and respect for yourself.
Stay strong, you’re doing OUTSTANDING. I also want to echo those who are telling you to get some exercise. It really helps. Try kickboxing! Awesome way to get our your aggression, not to mention extremely empowering!
Post # 146
Hang in there!! I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!! Do something special with DD this weekend! Make it fun and exciting for the both of you to bond! 🙂
Post # 147
Cute, good job on staying strong! It is the bravest thing to do!!!! In fact you are braver than you think you are!
I was so here a year and a half ago. A guy I totally adored broke my heart, not only that I was sick. I was just in a panic. He was going to parties while I was sick! I dumped him but he brought it on by acting like that. I then ignored everything from him.
Fast forward to now the jerk has emailed me 2x while he was in town this past weekend…..I deleted the emails and I didn’t think twice about seeing him. Idiot! You only get one time buddy! He was simply looking for attention but I don’t waste my time anymore.
Good luck with everything and remember to take this day by day, hour by hour.
Post # 148
Thanks so much for your input and support everyone. Didn’t hear from him at all yesterday but he did send me one text today a few hours ago that just said:
“Hello. What r u up to”?
So, that kind of p*ssed me off. No i miss you so much and can’t bear being without you and I’ve decided I do want to marry you. Just hello. What r u up to.
Post # 149
What a jerk off SERIOUSLY! It’s like “oh you just stomped on my heart, but sure lets have small talk!!?”
I hope you are holding up okay, Spend some time with DD this weekend and get your mind off of it!
Post # 151
JUST got another text from him. He said:
“Aww. I do miss u just wish we didn’t argue. I just saw a girl that looks like u”.
WTF?? Maybe he should think that we’d been arguing lately because I was (understandably) upset that he wouldn’t even commit to even just LIVING with me after 3 years of us dating!!