Honey, you seriously need to STOP. Stop it RIGHT NOW. Does your daughter see you acting like this? If she is, you are damaging her. You are teaching her that it is acceptable to be used and manipulated by a selfish, immature, boy. He is not a man, he is a BOY.
If you don’t mind me asking, how old are the two of you? Your posts remind me of my high school/very early college relationships. I felt bad for you at first, but now I’m starting to get a little frustrated. You have a 12 year old daugther, right? It’s time to start acting like a grown-up.
I remember posting about your relationship before and I made an offhand comment about his reluctance to marry you because of your debt. You PM’d me and told me what state you live in. You totally missed the point of my ENTIRE post. It doesn’t MATTER where you live. It doesn’t matter if excuse #552 might actually be a somewhat valid concern. What MATTERS is the fact that there are 551 MORE of them. You’re doing the same thing in this thread. You’re only responding to the posts that might possibly give a glimmer of hope to your extremely unhealthy relationship. You’re totally ignoring the posts pointing out how unhealthy and toxic your relationship really is. You need to read ALL the posts people are taking the time and effort to write and take them in.
He should really be ashamed of his behavior. He is acting like a self involved child. And I’m sorry, but in the interest of a little tough love here, YOU should be a little ashamed of YOUR behavior. People can only treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you. You are allowing yourself to be treated like a weak, stupid, defenseless child. You are allowing your daugther to witness you being treated this way. You are teaching her that it is OKAY to be treated this way. This is totally unacceptable. She deserves better.
Again, I say this from a place of love and support. I’ve been where you are. I know how painful it is. I also know that you can get past it if you make the effort to do so. You have to take that first step. YOU have to become responsible for your own happiness and the happiness of DD. No one is going to do it for you. It’s horribly difficult and it takes a lot of strength and willpower, but it IS possible.
I was dumped this time last year. It was completely out of the blue and hit me like a ton of bricks. I was DEVESTATED. I couldn’t breathe. I had to go on klonopin for awhile. Friends came over to my apartment in shifts and sat with me while I stared at the TV screen, not paying any attention to what was on. I didn’t eat for weeks. We work together. Still do. Have to see the EX every day, then and now. But you know what? I got through it. I met my current boyfriend about three weeks later. We live together now and are blissfully happy. I never would have met him if I hadn’t been so brutally dumped. I never would’ve met him if I HADN’T gone through that horrible pain. But I did. And I would happily do it again.
Please take LadyLuna’s advice, it is excellent. Do NOT read her post and only see “hey look! She was with her man over 5 years when SHE got engaged, there IS hope!” Admit it, sweetie, you were. Stop it right now. Read the ENTIRETY of her post and follow her advice. One step at a time. Hell, one HOUR at a time. It’s gonna have to be that way for a while. The important part is: it won’t be like that forever. I promise.