(Closed) Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe it…

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 152
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is just my opinion and it might be quite different from what you’ve been hearing. I basically just read your posts and not all the replies, so here goes nothing.

Your quote in a previous post — ““Hello.  What r u up to”?

So, that kind of p*ssed me off.  No i miss you so much and can’t bear being without you and I’ve decided I do want to marry you.  Just hello.  What r u up to.

 

I think you need a reality check, lady!

#1: From what I gather everyone on here is telling you to move on, which is fine, I don’t know if I agree with that or not because I haven’t seen all the good times and if they outweigh the bad. I also don’t agree with living together before marriage and whatnot so yeah I think the pressure of that isn’t necessary but..if they are telling you to move on and thats your plan then you need to stop complaining over if he called or didn’t call and what he did or didn’t say.

#2: Most importantly, Guys are guys. Girl are girls. Were always going to be hopelessly waiting for a better text, a better voicemail, a better reaction. We’re never just happy with what we get.

You think he doesn’t love you at all because he wanted a break? That’s a load of crock. If the man didn’t care *AT ALL* like you are so worried about then he couldn’t have kept calling you and texting you. He said he wanted a break. You broke up with him completely. There is a big difference there. You both sound stubborn so I don’t know how, without talking to you and communicating things out, you can expect him to suddenly be like “I love you, I miss you, let’s elope!” That’s just NOT how it works. Plus, you’re not even giving him the chance to say those things because you’re not communicating back at all.

You gotta give a little to get a little. And maybe you have given and he hasn’t, I don’t really know, but right now it’s obvious he is trying to talk to you and guys go about it in a very different way then girls do. That’s why they cause us so much frustration. Instead of playing out on your distraught emotions I recommended talking to him and hearing what he has to say – whether it’s “the last talk ever” or one that opens your eyes and ears. But remember when he says “I miss u” that has to be worth something. You cant continually think it’s not good enough because it wasn’t something like “I miss ur smile and ur hair and the way we laugh together and blah blah and I feel this way and blah blah.” Thats just not how guys are….

I sincerely wish you the best of luck in whatever happens. From your posts I can tell you are so genuine and sweet so of course you deserve nothing but the best.

Post # 153
Member
955 posts
Busy bee

No offense @brittanymarie but that is why you don’t totally go off of what men say, it is their actions that you must pay attention to.  This guys actions are way off.  If he wants a break it is because he is confused about how he feels.  We all deserve to be with someone who is sure about us.  He keeps throwing her texts to see how high she will jump to get back in the relationship.  I’ve been toyed with this way before and it’s a bunch of BS! 

 

Post # 155
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hey CLBB, I just found this thread tonight and got drawn in by your situation.

I hope you’re not letting his texts etc get you down.  He doesn’t seem to know what he wants, and it’s just mean and nasty that he won’t accept you at your word and back off.  Best of luck with the job, and I hope you and your daughter have a fun weekend together.

Post # 156
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@brittanymarie:  Given that you said yourself that you aren’t familiar with the particulars – and appear not to have taken the time to actually read the OP or numerous additional updates or related posts – perhaps you ought to dial it down a notch?  Your understanding of situation is wildly inaccurate.

You think breaks are acceptable and a good idea in some instances.  That’s fine.  It’s also, however, irrelevant.  What matters here is that CLBB doesn’t think a break is a workable option and has stated her valid reasons for this.  Lecturing on the subject is counterproductive in the extreme.

And some of us are perfectly happy with what we have.  Blissfully so, even.  Because, yeah, those calls and texts and e-mails and dinners and everything else are coming from someone loving, respectful and pleased-as-punch to have us.  And THAT is what CLBB deserves.

Post # 157
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@CuteLittleBuzzingBee:  Ick, ick, ick!  I’m sure he’s got some redeeming qualities, but your ex is sounding like a real jerk right about now.  You’ve made it clear that you want to be left in peace but he won’t quit calling and texting because…?  It’s like he thinks this is just a game, or that you’re a child throwing a tantrum because she didn’t get what she wanted – which is ironic since he’s the one being childish.

Ugh.  Can you call up some friends or go to a movie?  Anything to get you out of the house and away from the phone.

Post # 158
Member
846 posts
Busy bee

@CuteLittleBuzzingBee:

Isn’t it torture for you to listen to his messages and read emails or texts.  Please delete him from everything and move forward–I know it has been extremely hard to move on, but you deserve better.  I agree with

View original reply
@teaadntoast:

Go find something fabulous to do tonight, and all weekend–for yourself and DD

Don’t fall for his messages, cause we all know he is just trying to keep you hanging on, and reeling you in.  Don’t fall for his hooks and games.  Keep strong ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 159
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

He is not respecting your wishes… Can’t the guy just let you some space to breathe and to heal? He’s even trying to play it casual, which doesn’t make sense if he was really serious about you. After 3 years, if he can’t get real, that’s just another thing to prove that you’re better off without him, available to meet a worthy man.
I’m glad you’re getting pissed… It’s part of the process.

Sorry; I’m ranting now, and it’s not even my situation!

I guess it may be a bit weird, over the internet and not knowing each other and all, but I guess we’ve all seen in the past few days, that we’re here for you. We’re all rooting for you to be happy, you and your DD.

What’s in store for the weekend?

Post # 160
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Seriously, is he like, 16?  He’s sure as hell acting like it.  They guy is a CHILD.  The fact that he will not respect your wishes and leave you alone is maddening.  What a selfish, insensitive, immature, jerk.

Stay strong.  Ignore Brittney.  She clearly hasn’t read the background and might even be being contrary for the sake of it.  For your own mental health, ignore that horrible advice.

Post # 161
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Haha @lezlers, EXACTLY!

@teaadntoast: Woop woop!! Couldn’t agree more!! VERY well-put. About the only thing brittneymarie said that was correct was that Cute deserves “nothing but the best.”

Cute, I just want clarification on oooone little thing. The text where he said, “Aww… I do miss you…” that sounds awfully like it’s in response to something you said. Like a reply. (either that or he’s just super weird to begin an out-of-nowhere text with “aww”… which I suppose is highly likely, lol) Have you been texting him back at all? Hope not ๐Ÿ™ Stay strong. You are doing awesome and we are all proud of you.

Post # 162
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@brittanymarie: 

Just read the whole thing. It was the SAME last year and NOTHING changed. She gave him another chance, if he didnt make an effort to make things better, that’s it. Move on. She can’t be waiting for a man forever.

If he really wants to talk to her and have things to say to her, he WILL find the way to contact her or see her and say what he has to say. He’s just not really trying.

I BELIEVE that she deserves better.

Hang in there CutelittleBB! *hugs*

Post # 163
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Cute lil bee:

Britneymarie means well but I disagree.

This guy not only let you down but HE’s the one who wanted a “break”.

He’s lucky you tolerate his ambivalence.

Show him and DD that you are worth more than that. You deserve someone who will never let you down, who can’t live without your sweet face.

Its a cliche but I truly believe: if you love something set it free, if it comes back (and stays for GOOD) its meant to be.

Post # 164
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2011

๐Ÿ™

Post # 165
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee

I agree his text sounded either like a response to what you texted him, or it sounds like he’s mocking you like a little biddy baby. Weird. Not just the “Aww” but the “Aww” followed by “I do love you”. 

It’s like this guy is just playing his part in the “routine”. I can picture him checking his clock:

“Welp it’s 8:00. Time for step 2. The ‘ol “aw” gets her everytime. Oooh and let me pretend to not know why she’s upset and do the babytalk bit, throw in an “I love you” for good effect. Yeeeep yep that should do it.” 

While twirling his keys, strolling, whistling and texting with one hand. While checking out the girl that “looks like you.”

Total jerk off. Ok?

You do need to get PISSED right now. I’m pissed for you. I hate when I’m not taken seriously. 

Sorry but what a fuckin’ jerk.

The topic ‘Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe it…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors