(Closed) Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe it…

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 182
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Kudos to you for sticking to your guns! He’s trying to manipulate you and is suprised it’s not working. Good for you 🙂 Keep it up even though it’s hard. ***HUGS***

Post # 183
Member
266 posts
Helper bee

Don’t listen to anymore messages or read anymore texts.  Ask yourself what differece does it make what he says.  You know you can’t count on him.  Maybe he wants to keep you around but he is telling you he isn’t going to marry you.  You and your daughter deserve better. 

Post # 184
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Glad you have not been responding and that he really is, just…. that dumb. He honestly sounds mentally unstable. PP were right, he is absolutely trying to blame you for the demise of this relationship which is absolute BULLSHIT (sorry for the language but I’m not able to censor myself with this guy), and you shouldn’t take it. Keep ignoring this idiot who is worthy of absolutely not one moment of your time. You’re doing great. With every minute that passes you are closer to the day when you can honestly say you don’t give a sh*t about him. Believe me, it will happen!!

Post # 185
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Serously this guy is making me furious right now. What the hell is wrong with this guy?? He’s calling and texting but not really sounding like he wants to talk and make things right again. Trying to do small talk and sound all casual like NOTHING happened. I hate him for acting like a total jerk!

And yes, it is probably a good idea to have a friend text him FROM UR PHONE saying to respect ur space and to please leave you alone if he has nothing to say.

Of course, delete him from everywhere after. You’re doing awesome sweetie. Dont give up!

Post # 186
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Good luck with the job interview! Sounds like a cool job and a potential new begining for you.

Post # 188
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

You are doing great!  I know it is hard not to focus on what he is or is not doing, but you will drive yourself crazy if you keep time on your days by when and whether he called/texted.  He might be with someone else right now and, as much as it hurts, you need to find a way to put it out of your mind and focus on yourself. You can only control what you do, and who cares what he is doing anyway, right?!

You know that there will be an “after” to this, there will be a day that you look back and remember how much it sucked and you will be glad you endured, were strong, and found new joy with yourself and DD.  You might not know right now how you will get there, but you know that you will get there.  It will be painful, but it is only temporary.  You will survive because you are not giving him more power over you than you are taking for yourself.  We are all so proud of you. 

Don’t respond to him.  Love yourself.

Post # 189
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Did you turn the answering machine off on purpose?  If so, I think that was a really smart plan.

Letting go can be the toughest part of breaking up.  You know in your head and your heart that you shouldn’t be with someone, that s/he’s not the right person for you, but at the same time the idea of him/her with someone else makes your stomach turn.  What always got me through that period was actively remembering how badly it felt when he did X, didn’t say Y or forgot Z.  Kinda throws into high relief why it is that the relationship ended and emphasizes “good riddance” over “what if.”  Later you can spend time sifting through the memories for the good times, but right now I think it might be helpful to recall as strongly as possible why it is you’re better off without someone who would treat you so badly.

Post # 190
Member
656 posts
Busy bee

I am SO proud of you.. and I am really really disliking this man. You have really been so tough through all of this and I commend you for staying strong for you and your DD. Keep it up and know we are always here to be your pillar of support!

Post # 191
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m so glad you have hung in there! You deserve so much more.

I guess one thing you could think about that might help is, would you want DD to be treated this way? Kids are so perceptive…and they tend to model behaviors. So, even if you try to keep things from her so that she doesn’t get hurt, she still likely knows what is going on to some degree. So, if you do not want her to think the way you have been treated is “normal”, I think you know you need to go forward the way you are, without him…and find someone better!!!

Post # 192
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

@CuteLittleBuzzingBee: That last message he sent actually made me really angry!

I agree with previous posters; he does not want to get engaged, and the fact that you do means nothing at all to him. And it’s also complete BS to say that the relationship failed because you vocalised your desire to get engaged. A decent man who truly loves you won’t break up with you because you want to take the relationship to the next level!

You have done the right thing by not responding to his calls and texts. He really needs to realise that you’re through with letting him string you along.

However, if he keeps texting and calling, you might tell him to give you space and stop contacting you.

Post # 194
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Again, just more proof that he is immature. Even if he came to you with a ring at this point, he cannot handle marriage and does not have the maturity to deal with issues. Plus, he is trying to manipulate you. You do not want to spend your llife with this person!!

Post # 195
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Change your phone number! All this is doing is causing you more stress and pain.

Post # 196
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Honestly, CUT HIM OFF!! Nothing is EVER going to change. He is TOYING with you. He’s such an asshole and not only do YOU deserve better but so does your daughter! What kind of father would he be if he’s flaking on you now? I’ll tell you. A sucky one. Move on! You are lingering and it’s not good for you or your daughter. Cold turkey is the way to go. I’m speaking from experience.

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