(Closed) Devastated, late miscarriage at 20 weeks.

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

So sorry for your loss, but please don’t blame yourself because it isn’t your fault.  *HUGS*

Post # 4
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh my words. I have no worda, but I am SO sorry that you and your family have to experience this. I cried reading your story,and can’t even imagine how you feel.


ETA: you DID NOT CAUSE THIS!!! You did not kill your babies. You can not think that or tell yourself that! Nothing you did, or could have done would of prevented this. Big hugs, and prayers!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  .
Post # 5
8879 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

so sorry.  {hugs} to you and your family.

Post # 6
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Even though I’ve already commented in our fb group, I just wanted to say again how deeply deeply sorry I am for your loss.

This is NOT your fault. Repeat that to yourself, and know it.  It’s not your fault that your husband is upset either- he just loved the baby as you did.  Maybe you can comfort each other in your grief.

I really hope other bees who have been through similar experiences can offer some advice on how to best cope.

Please reach out to your family and close friends to help support you during this time.

Sending you bounds of love and hugs.

Post # 7
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

O hun, I knew the basics of what happened but your story above just put me right there in that room with you. I can’t possibly imagine what you went through for those few minutes. 

You did nothing to cause this, you were so diligent, prepared, careful… from the get go with this pregnancy. I know your husband is going through something awful now too but lean on each other to get through this. 

I’ll be thinking and praying for you tomorrow during your terrible ordeal. Hang in there. 

Post # 8
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Kaz, I know I said this on the FB group as well, but my heart is breaking for you.  There is nothing you could have done to save your baby.  You’ve been a wonderful mommy to this one as you have with your son, and did everything right.  I wish I could reach across the ocean and give you hugs and comfort you, but thoughts and words are the best I can do.  Take care of yourself hun, give yourself time to be sad and angry and everything else.  I’m praying for you.

Post # 9
8692 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry. Has your doctor ever done a blood test for Factor 5 Leiden if you are caucasian? It’s a clotting disorder that can cause miscarriages, especially later term. I have it myself so I just thought I’d mention it.

Post # 10
2905 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh no. I am so, so sorry. My heart is really breaking for you. This is so terribly unfair. Please know that you are an amazing wife and an amazing mother. I am so sad for you. 

Post # 11
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’m so sorry this happened to you.  This is not your fault at all.  Usually, there is no explanation for why we lose babies and that makes it even harder.  We just want to know why.  Please tell yor doctor you need to see the baby to say goodbye, that you MUST see your baby.  I’m a labor and delivery nurse and we let all moms see their babies, even when it has been awhile.  Just be prepared that the baby may be soft because it did pass a couple of weeks ago.  I would also ask for testing from your doctor, 3 babies lost may be due to a genetic cause.

The emotional pain will be much worse than the physical.  You will have cramping, like heavy menstrual cramps but there shouldn’t be much if any pushing involved.  Take the pain medication offered.

Best wishes to you and your family. Please tell your son that he has guardian angels looking over him for each of his siblings lost. 

Post # 12
283 posts
Helper bee

These are not your husband’s babies, these are your babies together, and this is something the two of you have and will go through together as the unit that you are. I’m so sorry that this string of heartbreaks has happened to you, please be kind to yourself during this time <3 Sending hugs your way.

Post # 13
2089 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

bouncybee:  Please listen when we tell you that it’s NOT YOUR FAULT! You made a nice save haven in your belly for your little babies. You did everything a mother should do. This is such a cliche but sometimes these things happen. It’s beyond our control or understanding. You have done nothing wrong. Your husband doesn’t blame you. He’s just trying to figure it all out too. I truely wish you all the best. And us Bees are always here if you want to talk xx

Post # 14
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I went threw this twice! I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Believe me, its NOTHING that you did to cause this. It’s unfair and it hurts beyond words!! My first MC was around 19wks, my second was around 21wks and both were due to Incompetent cervix. I went thru hell and back and wondered why me. Please allow yourself to heal from this. My best advice would be to lean on your husband and grieve for the loss of your child. The pain is ruff and extremely overwhelming but you are a strong women, mom and wife. Believe me, it will get better, hugs to you!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  Snapper.
Post # 15
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

As I mentioned on FB, my heart breaks for you and your family. With time you will get through this. Know it was not your fault, you did everything right for this little baby. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending prayers your way. xoxo

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